What are the proper protocols for paying on dates?

In the old days, it was expected of men to pay for women on dates. Since the feminist movement of the 60s and 70s, that practice is often considered sexist. I'm having difficulty figuring out the proper protocol to determine who should pay on dates. Any opinions?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The rule that I read somewhere.. and think works is that the guy pays for the first three dates at least. (This is assuming that he asks the girl out too.) If you don't have the cash, well you get to pick the date so you don't have to go crazy. That being said your date shouldn't be just ordering things like crazy. If I knew my date was paying I would follow his lead on spending and be polite. I say pay and let the girl offer to split, but don't accept it until after at least 3 dates. When you are really in a committed relationship its cool to split everything, or as I like to do take turns paying (seems friendlier.)

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    • What's the rule of the girl asks the guy out but the guy comes up with the place?

What Girls Said 9

  • Man calls, man asks for date, man plans date, man picks up woman, man pays for date. Women receives. Period. At a later time when the two of you are in a relationship...let the woman pay sometimes and treat you. But in the beginning...the "protocol" involves the man persuing and winning her over. Time tested mother approved :)

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  • the first date: guy pays (though if the girl isn't a moron, she WILL offer to pay her half)

    every other date after that: split the bill

    when you're officially together: sometimes guy picks it up, sometimes girl picks it up

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    • for the first date: whoever did the asking out should pay. I assumed the guy did the asking out lol

  • You should always pay. If the woman you are on a date offers say no. Often women offer with no intention of actually paying, they just feel like they are suppose too. (its a combo of feminism-they feel like to be independent no one can pay for them, but they also want to be taken care of. So they hope you will deny their offer. Also sometimes if they offer and you say OK, there will be no more dates after that) However, if she is a true feminist or decides the date didn't go well and she just wants to be friends she will insist on paying half.

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  • It's nice when he offers to pay, but I wouldn't accept.

    Split is best IMO.

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  • Whoever asks, pays.

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  • I think it depends on who invite who on a date - if you invite a girl on a date you should pay.

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  • Well I don't think it's sexist if the guy wants to pay all the time, that would just work out to my benefit... Unless he started using it as a weapon like: "I always pay for you, what do you do for me?" But with that being said I don't mind treating him sometimes or paying for myself either. I have a job for a reason, and I wouldn't want my guy to feel like I don't appreciate him or I'm just using him for his wallet.

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    • Also, I agree with most of the other girls. I like it when the guy pays on the first date. It shows that he's the type of guy who is willing to take care of his girl, and I don't mean just with money. I still usually offer to pay my half on the first date though, and I love it when they say no. It's a sign of his character I guess.

  • the first few dates, you pay

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  • I personally like it when a guy at least offers to pay for me on the first date. Most people will agree that going dutch (splitting 50/50) or the person who initiated the date should pay is the most appropriate though.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I'd say offer to pay for the whole thing, it's pretty much the protocol on a first date. If she really insists of paying, split it 50/50. However, that's more a second date aproach.

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  • Just pick up the bill. If you don't want to do that don't ask the girl out. But don't make a scene about it either--if the girl wants to pay something let her. Don't armwrestle for the the bill.

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  • I would personally offer to cover the first few dates, and would do so, unless she has a strong objection to my doing that for some reason. It's tricky, because as you said, everyone has different views on the subject.

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  • if she asked you out pay 50/50. If you asked her you pay for both of u.

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  • I personally feel paying on dates is a quality of being a gentlemen and I kinda find it sweet to pay for it as long as the girl is sweet and nice. If the girl really insists than you could have half share but personally I prefer to pay on every date.

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