He won't let me date, why?

One of my closest guy friends, James, lives eighteen hours away, and we've known each other since we were kids (he's two years my senior). We would date if it weren't for such the huge distance, but, I don't want to and neither does he.

But the problem is, he goes out on dates and has sex, and I have no problem with it. But when I told him I had gotten back from a date, he flipped sh*t. He was so pissed, irate! He told me I was 'his' and I wasn't allowed to date anyone, which made me angry.

So, guys, what does this mean? Does it mean he likes me? Or he doesn't, because if he thinks its okay for him to date other people, I have a feeling I like him more then he likes me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 'let you' I think you mean he gets mad when you date even tho he dates. he can not allow or disallow you, so get out of that mind set.

    tell him, if he wants to be exclusive then he would have to discuss that with you rationally. & ultimately it would mean that neither you nor he dates or has sex with anyone else.

    be sure to use mutual language. not you or i. because he's clearly a control freak & a hypocrite. & he has to understand if you guys are together you are together, its between the two of u, not one having decision making power over the other. & by the way you asked the question.. I'm not sure you realize that yourself.

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What Guys Said 3

  • it means he's selfish...why can he look at the menu, order, even get desert

    while you're stuck at ordering drinks?

    doesn't make sense right?

    go have fun, you 2 aren't dating and he is going on dates and having sex...why should he hold you back like that, its not fair!

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  • Guys often still think they own girls, especially when they are even a little older (two years is a lot at your age...) It means he's possessive and this will only get worse in a closer relationship.

    You need to think of your options...

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  • Obviously you can't let him determine whether or not you date.

    What happens when he marries a girl that he's dating, and they have 2.5 children and live in a nice home in the suburbs? Are you to live the rest of your life alone?

    The next time that he says that you're 'his', say "Then why are you out having sex with other women?.

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What Girls Said 2

  • He won't let you date probably because he knows he can be a hypocritical jerk and you'll obey his orders. I would've laughed in the face of any guy who told me that in your situation, and then promptly deleted his number. Whether he likes you or not is irrelevant. He's acting abusive and controlling.

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  • He's possessive. You need to set him straight. I understand not wanting to cut him off completely because he's an old firend, but you need to tell him to back off of your case, you will do what you want, and when he's ready to accept that like a mature human being, you will accept his texts - NOT before. He'll come around, but it might take a while. Be firm and strong with him.

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