Is he just trying to get laid? I think he has alternative motives.

There's this good looking white man who is a client actually and I'm a receptionist for the company(Im black) well he has been asking me out for almost a year now and I just wouldn't do it and he flies in every 3 to 4 months so I rarily see him. Thing is, I know its not right to date someone at the same company esp the client and I'm a security officer too and I feel he is too sucessful for me, out of his league you know? and I remember him before asking me out to show him around and when I said I can't do that he was like how bout you come to my hotel room and we have pizza? Sounds like something else. but usually he asks me out and is doin it again this week. Do you think he is just tryin to have a fling when he is here? I know he couldn't want to seriously date me because I am a security officer. I think he has alternative motives. What you think?

Updates:
well, Guys, I didn't do it. Good, right? Since yesterday I been feeling wrong about it like in my stomach and you just don't ignore that feeling. Its telling you something. So I told him through text and he was cool about it

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, this guy is up to no good. He is a client, he flies in a few times a year and then he suggests you find a way to get around doing something you are not comfortable with (showing him around) by inviting you to his hotel room. Honestly, for me, that would reek of total disrespect. Worse, heaven only knows what his status is at home. He may be married or be in a relationship and having affairs when he travels. A guy who doesn't care about your concerns is a guy who doesn't care about others in general.

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    • I see you are going on a date with this guy. I hope you leave alcohol out of it and you don't have anything to do with going to his hotel. Honestly, if this guy wanted something serious with you, he would never have suggested meeting at his hotel and he would try and contact you when he is not in town, just keep up some friendly conversation. I think you are stepping in to trouble going out with him, but good luck.

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    • Yes, I have found every time I try to fight a gut instinct it is a mistake. Some girls are great about going out with someone just to enjoy the attention. I personally am not. I found out that I need to feel good about the guy, and believe that he is considering me as girlfriend material, not just for sex. You cannot always know that but at the point I do realize a guy is all about getting it in, well I stop dating him. I have no interest in being looked at as booty call material by a guy.

    • yeah I mean I was a little excited at first but the closer it got to today the more I felt less excited. I just feel like we are not compatible in any way altho I probably would have liked the attention for some reason my stomach wasn't feelin right about it.

What Guys Said 3

  • Next time he asks you out, tell him you could meet him at a coffee shop (name the specific coffee shop) for coffee. Then, you two can chat over coffee. You'll be able to sense pressure from him if it's there.

    If you do sense pressure, tell him you like talking with him, but you're not feeling too great about this pressure. If he ends things there or soon after, you'll know he was interested in pretty much only the sex.

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    • He does seem nervous when he comes talk to me at my deska nd its short too and I be so nervous to I hate it. I don't know I do feel he just interested in getting it in because I'm not his type.

    • Hm, well, it's hard to tell for sure what's causing the nervousness. Do you think it might be mutual attraction?

    • Well for me because I can't believe he is interested because a guy of his stature I would never think would look twice at a secuirty officer better yet a black woman(Not use to white guys hittin on me esp sucessful) so I get nervous cause I do find him attrctive moreso now. He does stare

  • A: Men don't care about women's status or income very much. We like nice, attractive women. Period.

    B: He lives somewhere else and has tried getting you to his hotel room. Yeah, you'd be a fling. To be perfectly honest, that might have nothing to do with how he thinks of you, its just that he doesn't live there. Its not your job, its the geography (well, maybe other things ... but not the job).

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    • Are you sure about A? I mean he is a business man and I'm just a SO. What can I do for him? you know? but slp with him and I'm not that type at all. I just don't want to make a mistake going out with him and I know in my heart he justr tryin to sleep with me. Get a free meal? idk. Just enjoy my time abd if he tries, don't fall for it and then have him take me home? Thinkin...

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    • I'd suggest no hotel room ;)

      And like I said originally, I think its _more_ likely he's after a fling, but not because he's white and you're black or because you're a security guard. Its just you're an attractive woman who lives in a city he visits but doesn't live in.

    • yeah I needed to hear that and your right this is a convenient situation for him and I know he is not serious. After the meet up, ill know for sure and he won't be getting any.

  • come to his hotel room? ummm he is trying to hook up with you .

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    • He's is persistant asking me out when he comes in town which is rare. He'll come by my desk and speak a little and go then id message him on wrk I'm chat about wrk and hell bring up asking me out and how he is waiting however long it takes. It sort of flattering

What Girls Said 6

  • Don't down play yourself so much hun :( I doubt he is just trying to get in your pants if he has asked you out several times. And a job status does not put you in a lower league. Just let him take you out and see if you have a good time, don't sleep with him and see if he calls you back.

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    • but what about that one time he asked me to come to his hotel room after asking to take me out and me saying No? Wasnt that a sign he just tryin to hook up? I guess when I go out with him thurs I will see but I feel he is only tryin to get it in when he comes in town with me. I'm not necessarily his type if you know what I mean so that has to be it because I'm pretty enough, I guess he is natuarlly attrcted to me because he only seen me really made up in the face once and after that I just been lookin plain

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    • ok. I will and thanks. Ill let you know how it went. I just wish I wouldn't feel nervous with him. That feeling sucks

    • Well have fun

  • A man who travels a lot and is only in town every few months asked to meet you at his hotel and have pizza. He ain't looking for a relationship.

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    • yeah when he said that I was like not surprised and I really do think he is married, not use but he is too attrctive

  • I think he is trying to have a fling. STAY AWAY from this person.

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    • I don't say this because of status or race. Kobe married a backup dancer. I just think that since he doesn't live where you live and he already has asked you to come to his hotel room, I feel like he is only looking for a fling but if he wasn't attracted to you even only sexually he wouldn't have asked you to come to his hotel room.

    • thats true and thank you. Now I'm doubting I sgould even go. I could lose my job if someone finds out, if he is married who knows if I get caught up in something with his wife by accident and I know he wants a fling. So its only obvious what to do right?

  • lmao why did you specify about what ethnicity you are?...

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    • Just to paint the whole picture and plus I know people have opinons about interracial couples and I never erally done anythin like this. So that's why. besides that I declined from goin. I just didn't feel right about this whole situation. Too many things can go wrong and I just feel like we wouldn't click.

  • Don't doubt yourself because of your job or skin color at all! Women date men with "higher careers" all the time and hthere are plenty of biracial couples. However the way he asks you to go to his hotel room does sound like he's just trying to have sex. Don't go for his trap.

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    • yeah he asked that once after asking me to go out to dinner with him several times. He should have never asked that period if that's not why he is talking to me

  • I don't think he cares about your status maybe you should try to get to know him better perhaps text or phone calls and perhaps you can see where it goes from there. As long as you don't give him what you think he wants your good and have nothing to lose.

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    • funny thing is we got each others number last week and we never call each other lol idk

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