Dating a guy being "hot and cold"?

This guy I been dating for the past 2 months got me really confused. Whenever he sees me he shows great interests, he's talking sweet, being possessive and affectionate, last time he even asking me to move in with him, so we got into very close when we're together and it made me feel like I was about to get involved into a relationship. But whenever he doesn't see me he seldom txt me, he sometimes call me once or twice a week just asking how I was doing, or promised me he'd call that night but not until a few days later. So I got confused whether we are dating because all the lacking of attention. I asked him once if we were dating exclusively or he's seeing other girls. He got pretty offended by that claiming he's not a player he also wants a relationship as I do. I understand the fact that he's 10 years older than me (he's 32) having all the commitments in life can make him occupied with work and stuff and the man needs his space. But I just don't get much attention and feel like he's ignoring me sometimes. Now that I'm overseas the fact that we're far apart makes me worried even more about the situation. I just want to ask for what he's been doing is it normal? am I not being treating nicely?


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What Guys Said 2

  • You're not being treated nicely.

    A couple of things smell funny here. A guy who only calls once or twice a week is normal--it's more than he talks to his best friends. But if he says when he's going to call and he doesn't follow through, that's a bad sign.

    As to the question of whether you're dating exclusively, there are only two appropriate answers to that question. Anything else is fishy.

    Now, maybe you haven't established exclusivity and you're both free to date around, but then he should be straight-up and just communicate that to you.

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    • Thanks for the answer:). He called me last week from overseas asking how I was doing and following by a couple of txt later the night. Honstly I felt the conversation we had was more like b/w friends. I even thanked him for calling me. What annoys me the most is the fact I can only see him after a month time makes me worried he might starts to seeing other girls. Do you think I should just move on?

    • Ask him how he feels about moving on. He'll either try to work it out, or say "I understand". "I understand" = "Please dump me, because I'm to chickensh*t to dump you first."

  • You haven't been asking anything out of the ordinary or pushy and you definitely seem to be treating him nicely. I think he just needs to grow up.

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