Why do men in relationships/marriages want other people?

He is addicted to making profiles on dating sites and sex sites...etc. he talks to women and wants.pictures..I found out about it and he started.to.cry.. said he doesn't deserve me..which is true, but he knows its wrong and he says he feels guilty and sick after wards. He and I have been together for four years. I had already had sex before him and he was still a virgin. We broke up already because he said he was curious about being with other people and it bothered him that I had. While we were apart he just ended up coming back to ME AND wanting to work things out. I feel we should break up but I know we'd just get back together. If you can't handle someone at their worse or while they are struggling than you just flat out don't deserve them. Me I wanna help him get through this, I just don't know how. I know it has to be up to him and all him, but he shouldn't have to feel alone. I stand by him through thick and thin. Yeah seems like we take one step forward to take two steps back. We get along so great. We don't ever fight. He says I am beautiful and the one he wants to marry, Just having a hard time with him only being with one person for his life. He has friends and coworkers that brag about their past party days and sex with lots of people...I just need help. I want to understand why or how he says and knows It's wrong doesn't wanna loose me but once he around a computer and he by himself why he forgets the real world for cyber fake bull sh*t. He did say he likes that people still want him and find him attractive. It just sucks its online...I get the whole wanting to feel wanted...its a great feeling to know your attractive to other people. What can I do? I know dumping him is a option which yes I'm considering but It's the easy way out, it shows I can't handle his problems. I'm better than that I'm a fighter, I'm not a quitter...is there anyone out there who can relate? Has any advice? Anything? I'm so torn.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This isn't about being a fighter, its about him not having much respect for you and you're making excuses for him and making it out to be like an addiction.

    Now, if it is an addiction then he needs professional help if it keeps happening.

    If its not an addiction then don't let this guy walk all over you, if my boyfriend was my first id be happy that I get to spend the rest of my life with the person I lost it to, I wouldn't be thinking about seeing other people! If that's the case with him then he shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with, you can't have both a steady girlfriend and still expect to sleep with others.

    Did you actually let him go off and maybe sleep with others and then come back to you? I know 4 years is a long time but you also need to think about are you gonna be able to live your life like this, with him always talking about how he might want to try it with other people? Sorry but if that was my boyfriend then he would have been out of the door a long time ago, no excuses x

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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like he should look into attending Sexaholics Anonymous. Most of the time, people who are addicted to sex and similiar activites, it has nothing to do with the sex and everything to do with their self-worth/esteem, which is what he's describing to you.

    His constant need for others' affirmation of his attractiveness is a sign that he feels ugly, and this is why SA would be a great resource for him.

    Being a supportive person, especially a lover is exactly what he would need if he were to commit to SA AND stay for the long term.

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What Girls Said 1

  • There are plenty that can relate I promise you. I'm dealing with the same thing and have been almost 4 years. If he's anything like my fiancĂ©, you better decide now if you can handle lots of stress, its what you are going to get. If he would be willing to get help with it, then you probably have a chance of working it out, if not, it will just keep happening. I'm not saying just men either, there are women that have the same problem. I don't know about your guy but mine excuses his by saying it's just entertainment. Its not when they'd rather do that than spend time with you. People with this problem seem to need the constant flirtation or I honestly think just want to see if they can get the other person online to send the pics. Its a very hard to go through and I will not be one telling you to dump him, its all I get told, and I haven't been able to yet. I don't know how long you have been with him but if you honestly love him, you won't be able to just let him go, it will take some time. I myself am in for the long haul. I wish you lots of luck.

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