What should I do...keep seeing her or move on?

I met this girl.she has a 1 1/2 year old son, I don't have any kids. I don't mind her being a mom. Anyways we've talked for 3 months and have only seen each other a few times, its been like once every month, and we talk everyday. We live 45 min away from each other, I've been trying and wanting to see her more often but she seems to give me an excuse all the time as if she were hiding something. I've sent her flowers etc. She seems to get really shy when we talk about things, she has told me she wants to be my gf. but I feel like if I need to see her more before she is my gf. I feel as if I'm kind off wasting my time, waiting to see her. I'll be leaving in Jan to finish school. so umm.yeah I don't know what to do, any opinion, or advice is welcome thanks in advanced to you all.

Updates:
lol Yeah.the last thing I want to do is to take time away from her son for her to see me, and she knows that because I have been straight forward with her, we've gone out together with her son with us. Me going away for College doesn't help either.
well it's been four months and umm...yeah turns out she cheated with some older guys and all...she said she changed lol sh*t I wonder how much. Anyways thank you all for the great responses...I have def. moved on and found nice girls who is worth my time

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Most Helpful Girl

  • As a single mother, she may just be a little more rigid about allowing men into her life. I don't think she is hiding anything, just being super extra careful. It's a sign of a good mom to me. If you make the effort to woo her longer and harder than you would a woman without children, then it proves to her you thought she was worth the work. Which means it would be more than likely that you would be in her life permanently. Scary words I know. It's just hard to take risks on men who are just so-so about you. No woman wants men waltzing in and out of their children's' lives.

    It's serious business dating single mothers, they have to take their children's' feelings into account as well as their own. They have to work and raise their kids, doing the job of both parents. It wouldn't be good to take time away from their child to spend time with a man and have it not work out. That's time they can't get back.

    Just my two cents from a former single mother. It took me a year before I introduced my husband to my daughter after we started dating.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Hun, it is hard work raising a child, and you seem like a great guy, so she would have to work around such a little one. She may also be a little scared, its one thing to have someone leave you in a relationship, but when someone leaves you when you have a kid, there is a higher state of emotions involved (this is guessing that her ex left her) and therefore fear may come into play here that she will be hurt again. YOu have not said whether you have met the child yet. so I guess until she trusts you, I am guessing you haven't, and it is probably easier for you to work around her plans as kids are temperamental at the best of times. best of luck.

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  • A lot of mothers won't get real serious with a guy and see him too much until she is for sure about the man. It is hard on kids to be introduced to people, get attached, and lose them over and over again. If she expresses that she wants to be your girlfriend I think she really likes you and is just lookiing out for her son. Also being a young single mother usually means she got hurt pretty bad, maybe she is just scared. If it is worth it to you I say take your time and let her open up to you. If you feel that you're wasting your time then it's probably time to move on.

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  • I agree you need to spend more time with her before she is your (gf). Letting her know and showing her that you want to make an effort may comfort her enough to open up more. She may be scared of getting hurt. Unsure her self of what to do. And with you going away may not be helping her any. Long distance relationships can be hard on people. As for the excuses? If she won't let you try to see her after you have tried then it may not be meant to happen. But at least you can't say you didn't try. :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Leave her

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    • Yeah that's what I did...she turned out be a waste of my time.

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