Why is she leading me on?

Or at least making it impossible to get over her?

I love my best friend, but she does not return the feeling. She's told me she just wants to be friends.

However, a few weeks ago she cuddled up to me on the couch and we watched some movies. afterward we ended up fooling around and I stayed the night with her.

Last night we went out to the movies and afterward she asked me to stay the night with her (Shes never asked this before). So I did. We didn't have sex, I just gave her a a nice massage and then we cuddled up and went to sleep together in her bed. It was amazing...Holding her and just having her close to me...

This is the same girl that wrote this about me in a blog:

"So last night a friend of mine took me out to dinner and by the end of the night had professed his feelings to me. I told him (as I had already done before) that I only saw us as friends and he wasn't my type, and basically that I wasn't interested. He was OK with that and said he's cool with being friends Because I'm one of the closest friends he has.

So... it's been a while since I've been in an awkward situation like that. I mean, it's no secret that he had a crush on me, but I'd already made it clear before that I just liked him as a friend. So now, I have some other friends who say that I shouldn't hang around with this guy so much Because I'll give him the wrong signals. But he really is one of my closer friends now and we hang out. So I have a hard time just thinking "oh hm I'll just stop hanging out with him and all that."

So is it that since he has feelings for me, we can't be good friends anymore? They say boys and girls can't just be friends. Is that true? Maybe I just don't know how to interact with people. May sound conceited, but the people I click with most (in terms of guys) usually end up having some kind of crush on me. But then that kinda makes sense Because if you click well, then you tend to become good friends, right? I dunno. This is so annoying. What to dooooooooo..."

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Its obvious she has no feeling for me but why does she keep making it so hard for ME to move on. I am deeply in love with her, plus she is my best friend. I can't just cut her out of my life. I love ever second I have with her, its just hard knowing that she'll never feel the same.


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What Girls Said 1

  • okay...dude. This is a horrible situation. I have been in your shoes and it is the most painful thing in the world to be in love with your best friend and those feelings are not returned. Unrequitted love can take years to get over, esp. when that person is leading you on. Let me tell you now, LEAVE, RUN, GO AWAY...NOW. I'm not just saying this like it's so easy to leave one of the only people you've been so close to. This person, knows you more than you do. They know your personality, you weird habbits, your deepest secrets. Because they know you so well, you think that their a good best friend. Not. If this person is constantly torturing you, KNOWING how you feel about them, that person is sick, insecure, selfish and is using you. That is not a best friend. I'm telling you to slowly distance yourself from her and let time heal your heart. Do not be like me and constantly endure their torture because deep down inside you think, "One day! They will confess their love for me. They just don't know it yet. If I stick around they'll see that I'm the one..." Do not listen to this. Because it won't happen. I promise. It'll be 5 years later and you'll still be in the same position. That's why I'm telling you for the sake of your mental health and future relationships, RUN AWAY. One day you will realize, and it's gonna hurt so bad, that they truly don't love you like you love them. It will hurt more than the many times she already told she just wanted to be friends. Trust me, I have been there, and it's not pretty. And know that if this person really was a friend and cared about you, they would want you to be happy and not constantly hurt, because of unrequitted love for them. They would distance theirself from you, because they care about your feelings. They would tell you to take a break to figure things out. They would NOT mess around with you and put themselves in romantic situations with you. No one would do that to someone they cared about. The only way to fix this is to choose between 2 choices, and they both will hurt like hell:

    1. Keep being close to this person, seeing and talking to them constantly, enduring the torture, for years, of being just friends and being in love with someone that doesn't love you. or,

    2. Talk to this person about it, then distance yourself. Take about a month or more away from them to sort through your feelings. and let time heal your heart. This means your friendship will of course change (they won't be in your life as much as they use to), but this needs to happen. And if it's at a point where you should not contact her at all, then do so.

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