Amazing first date - then she cuts off?

I am not big into online dating so I thought I would give it a shot. So Wensday night I went on a first date with a girl. It went really well right off the bat. We have a ton in common and we connected on a lot of levels. Of course it was fun too and I had her laughing all night. We eventually made out for like an hour and it wasn't just hot it was like really tender too. By no means was it a "perfect" date as those don't exist and they will always be a little awkward but still it was for sure a big success. She showed a TON of interest. So I thought no brainer we will have a second date. Usually when I hook a girl like that she wants to hang out or talk every day...However, the next day after the date, on Thursday, I sent a general "had a great time we should do again" type text...She did not even respond...I figured maybe she wanted me to call not text so I called her Friday afternoon(we are artists so no day jobs) and she did not pick up nor did she call me back. I left no voice mail so I don't seem too desperate to talk to her...So she has not called me back, texted, nothing... How is this possible? I've never had a girl cut off like this unless something specifically happened like a fight or something...My friends that are girls say she could be playing hard to get in the sense that she might feel like she gave up too much by her book and she wants to send the message she isn't a "slut" and doesn't want to be "hurt". I'm a guy so I can't relate of course but I remember her saying something like she gets hurt a lot... It could also make sense because the girl told me she rarely kisses on the first date let alone makes out...I mean we can talk about what is on her mind till the cows come home but the reality is this is done isn't it? I was planning on no more contact unless she contacts me. Has anyone been in a situation like this and by ignoring her she hits you up? Everyone tells me they have but I haven't...If a girl is into you she makes it obvious and is really responsive in my opinion.I guess this is why dating guru's tell girls to play hard to get because this is definitely making me want her more but I don't know if that is healthy for me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm a huge online dating junkie and the only reason that I have done this, is because I realized after the fact that I just wasn't really interested in him. A lot of times for girls, it's easier to go with the flow than to fight it. I've really liked a guy and then when I kissed him, no major sparks flew, so I just left it at that. Which is a really d-bag thing to do and I always tell a guy when I am not interested now. If she has been hurt many times, than it's a safe bet to say she isn't too confident with sharing her true feelings good or bad and that can be why she's chosen to remain silent.

    Also, you have to understand that when you are dating someone online, there's the chance that they are seeing other people too. Kind of like a way less intense version of the Bachelor/Bachelorette. I've gone on dates with 3 different guys and then singled one out and went for him.

    There's also a chance that something came up. You are in the process of getting to know her, but you still don't know her. You don't know what her schedule is like and what her life is like. Maybe she is playing hard to get and maybe she really does like you, but needs to take things slow. There could be a lot of reasons. But personally, if I like a guy, I don't wait. I will let him know and play hard to get by not seeing him right away or by not kissing him the next time. Then again, I can only speak for myself.

    All I can suggest is maybe shooting her a text, "look I had a great time with you and I'd like to get to know you better with no expectations. If things progress, great, if not, that's okay too. If you are on the same page, let me know, if not it was a pleasure meeting you." That gives her complete control of the situation and doesn't make her feel like you are going to keep hounding her or being pushy. Then you can move on. Definitely with online dating, you are going to go on a ton of dates, before anything really sticks. So just have fun with it. I've been doing it for the last 18 months and I am still single. But more so by choice now haha.

    • Yea I think you make a great point about the numbers of online dating. Its way uneven. My friends that are girls who date online non stop have dates. Also yea its not her schedule.She works at home.I totally know what you mean when you kiss there are no sparks. That has happened before and guys can feel that too..but I mean would you make out with a guy and be all over him for an hour if you felt no sparks?

    • This is where perception can be tricky. Your interpretation of what "all over" is, can be completely different than a woman's.

      I have continued making out with a guy I wasn't interested in, because the thought of stopping him and saying, "look I don't think this is going to work, I just don't feel a connection" was far more scary than just ignoring him after.

      The fact is people are people. You two are still for the most part strangers and she has no obligation to you.


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What Girls Said 2

  • dosnt sound like she will call back. sadly I had recently a similar thing happening with a guy. feels horrible getting cutt off. but then after 3 weeks he called me I didn't respons so he sent me a mail saying sorry and that he had been busy and that he needed to not care and just go crazy. I lost intrest in him. but anyway she will call back :) but honestly dosnt sound like it girls don't really do sh*t liek that if we like you we will wanne be with you. good luck

  • She is not going to call you. I don't undedrstand what she is thinking but I don't think ignoring her will make her contact you. This is done find yourself someone new. She sounds like a head case to me. She says she gets hurt a lot but then when a genuinely nice guy comes along she ignores him.

    • Well I am a nice guy in my core. But I definitely do not come across as one..When I interact with girls and I am sharp they all think I am some sort of player or a guy that dates a lot. So I have had girls be very defensive in the past until they saw that I actually was a good guy...but defensive and putting up boundaries is not ignoring so yea...She prob is a head case to even tell someone she just met that she gets hurt a lot- she also told me about her daddy too. but...

What Guys Said 1

  • Forget the girl. She probably dating other guys and found someone else more attractive in her opinion. She probably did what she did and scrammed mostly. Some girls standards are really high. You could have said something she didn't like. Some people are really picky.