Would this text upset her? or you?

To make a long story short (like always lol), I've been seeing this girl (both of us 20) for about two months, this after let's be friends first/take things slow, and I've taken her out just as friends once a week since she lives about an hour away, we've both had fun, and to my delight she's initiated flirting, holding hands, and long hugs at the end of the last meet. I thought I'm so glad she actually meant that "talk". well I went on vacation for five days, told her, she said be thinking of you, didn't respond since went to sleep but I had told her how id be thinking of her in person earlier so that's why. didn't want to seem clingy so I didn't message her during trip, came back and called nxt day, no answer. so I msgd couple days later, called just to hear how you were, hope everythings doing good. she replied sorry, was at store, been busy lately. after this I didn't want to exaggerate things it but I couldn't help but think she doesn't even have time to say hi, how you doing, how was trip etc. so I reply something along these lines: "yeah I understand, good luck taking care of all that, even the freshmen college brother" (she mentioned she'd been takin care of him, him living at home not like medically).

i don't know if not message more after her showing more affection was mistake, if I upset her with that text. but also confused if she's genuinely busy, upset with me, or just not interested anymore. Haven't gotten a reply for almost a week...

so my question is would that kind of answer upset her? I didn't mean any part sarcastically, I really care for her and always eager to hear what's going on with her life, just at the moment I felt like I was doing too much and putting in too much effort, I do all the initializing in conversations we have. should I text her soon? wait for her to get back at me when she's not that busy? or move on since she might have lost interest?

Thanks for any opinions, anything that gives me a different perspective is what I'm after :)


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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think I would've taken it personally, but it depends on the girl. A lot of times, if I know a guy is busy (like you being on vacation) I feel like I'm bothering him if I text too much or respond with lengthy texts.

    If you still don't hear from you her, shoot her a "hey stranger" text and see how she responds. You haven't heard from her in a week, but she could be thinking the same thing about you..

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    • yeah makes sense, id think the same too if she was on a trip so I really wasn't even expecting her to text/call during it, I'm just confused as to why she's gotten cold afterward since when I left we were in what I thought were great terms, and I'm wondering maybe if I should have been the one to send her a msg. I'm also thinking of saying something like you said, but do you think she isn't interested or wasn't even in the first place like browolf is saying? and thanks for reading the novel haha..

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    • I can't help but think positively in every situation I encounter, and the people I enjoy talking with are those who exhibit the same positive energy. So thanks so much for your opinion and advice, I appreciate it and I'm definitely thinking of keeping contact with her, regardless of the outcome because she is a great person and a good friend. cheers!

    • Same here! Everythings better with positivity. You're quite welcome, and good luck! : )

What Guys Said 1

  • The whole lets be friends first/take it slow is a surefire sign she wasn't majorly into you in the beginning. Maybe she hoped you'd grow on her or you'd do something to spark her interest. Either way actually taking it slow was a a mistake on your part. You should have attempted to ramp it up at least by a month. Clearly she's just not that into you. What you're after isn't going to happen. Yes she lost interest over your vacation but it wasn't very strong to begin with.

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    • wait you're saying I should have ignored the take it slow and sped things up, am I reading that right?

    • Slow for a bit and then start pushing again. You're the guy you're supposed to do the initiating.

    • yeah I had initiated mostly everything. and actually that's exactly what I did, took it slow after the talk, then pushed again which is where I talk about what I did in the beginning.

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