What does this guy want?

There is this guy who has been chasing me for well over a year, until we did the getting drunk and sleeping with each other here and there, and then only a few months ago decided to do it casually. Well it was me that wanted a casual no strings thing. I knew he was a bit of a bad boy and I knew I just wanted sex to get over a guy I was seeing and actually liked who I found out had a girlfriend. Thing is he keeps saying all these things that he shouldn't say if you are having a casual fling! I don't know whether this is just what he does.? Or maybe he's just being nice? And then he'll go cold on me. No contact. Things were going fine, now I don't know what to think.any help people?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes I agree but it takes a lot of work to be nice to a girl we have no feelings for. I would say he is gaining feelings. So on a scale of 1 to 100 wear he should be at a 0 to a 5 he is at a 20. That's why he can pull away. But he is worried that the more he sees you that 20 might become a 30 then 40 then 50. Don't take it badly. His head wants this to be as casual as you do. His heart may have other plans.

    • This is a good insight, I've never thought this is how some guys would think. I may just have to ask him whether he's still okay with this....? Yay or nay?

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What Guys Said 2

  • Are you sure you don't have any feelings for this guy? I may be reading in between the lines but it sounds like you might

    • Hmm ...I thought I did have feelings for him a while ago because I was thinking about him more and then I realised that I was really only thinking of having sex. then I thought about having a relationship with him and realised I rarely want to talk to him anyway, nothing in common. I can't fall for him if I don't know him. There is something there don't get me wrong, otherwise I wouldn't be sleeping with him, but as far as taking it to next level I just don't see it.

  • Feelings happen weather you like it or not. It sounds like he is getting feelings for you but at the same time wants it to be casual. But if he is falling for you there realy isn't an off switch he can pull to shut down his feelings even though that would be more convenient. It may be coverd with ice but even bad boys have hearts.

    • Do you not think he is just being nice? To keep me sweet? Even though this is a casual thing he can just be a nice person and its just me reading too much into things. I mean if he does like me surely he would just say! What's the worst that could happen? I'll stop it and he won't have to get hurt. Not all guys in casual relationships treat there casual girl like crap surely?

What Girls Said 1

  • You are playing a very scary game that could backfire very badly for you! Be careful

    • As in I could get hurt, or I'll hurt him or both!?

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    • It is quite possible that he is falling for you. It's easy to say we are just going to be FWBs but its very easy for emotions to take control. I know that if I am sleeping with a guy on a regular basis I have got to have some pretty strong feelings for him. I think it would be very easy for the both of you to get hurt out of this. Like I said be careful

    • Ok its back to normal now. We are still FWB. Am thinking I am only over analyising everything. I mean I think he is just being nice when he says stuff, better than being a complete wank to someone you want to shag. SO we shall see how what happens over christmas and new year...because this is when things can get out of hand!