Online dating is a joke and scam I believe, anyone agree?

I recently joined an online dating site and I am a nice looking guy with good job and have a lot going on. I have not had any contacts in like a week and I contacted many females and no one has replies. They must think awfully high of themselves and are stuck up or something. I mean what gives. I mean some reply but then when I suggest meeting up for a drink or whatever they vanish. I mean what do women expect these days. Just because I am not a doctor and make six figures is that a deal breaker. Women seem so superficial these days. I mean am I right or what.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • link Read this and enlighten yourself

    When Match purchased okCupid they took this article down. It's only an image of the original article.

    If you're wondering... behind the subscriber wall only one person is actually capable of writing you back.

    Btw... okCupid is still free. But that doesn't mean a lot of the problems in the article don't apply to it.

    My suggestions

    Message girls who have recently joined

    Message girls who are average or below average in looks, or with lousy photos

    Message girls whose response rate is not in the red

    Keep your message short... teasing... and write something that says you read their profile... stand out with some effort but not too much since she probably won't respond

    Get a really good photo of yourself

    That is how you get replies.

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    • Well that explains why OkCupid has not done well for me either. At least it's free, that makes it a better deal then it's new owners.

What Girls Said 5

  • online dating sucks.

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  • sort of

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  • maybe you're just overestimating how attractive you are

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    • no it ain't that I'm not even getting avg looking girls responding. I mean wtf

    • In agreement with QA -- no average looking girls responding either.

  • I am actually dating a guy who I met online and we've been together for over 6 months already. Online dating does work if maybe you take it slow instead of pushing meeting people. I was always cautious around guys on the website who just wanted to meet right away or who were very pushy or sounded full of themselves and sadly enough the pictures you post do count towards the total package - whether a girl responds or not. (I personally had trouble taking a guy seriously if he posted a picture of just muscle. I liked profiles where people are doing some sort of activity and not just like their posing in the mirror.) Hopes this helps a little.

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    • Maybe you're one of the few who would give an average guy a chance. I did no bragging or pushing, etc. All photos were of me doing different activities. No staged posing or muscle shots taken with a mirror either. Nothing, not one response.

  • Why do you take it in so personally?

    You should do it with minimal expectations. Just for fun, and if you're lucky you'd find a good match. That's how it goes.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Okay I'm going to try helping a little bit this time. Read this: link

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  • Give us statistics of your message to reply ratio, your profile, what you say in the messages, and statistics of how many women you've hit on offline have dated you. If you don't, I have to ignore your anecdote.

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    • Thanks for making me not write a similar answer. +1

      Also, good job and good looking doesn't mean good guy..

    • Flattery will get you everywhere.

      I also didn't mention that he probably has a shirtless picture on his profile too, since he does here.

  • Let me guess which one it was... Was it Match .com, the so called #1 dating site?

    I just ended a 6mo subscription with them, and I'm completely disappointed! I am also what one could refer to as nice looking, I'm employed, have a lot of cool interests, completed all the stuff on my profile, etc. and yet no responses, whatsoever. After this experience I also share a similar thought about the girls who are using the online dating sites. I think they are shallow gold diggers. (There may be a few decent girls on their, but coming across them is probably rare considering the staggering number of users.) I definitely agree that women seem very superficial these days.

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  • The article Christian linked is very interesting. And consider that one thing it doesn't even mention is that the sites have a big incentive to put up fake profiles of really hot people to draw even more people in.

    So my conclusion would be that online should never be your only option. It may be useful for an aid for at least a month or two, but I would continue to meet people in the "real world" if I were you. Or use a hybrid like speed dating where at least you know the women exist.

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  • I've never done online dating. I would assume that a lot of people on those sites are using it as a shield of sorts. They probably already have social and dating problems. If I were you I would not expect anything from it. If you have the time to invest into it, talk to a girl and build up communication. Talk for a few weeks and then try and get her on a date. If she's flakes, then delete her and take it for its worth (nothing). Don't spend too much time on any one girl and don't get emotional about it at all. Just get to know her like you would chat to someone on here. If you two relate, then maybe meet up and see if it goes anywhere.

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  • online dating works at times I know some people that met online and now they are married so it does work at times.

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