34M: How young is acceptable for dating?

Male 34. Not a lot of dating experience to go off of.

How young is too young? 18, 24, 30, somewhere in between?

I want to have a family w/healthy children, and the younger the parents are the healthier the child. I also don't care for "baggage" from previous bad relationships. Is there some sort of rule that's used?

Updates:
Ok. New commenters to this question: The "Half+7 Rule" has been stated at least a half-dozen times already. That point has been made, and noted.


(NOTE: The term"baggage" above refers to emotional baggage, not children.)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it depends on you and the girl's mindset. You do not want to be with a girl who is still "partying" and wanting to date around, and sleep around with other guys or what not. You know, the type of girl that maybe even if she has a kid, she still goes our clubbing every night and she still drinks a lot. Partying a lot, to me does not sound like "husband" or "wife" material. If you find a girl who is 18 and she seriously tells you that she is ready to settle down, marry you and be your wife and she has herself all figured out then you might say OK to her. Or you might not and take it with a grain of salt and think "hey maybe she is only saying this to use me to get out of her place so that she can have free rent or free food with me." I have heard of stories like this. My best guy friend got married young (maybe like middle 20s) and he got a divorce because she was using him just for free rent.

    The 18 year olds and younger, I feel you might not want to bother with them too much because they might still be "figuring themselves out" as in they don't know who they are, what kind of guy they want, and therefore they may not treat you great.

    I have heard stories like this before a lot of times. Where the girl or the guy gets together when they are like very young, maybe 16ish or whatever to 18ish, and they date for a long time (few years) and they break up for that reason. The reason is they feel they want to date around, see if there are other people more suitable out there for them. They feel they are missing out on life if they are tied down too early.

    24 might not be bad. At that age, some girls are finished with their first BA at least, and some already done with their MA. They might have their own rent, their own car, their own full time job, and be independent. They may have already dated enough to know what their "type" is, as in what they want in a guy and what they don't want in a guy. Some times though, these type of girls do already have 1-3 kids with previous guys. I use to work at a call center and I have met some beautiful girls who are that age, who have 2-3 kids with some other guy but they are gorgeous and they party a lot. always out dancing till 3 in the morning. So it depends, on if they have that no kids, want to settle in mode.

    For me, I think if you really wanted to find a girl who is in her mid 20s and still can have kids safely you can find her. Just make sure she wants to settle down.

    I'm 25 and I wanted to settle down at 24 and I found someone, although he is younger than me.

    bottom line: When you find the girl, make sure she had the mindset you have, and most younger girls probably don't.

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    • Very informative, Thank you.

What Girls Said 10

  • I read once (and it really makes sense if you think about it) half your age plus seven is as young as you can go without being creepy. so if you are 30 say 15+7=22 not too bad but not so young its weird.

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  • I think at least 21 and that's still a pretty major age difference. There's nothing wrong with dating women your age... I think around 5 years difference is more socially acceptable but who you date is up to you =).

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  • 30-35 isn't that old, my mom had me at 38

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  • Are you asking cause you want to date younger girls? Like girls who are 18?

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    • First off, that's a 2 questions, and not an answer. Second, I'm just assessing my options at my age. What I'm looking for is a single, never been married female, that does not have kids, but wants to have them. I'm finding many of the later 20's singles are single w/kids or divorced w/kids. Yes young women are highly attractive, but it's not my primary focus.

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    • @ FierceMegan "age is just a number. When two people get along and are on the same level. Everyone matures differently." couldent agree with you more

      very great answer

    • Thanks! :)

  • i would say 12 and up

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    • Is that legal age of consent in Canada? Here in the US, it's 14 in IA, most other states are 16, and the rest are 18 for age of consent.

  • 25 & older

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  • Halve your age, then add seven.

    34/2=17+7=24.

    24 is the minimum age for you to date.

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  • It is usually the younger women with emotional baggage and not the ones your age because they have lived long enough to learn how do deal with things better.

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  • When I was younger I would never date a guy more then 5 years older then me and even that was pushing it. Now five years younger is too old. LOL There are no rules just individual preferences.

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  • Well considering you're already not that young, then I don't see how you can be picky about how young the woman is. Using the "younger parents" excuse doesn't work out so great when you're not that young yourself. Be honest, you want a young hot thing for reasons other than a healthy child.

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    • Maybe a little guilty, but to also to try and offset my age in regards to the child's health and well being. But I'm also realistic and expecting more towards something over 24.

    • He is right. Men can still produce sperm well into old age but the older they get the more the quality of sperm goes down. This is also why they tell older women who want to have a child to find a much younger man.

    • eww... you made it sound lke we all just lab rats who are made for breedings only.

      we are humen for the love of god people!

