Why is it so hard to talk to women?

I just came back from downtown. I went to downtown hoping to get a girl. I have been reading books on how to talk to women. The tips and advices that the authors give are reasonable and they make sense. While I read the tips, I visualized myself using these tips and talking to girls. However, when I am in the real world its different. I find it so hard to approach random women because I really don't know what to say to them because they are complete strangers. I hate this; why is this so hard? Why do I have trouble speaking to women?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not hard.

    It's hard for you because you're placing too much pressure on yourself by hoping to get a girl. You're not trying to talk to women but trying to get a girl big difference.

    Plus you're not treating girls as human beings but some kid of experiment to use tips & advice on from most likely pua books.

    Then there's the stranger aspect some people don't have an issue introducing themselves to strangers apparently you do.

    Start talking to women just to talk to people and make conversation.

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What Girls Said 1

  • i think you're overthinking everything. just do it! look at the woman and approach her. don't think anything other than I wish to talk. then just talk to her like you talk to anyone. it will be awkward at first but you'll get over it...

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What Guys Said 6

  • You overthink it, and perhaps are trying too hard.

    Go downtown tomorrow.

    Say hi to 5 attractive women. You don't need to have a conversation (yet). If one happens, great. If they just say hi, great. If they tell you to F-off, that says more about them then anything else.

    Get comfortable saying Hi.

    Then worry about sustaining conversation.

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  • Forget about those books, they are about manipulation. And you don't want that.

    Be honest and friendly. Forget pickup lines. They more often than not come across as insecure. Say "hi". Don't expect a conversation. Just be nice about it. Nothing wrong with starting a friendly conversation without expectations though.

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    • And oh boy why do I even have to stress that: If you are not welcome, excuse yourself politely (you never know who's listening).

  • I can understand and relate to how you feel.

    The thing is that you need to look at women as equals rather than something to be sought after and obtained. As someone mentioned, you are putting pressure on yourself towards an expectation without learning how to become comfortable with yourself as a person, looking at women as a person just like you that is imperfect and has their own set of daily problems.

    I'm shy with women myself and I'm struggling to overcome it, but what helps me to lay off the pressure and expectations and to just have fun.

    Books and stuff are good on learning insight about women, but you will learn more about women from women themselves.

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  • Just be friendly:) like you would with someone your not attracted to, 'friendship first' is the best way to eventually getting into a relationship. If you don't get with her, she might introduce you to her friend or cousin or sister or roommate , and you might get with someone else, let things happen naturally:)

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  • Use the internet Luke.. Use the internet!

    I searcht online for local girls, found one with a description of her interests same as mine.

    Chatted with a reason. Met.. Dated... And now I have an awesome gf!

    internet is a good way if your Shy

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  • I totally hear you on this. I'm at a total lose as how to approach women. People say," Just go up and say hi," but that is easier said than done.

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