Do you ever get over your first real love?

Is it the same for both men and women? How is it different?

Say you break up with your first true love, your young. 18 and 19. You had an amazing relationship for the most part but in the end one of you just decided that it was for the best to break up. Do either of them really ever get over it? Is there a chance of getting back together at some point?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't really think anyone truly gets over their first true love, they always seem to be in the back of your mind, residual feelings seem to linger. You might be in another wonderful relationship, you might be focusing on your career or you might be travelling the world or who knows what else... but there are days when they will cross your mind, maybe just randomly or because something reminded you of them, and you will remember the good and bad times you've shared, their face, words they said, things they loved, the way they looked at you... and you will think 'what if...' 'where are they now?' and maybe even 'if only...'

    With other loves, people will usually look back and be glad or relieved that relationship is over, even if it was a good one, but they never haunt you as your first love does.

    Can you get back together one day? I've heard a number of stories about it happening through a combination of chance and different circumstances. Perhaps some people will say it's fate and that it is meant to be if that happens. You never know what's coming for you in life afterall... so who knows.


What Guys Said 3

  • I can only talk from my own experience; when I was 8 I lost my mom so by the time I was a young man in my early teens I was already 5'11" blond hair and blue eyes and dimples and more than ready for a woman in my life. By the time my sixteenth birthday rolled around I was in love with one of those sexy-crazy redheads that just happened to be a deacon's daughter. Well she had me wrapped around her little finger and pretty soon I was madly in love and she was being pushed by her crazy friends to go live the wild life so she broke up; and I still think about her, I did earlier today. But I see it now as a lesson that taught me to wake up and demand more from my partners because it's my own heart that will suffer in the end if I don't. Today I use GOD's Check list to see if they even qualify to date me, because I'm 100% loyal that's worth a lot, I don't have diseases because I don't mess around like that, and the list goes on. Most importantly is she has to LOVE AND RESPECT GOD as much as I do, and she has to be willing to love me the way my first love never did ! *PS. She realized what she lost and tried to get me back, but I wasn't foolish enough to take her back because by that time I was mature enough to see right through her and wasn't falling for her games.

  • there's a chance of getting back together, but only you know if that's best in your life.

    everyone defines "getting over someone" differently: when you don't expect they'll want to get back with you, or when you're able to commit to a new relationship, or when you're no longer angry (if it was a bad breakup) or sad.

    your first love's always different, though, and you'll always remember them in a different way than other relationships.

  • First real love is remembered forever.

    It doesn't matter are you girl or a boy.


What Girls Said 9

  • It takes time, but eventually you get to a point where you don't miss that person anymore and it's w/e you can fully love someone else.

    However, if you guys had a mutual break up, there may be residual feelings and you two could hook up again. I think it's important to make the decision clear though. People often end up being victims of rebound because of individuals who aren't over their first love or previous relationship, and in that latter regard, I would deem that unfair :*)

  • Yeah, I got over my first, second and third love eventually. :-) I think it's easier once you know it is really over.

  • You do get over it. It takes lots of time & tears but you'll eventually get over it, there's always that special someone who comes along life to heel your brokenheart time. No matter how it endedd you'll think of your firts love now and then.

  • Well, I guess everyone is different, but I never really got over my first love. Here's my story:

    Freshmen year in high school this guy asked me out and I didn't want to date him, so my friend made up a lie and told him I had a boyfriend (I know bad), Well I felt guilty about it and so the following monday I told him I didn't have a boyfriend, so we started dating (giving him a chance). Then we dated for 5 months, I fell in love with him. Then I broke up with him because of something that happened. But I still had feelings for him. I dated someone else and we broke up, then I went back to him and we broke up again. So I dated other people and then this past school year (end of junior year) I saw him and he called me that day and we started talking and now I'm in my senior year and me and him have been dating for over six months and look at my status- engaged. I went through all that trouble just to end up back to my first love. And its great.

    Hope this helps some!

  • I think that noone ever truly gets over their first real love. I was only with my first love for 6 months, but I fell hard. But it became to the point where too many people got involved and I didn't know who to believe so we ended it. Weve been on and off friends since than and every now and than I still miss him. He still occasionally tells me how ill always be his first love and he'll always be there for me, but I think that's what messes with my mind more than anything. I've been with my current boyfriend for almost 2 years, & still don't understand why my ex is on my mind every now and than. I feel like you never completely forget them, but you can move on and realize it's for the better in the end.

    • Its not for the better cause every relationship is the same.

  • Well my story is kind of long so I'm going to be brief. Well I met this guy in Middle of course at that age I wasn't into guys I just wanted to be with my friends and well there was this girl who had a crush on him shortly after we became friends and we were in class one day and he thought we were fighting over him so I told him that he wasn't busted which he was and that I would never end up with him I guess it bit me in the butt a few years alter so this girl wasn't really attractive but when we got tp highschool I bothered him about this same girl and she became a lesbian and dropped out of school and I didn't notice he had transferred to another highschool until I graduated and went to college.The first day of school I was waiting with my best friends and so of our friends for their class to start when I notice him it was like I was seeing a fuly developed young man completely different from the last time I had seen him. We hit it off immediately we lasted 6 almost 7 months and we had our fights due to our family and friends getting involved it was a very troubled relationship we spent more time fixing it than enjoying it and it took us both awhile to get over the pain but me til this day I'm not over him no matter what I do it doesn't seem to happen and to make matters worse my current boyfriend went ot the highschool he transferred to and two months after we broke up they had gotten into an accident go figure. The day I met my boyfriend at our church my ex had appeared to see me and of course I went to see him a week later it was my 21st bday I had invited my ex and that was a mistake but well what could I do? That sunday I see my current and well soon after we would talk but I still had feelings for my ex until that same sunday I foundout my ex had started going out with another girl so I rushed in to my current and been with him for the past three years and knowing that my ex and something to do with my boyfriend being in the chiropractic and that he hurt me soo much doesn't help and that they were once friends either. Oh did I mention he's engaged to a girl he met in May and proposed to her in October? it only took five months for him to propose to her .Basically I think it depends on the relationship and though he told me I was special to him he is as well to me but I haven't tried telling him anything ever since last year on my bday when he called me which I realized was because he was having problems with his ex (the girl before this one) He told me he was over me but something tells me he still has me on the back of his head just not as strong.

  • well I was much younger but no, I've never gotten over my first love. lucky for me he moved FAR away for 5 years but now he's back and I find that I do still have feelingsfor him

  • "Getting over" isn't the same as "not thinking about someone". I would define "getting over" as when you can fully love someone else again, but that doesn't mean you can't or won't ever think of your ex again. First relationships are always special but they may not always be the most special one.

    If you are young, there's definitely a chance of getting back together. Even if you are older than 18-19, there is still hope. As long as you don't dwell on it or just wait for him / her, you'll be fine. =)