What Guys Said 13

  • im 31 and all I seem to attract is girls between 19-22. they even ask me out. I don't know why. but I don't care about age and am not complaining. if the age difference became a big issue then there might be another girl the same age where it is not an issue because of her individual maturity. I just find that the girls my age when I get to know them are either looking for a 40-50 something year old wealthy man. or they have a bunch of kids and I don't have any so I'm not really interested in going that route again. and one didn't fall into either category but she is just in that mindset that she is older and can let herself go now physically. she is in pretty bad shape and I am a mma fighter, workout 6 days a week, love doing physical things outdoors and she just isn't going to be able to keep up with me and the lifestyle would just be too different. so the younger girls I guess are just much more close to my lifestyle. everybody is different however. there are plenty of beer belly guys that like to lay around and smoke cigarettes and watch t.v. that would be great with that girl. to each his own.

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  • I would recommend -7 years to +10 years for you, as you're in the same generation as me, so 27 to 44 year olds.

    I think you're established in your career, know what you want for you and know what you want in a woman. Now, this is just a guideline, and you may find some incredibly mature younger women outside of my recommendation.

    I'll be following this same age range when I start seriously friending women again after my divorce is final.

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  • if you are concerned with healthy kids I don't think you need to worry about age just yet. my mom was 35 when she had me, and my I'm as healthy or healthier then my friends (many of which) had young parents (think 16-18). so I think you would be fine dating anyone up to your age.

    as for baggage, just understand that if you are dating younger, there's a decrease in baggage but an increase in other factors such as immaturity, dealing with their parents (who may resist having their daughter date a 34 year old), and lack of financial support...

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  • Dear QA,

    Age and physical appearance is not the essential material in dating.

    Its the feeling deep down that develops when understanding and closeness are established between the people.

    I beleive that a person feel about his/her age depends on her personalities, meaning I am 28 close ahead to 29 however I dream and have the spirit of a teenager.

    This doesn't mean that being teenager affects wisdom of the person, I have meet many young people who are mature in mind and also I have met the opposit.

    There are no perfect match, perfect age or even perfect look...all these are just missleading myths.

    I do have one comment on your question though, I disagree with calling children as "baggage" not to mention that its not neccesrily to be from bad relationship.

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    • the "baggage" reference was not directed at children, rather the emotional hangups caused by previous relationships. Children are not baggage.

    • thank you for clearing this up

  • You can't applly silly formulas to this and expect a definite age. Find a girl at a similar stage of life as you. If I'm working for a living, I wouldn't be dating a girl in her early 20's still going to college. A girl in grad school or something maybe. It also depends on the level of maturity, there are lots of 30 year old girls who act like they're 18, but also 24 year olds who act more like they're 30... you'll just have to get to know them better to find out. And they all THINK they're mature, so you'll have to be the judge of that over time by how crazy they are. So in the end it's up to you, but I'd probably stick with someone in their late 20's or older.

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  • The rule of thumb that I always use is;

    half the age of the older person, plus seven, is the minimum age for the younger person. So for you, that is 24. Of course, this isn't a hard and fast rule, if you hit it off with some 22 year-old, who's business is it to care?

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    • I knew there was a guideline, I just didn't know what it was. Thanks.

  • I don't necessarily think or believe that younger parents breed healthier children unless the guy is like 70. The healthier the parents, the healthier the child.

    A women being 34 isn't going to change how healthy the baby is if she were 18. There isn't really an age "rule" or whatnot, but someone 18 is too young IMO...even for my age. You would look like a creepy old dude. I think a 5 year spread isn't bad.

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  • definitely 24/25 man, after college for sure at your age. any younger I can almost guarantee it's either not going to last, she's in a wayy different spot; or she's in it for money, security, escape, or testing the waters. plus, imagine her friends that you would meet. I mean do you really want to go to some kegger or frat bar every week?

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  • 1/2(age) +7

    Otherwise known as the Half-Plus-Seven rule. Pretty decent benchmark puts you at 24.

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  • Age doesn't matter when two people respectfully love each other!

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  • Everything's fine in my eyes if none of them are younger than 14 yo.

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    • I live in the US, not Russia, or some European country where they're more open to age gaps.

    • And what's the problem? Don't tell me anyone actually cares about laws and stuff.

    • just wondering when most of the world are open to age gaps and only few are not, always wants to distinguish themselves by acting defrent than others lol

  • I say 10 years is a real stretch, but just barely acceptable.

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  • Whatever you can negotiate. Nothing wrong with dating a girl in her early 20s. Just harder to meet them and attract them. But if you do and you like each other--game on!

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