I don't understand why he kissed me after he ended things?

There's this guy that I met my freshman year of college (last year) and he is a senior. We ended up hanging out a lot before Christmas break, nothing more than friends. Never ever thought he was the type of guy I would fall for. Then, it became obvious by his actions and words and by his friends that he had feelings for me during the month of January. Months went by and we still hung out as friends and I went through a really tough time for a few months during spring. He told me that he liked me and I started to have some feelings for him but not a lot. I was his first kiss, first girl he ever held hands with etc.. he had never had a girlfriend before and I thought that was absolutely precious and thought that I would be the one in control of my emotions because I never thought he would end things. A few months into summer we continued spending time together, kissing, going on dates etc and then because I got scared of my feelings I went on a double date with a really good friend of mine and her boyfriend. Because I always tell him what I'm up to he could tell that I wasn't telling him something. He got it out of me and said, "I don't know what to say." I felt so bad and for the first time I realized how much I really cared about him and my feelings grew stronger. I began to let my guard down with him and allowed myself to feel. (I have this wall up because I got my heart broken in the past). Finally, we hung out once after that and then I went to Dallas, Texas for work. I was dying to know where we stood as a couple. He texted me and wanted some time to think about how he was going to word things. We weren't able to talk over the phone because I have been so busy with my new business and we usually talk one on one but this is the only way we could communicate. He said that because I went out with that guy he thought things weren't really working and then he doesn't know where he's going to be geographically in the next few years -- and again, remember he is a gentleman. He was trying to be as gracious as he could with my heart but this killed me. He said we have different passions etc etc.. So he said it sucks for him too but he still wants to be good friends and that he loves spending time with me. But then I saw him once I got back from Dallas as friends. We hungout all day and we treated each other the same as we always did. Lots of laughing, joking around (we built a strong friendship, it wasn't always intimate). Then, that night I was laying down by him on the couch and he was sitting. We were watching a movie and when it got done I continued to lay there. He's not the type of person who would just do what he's about to do. He starts massaging my back for like 20 minutes and then I turned around. He picked me up and starting kissing me really passionately (makes me cry thinking about it). I didn't hesitate to kiss him back. We madeout for 30 minutes and then I said I needed to go home. We haven't talked about this since. Why did he kiss me?

Updates:
He's not pursuing me as much as he used to either. I'm just confused. Why would he kiss me if he's not going to date me

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Its really clear that He still likes you and cares a lot about you. The massage alone was a clue as to what would be going on next. He wanted for you to be relaxed and enjoy the moment and make it very special for the both of you. You gotta ask him. He did it in his own way to show that he cares about you. IF he was a player he wouldn't talk to you peroid. Maybe he felt hurt when you said that you wanted to go home. You should try and talk to him and see how things are and where you stand. To me. This guy truly cares about you.

    I hope this helps in some way and the best of luck to ya. You seem like a really sweet girl and You deserve the best. Try to hangout with him again and see what happens.

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    • Thank you, you seem very genuine. I will just hangout with him again and if I can weave it into the conversation to ask him why he did that. I know that he cares a lot about me because when I went through that really tough time in the spring he always took me on walks and wanted me to vent to him and still wants me to do that. He took time to get me flowers, smoothies, etc. Very sweet guy and he has a really good heart. Any advice on how to approach the conversation without pushing him away?

    • Well lets see. You know him better than I do right? So just start a conversations of something that he really enjoys or likes about. Start a conversation that you know he will have to respond to it and just go with the flow. Wish I had a girlfriend to do do all these things too but Around here. Hey you should add me!

What Guys Said 4

  • Why are you even hanging out with an Ex let alone watching a movie late at night with a guy that is your Ex? Don't you have any pride or integrity? If I walk up to you and ask you for $50, are you going to just give it to me because I asked? If I say, "give me your car keys", are you just going to hand them over? And why are you friends with a guy? That's just bad news right there anyway. Guys only become friends with a girl to get sex from her. Men and women really aren't capable of being friends unless the guy is gay or unless it's family. You got a lot of learning to do. He kissed you because he's a man. That's what guys do. He's not a woman. Do you know the difference? He kissed you because he could.

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    • That's not true: guys and girls can be very close friends without having feelings for each other. One of my very best friends is a girl whom I know more than a year, we hang out a lot together, laughing, having fun and sometimes talk about dirty things (but never about us). I have never felt attraction for her even she's an attractive women for some guys.

    • Yeah and you are gay. I said except for gay guys.

  • He kissed you because he still cares about you or he's still attracted to you. You won't know unless you ask him. Most guys will let you know what's going on.

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  • Sorry but to be blint, he hasn't got any feelings for you anymore. He got over you already. He is starting to be a player!

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  • FWB

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What Girls Said 1

  • Haha, yeah you do. He still has feelings, it's black and white.

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    • K, whatcha need to do is : Not let him kiss you. If he ended it, he doesn't still get the benefits of when you were together. He can't have his cake and eat it too. Especially if you want him back, because all that's gonna do is realize that he can have you without actually having you. Which will just be bad for you, because you'll never get him back because he'll like how it is. If you tell him no, he'll either start to pursue you again, say he made a mistake etcetc then you'll kiss and make up

    • OR he'll end it. Which isn't too bad, because that's what he was supposed to do in the first place. You don't make out with friends. Unless you want a 'special' friend?

    • You're right. Thank you

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