How many people is too many people to date?

I'm recently single after many years in a relationship. I'm not proactively looking for a commitment. Honestly I am just enjoying my life as a independent woman until I meet one that has the potential for a lasting relationship. But here's the dilemma I have, I keep on getting asked if I'm seeing other men. When I respond "yes, I'm dating a few" I get these odd looks. How many is too many to date at any given time? and is being vague a signal of discouragement to men?


0|0
3|7

Most Helpful Girl

  • They're giving odd looks because everyone wants to be the only person the other is dating. However, prior to exclusivity, that's unrealistic. I assume that the guys I'm dating are dating other women up until the time we decide we're exclusive. That's what dating is for, and that's what exclusivity is for. There is no limit to how many you should be dating as long as you're keeping up with your work/home obligations and you're not intentionally hurting people.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I thought the point of dating was to find one that holds your attention and captures your feelings. Also I wonder if dating=sleeping with people. Maybe it's that equation that is making them scrunch up their noses. Too bad that's assumption that's all wrong.

    • Dating is to find someone that holds your attention and captures your feelings. But how are you supposed to find that person if you exclusively date one person at a time before you even know their last name? It's ridiculous. And it could be the sex part that's bothering them, but if they don't like the idea, they don't have to sleep with you until you're exclusive. What you do before he's your boyfriend is none of his business. That's the incentive for men to commit.

What Guys Said 7

  • I don't think it's any different for women or men. Nobody wants to be a notch on someone's belt.

    I don't know how many you consider to be "a few". Somebody you have just met should expect that you are seeing other men, at least initially. For me, one to perhaps three qualifies as a few. If I see that you are dating 5 to 10 guys at a time, then to me, you are a player and not worth my time.

    Also, if we have been dating a while, say more than 6 weeks, it would be reasonable to assume, even if we are not exclusive with each other, that at least the number is getting progressively smaller. If it's not changing, or it's getting larger, then I will decide that you are wasting my time and move on to someone who will value me more than that.

    Being vague about it, at least in the beginning, is your privilege. It's really nobody's business who you are seeing. And it's not your business who he's seeing, either. But as things progress, you both owe each other your honesty. He needs to know whether it's safe for him to allow himself to have deeper feelings for you. Same for you if you find yourself getting more than casually interested in him.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Your assesment is very logical and I can appriciate that. You would think the follow up question would be "how many". My answer would then be "X" (btw in the smaller category). So far I find that that doesn' t happen and I don't want to clarify if not asked. I think everyone should get a chance at a first date, it takes time to get to know a person so in the meantime why not date others.

  • I think you should date as many as you please or have time for. The more men you date the more likely you will find that lasting relationship. As for odd looks, I would say maybe you just need to keep looking until you find the one who smiles and says, " me too". Maybe the one who isn't discouraged is the one you are looking for.

    0|0
    0|0
  • From my perspective it is hard to be all cuddly and romantic with a women when she is having the same experience with 5 other guys too, it sort of cheapens it all doesn't it?

    0|1
    0|0
  • There is no number in my opinion. You can date how ever many guys you want

    0|0
    0|0
  • More than one, lol

    0|0
    0|0
  • at once? 3...more than 3 people at once, gets really dicey, and probably dangerous too

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe stick to just a couple at a time.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • There's no right or wrong answer for this. How ever many you're comfortable with dating is how many you should date. It doesn't matter what other people think, as long as you're upfront about seeing other people and not wanting anything serious. It's your life, do what feels right to you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • there isn't too many as long as you are honest with the guys when they ask you, jst say that yes, you are seeing other people and are dating right now. however they respond is up to them, but you are doing nothing worng or immoral ;)

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...