I told her that I was happy for her and that I wished everything worked out for the best, but that I wouldn't be waiting for her if their relationship ended. I would be there to support her, but only as a friend. I thought she and I came to an understanding, but soon enough, I came to doubt that.
After they were together for several weeks, they broke up. While I don't know the reason why they broke up, I'm willing to give her ex-boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. The only thing she told me was that he decided that he wasn't over his ex-girlfriend and that their relationship wasn't going to work out as a result.
Needless to say, she came back to me, literally a day after they had broken up, and I think it's also important to point out that this was the first time she talked to me since they got together. After a few days, she asked me out, but I turned her down in spite of the feelings I still had, and still sort of have for her. To be honest, I had come to accept the fact that she liked someone else better than me, and I moved on as a result. My pride got the better of me, and I couldn't accept being her second-best choice in spite of how painful it was for me to do.
After I told her no, she was furious. She called me douche bag for turning her down, and that I was being a baby about everything. She's been ignoring me on Facebook, she hasn't returned my calls, and she won't reply to my text messages. I just want to tell her how sorry I am, and that I want to be here for her, but she won't speak to me. I miss hanging out with her, and to be honest, I still have some feelings for her.
I'm starting to think that this is all my fault, but I'm faced with a huge dilemma. I want to be with her, and I want to believe that her feelings are genuine because she's my friend, but I'm afraid of our relationship being a rebound one. When we still hung out, we always had a lot of fun together. She always managed to pick up my spirits if I was having a bad day. We came very close to kissing when went for a walk one night this summer, and we held hands the entire time! I miss her more and more each day.
I just don't know what to do. I miss our friendship dearly. I miss her to the point where she's been all I've been thinking about for the last few days.
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