She (19) had a son and he passed away at 10 months old. She brings him up a lot and that bothers me. How do I know that she is emotionally ready for a relationship? Should I be worried?
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I'm going to be honest, I think you are being selfish here. This woman lost a child, her own flesh and blood.
I will assume you are not a parent. Now does that change things a bit? Yes, not much, but yes. You may have had a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or other family member die, but not a child, so you can't see things completely empathize with this woman. However, like I said, this was her own flesh and blood. It's one thing to work towards a career, academic, or personal goal and have it not work out, but when it's a child, it's a different story. I agree with AltTech when he says that indifference towards her child's death would be the truly bothersome issue. Five months may seem like a long time for you, but for a woman who's lost her baby boy, it's only the beginning. You cannot put a timetable on human suffering.
I can sort of see your logic on the "toxic" relationship, though I would greatly hesitate to use that terminology. Keep in mind, though, the love between man and woman and the love between mother and child are not the same. This is a void that you CANNOT fill. The more logical fear would be "is she going to get me to have sex with her so she can have another baby", BUT I don't think that's the case here.
So what do you do? If you really care about her, you will stop being selfish, put your hopes for this aside for the time being, and be there for her as a friendly support. She's not thinking about "I want a new boyfriend now". She's thinking about "I want my little baby back".0