Would you date a disabled person?

There are some disabilities that still allow you to function mostly normally, like being in a wheelchair, and then there are those that are a little bit harder.

Mostly what I'm speaking of is things like Aspergers, or High Functioning Autism. Someone who can't always understand everything, understands enough to be able to participate in normal society but needs a little bit of help sometimes. It's a completely different dynamic from dating a "normal" person, and a lot more challenging. Not only do you have to say exactly what you mean, but you can't always expect your partner to understand when you're upset or hurt unless you say it to them directly.

So do any of you think you could fall in love with someone like that? And if you could, do you think you could handle dating them?

Updates:
What about someone who was deaf and/or blind?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I could fall in love.. dating would be difficult but I would try my best. End of the day it's not their fault, they didn't choose it and it might make them a better partner - they will be able to express things exactly and therefore might make me feel more secure with the relationship.

    It would be difficult though, I'm not the most fluent of people when I talk! But I would try my very best, and if the relationship failed I would make it very clear that it failed because of me not them.

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    • With something like Aspergers and Autism it depends how severe the case is, every individual functions at a different level. For some autistic people you can only use short sentences, but for both aspergers and autism the reading level is usually higher than the ability to understand spoken word.

      With Aspergers the biggest problem is social ques, facial expressions, hand gestures, these aren't understood. A person with Aspergers also usually doesn't look at your face when they speak with you

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    • Awww... I'll definitely look into it!

      Poor you.. I said before I'm a carer - I look after my dad. He had to have an amputation, and since then has never been the same (obviously haha) but physically disabilies are different to... I guess this is a mental one? (Is it classed as a mental one? I know a little about autism but not much) I thought autism is something to do with a chemical imbalance in the brain or is that ADHD?

      Thanks for BA hun! If you ever wanna talk, feel free to add :)

    • Ha! It is a mental one, and actually ADHD are opposite ends of the same spectrum :)

What Guys Said 4

  • To be painfully honest, its very unlikely I would pursue anyone in that position. My plans for the future (a farm, small wind generator business, hvac business) would require not only a great deal of my time but help from my significant other as well. On top of that, if we ever had kids, I'd have to raise the kids on top taking care of her and trying to keep money coming in.

    It might sound cruel, but I do have an enormous amount of empathy for people in that situation.

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    • same here , honesty is the best policy :)

    • It's not always someone you have to take care of all the time, and disabled doesn't mean incapable. Some people with Aspergers are able to completely function in normal society, and some with more autistic cases have some extra trouble, but even very heavily autistic people can work, and do their job well, with guidance.

  • I could date someone with aspergers. I have a friend with aspergers and we get along great.

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  • That would be tuff for a long term relationship. Having an emotional support of someone who has the ability to truly under stand empathy. However, It can breed a great relationship if both people are both very healthy.

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    • Also no, I think you shouldn't tell them that you have Autism, many people do not understand what that is, and its not a STD. Once you get to know the person a little more and you feel like it should be a relationship, than maybe you should tell them. However for someone like yourself if you notice the guy is very sensitive crying a lot, maybe angry a lot. I think this would not be a good partner for you. If time passes then tell

    • You can't -not- tell someone if you're an aspie or if you're autistic. It's like not telling someone you're transgender, or saying you have brown hair when it's red. You can't have a relationship based on lies, and if the other person doesn't know you have it, they won't be able to react to the things that they will need to be able to.

    • How would that be a lie? I'm not saying its something you forever withhold from them but giving someone all the negatives and information about yourself is a BAD idea period! If I had a STD, I wouldn't SAY that on the first date! I would say it if I planed on wanting to have sex with that person. There is a time for everything and to early is BAD, let them know you for before telling them the negatives

  • i see absolutely no problem with that what so ever

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What Girls Said 2

  • No.

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  • It depends on what disability they had. I'm impaired too, but I'd be fine with the wheelchair-bound or people with aspergers, but not blind people, because communication would be too hard. D:

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    • One of my very best friends is deaf, but he is a fantastic person and he would be a really great boyfriend, but I think people pass over him for the same reason "Communication would be too hard"

      I think it just means a little extra effort, and if you really care about the person a little extra effort doesn't mean much. He can read and write just fine after all so even if you didn't know sign language a pen and paper get the point across.

    • Lol, I *am* deaf. That's why a blind person would be too much for me. :)

    • Ha! Yes I can definitely see how that would be pretty difficult :)

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