When girls say "We need to talk"

How can your girlfriend/or the girl your dating say this little phrase with out you freakin out and acutally LISTEN to what we have to say and be adults about the issue at hand? any tips or advice on how a girl can get you to sit down and not zone out? or be defensive?


Most Helpful Guy

  • well first off don't say "we need to talk" that's kind of intimidating lol. I felt a sickening feeling in my lower belly just by reading the title :D. but what you want to do is start the conversation as flirty or a regular convo that contains laughing (in person not over the phone). then say "hey can I ask you something?" because they may think that its a new conversation starter and will listen to what you have to say.

    • Thats exactly what I had in mind. Me and him joke around a lot and tend to play fight sometimes so I was gonna casually throw in what I want to tak about..Hopeflly it works!

    • i think that's gold. message me and tell me how that goes

    • I will for sure! now I just need to build the courage to do it...Im kinda afraid of the outcome...i guess its 50/50


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What Guys Said 2

  • Don't start out by saying "we need to talk" that would be a good start. When I hear that phrase I get a sick feeling.

    • I know right! Everytime I say "honey I need to talk to you" he automatically says "I didn't do it!" hahaha

  • We even use the cliche "we need to talk"? It only implies something negative is about to happen. Why not just start talking about whatever it is when you're in a comfortable setting?

    • Yes this cliche has a really negative rap. I suppose I can slip into the convo when in a care free manner but I still want to make my point across and be firm about it with out him taking it so lightly.

What Girls Said 2

  • DON'T use this phrase at all. Many many guys DISLIKE IT. If you want to tell them something without him zoning out, tell them straight away, keep it straightforward, short and simple. Guys like that better, especially since many guys get rather tired after coming back from work, school, etc., and thus they won't have the mood to listen if girls use this unnecessary "we need to talk" phrase. If he gets defensive, keep it cool, calm, simple, and objective.

  • I have read a wonderful book called "Secrets about men that Every woman should Know" written by PhD Psychologist. She talked about the "We need to talk" line. She said the guys normally freak out when they hear it because they hate to feel interrogated. Men are always right, you know? So, the author says it's better to find another way to sit and talk & to not use this line at all. Don't intimdate the guy. That's how they are hardwired afterall.

    • Ohhhhhhh thanks! imma have to look into it. I won't use this line I was just tryihg to make a point. that not all "talks" are necessarily bad ya know!

    • Excellent book, I must say :)