Online dating, creepy? thoughts and feelings?

is online dating okay? how do you avoid creepy people? how do you keep it safe?

  • Online dating is a bad idea in this day and age
    0% (0)25% (2)11% (2)Vote
  • Online dating works, why not try it!
    100% (11)75% (6)89% (17)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's fine.

    Here are some tips:

    1. Take the time to chat with the person for a bit and get a feel for them before agreeing to meet them in person. Pay attention if anything they say might seem a bit "off".

    2. Webcam, if you can. This is a good way to see if a person really is who they say they are, if their pictures are up-to-date, etc.

    3. Meet in a public place, let someone know where you're going, etc.

    4. Keep in mind that there are "creepy" people offline too. You may end up going on a date with someone who is a creep even if you didn't meet them initially online. Conduct yourself in the same way you would any other date (i.e. maybe it's not the best idea to go home with someone you don't know after your date).

    I've met countless people online in person (mainly as friends, but a few dates as well). I've never had any bad experiences and most people are pretty normal, even if I didn't necessarily "connect" with them. Sure, there is a small risk that you might run into some trouble, but I think the risk is exaggerated by the media. The majority of people online aren't "predators", they're just regular people (and as I mentioned, even people you meet in person could potentially be bad people).

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    • Definitely do #2 I'd say that is very important.

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    • Yeah, the chat that I use(d) is IRC (internet relay chat). While it was fairly popular in it's day, it's pretty obscure now and it isn't as "user-friendly" as most people want/need.

    • lol okay, why not.. haha

What Guys Said 6

  • Good people get discouraged from dating sites. Women get bombarded by messages from horny retards. Hey baby, wanna cam? and stuff like that. So here is what the typical man goes through.

    Looks at some of the profiles. Decides to join. Signs up to find out that it is free to women but men have to pay. Says "WTF!" and then decides it might be worth it. He spends all day looking for the perfect mate. Finds her profile, notices she replies often, so he tailors his message to her. I like horses too, and walks on the beach, etc.

    Hmm, she hasn't responded though it shows she has read it. What does the gold border around her profile mean? I'll check out FAQ while I'm waiting. Hmm, a gold member. In reality, it is some person who is paid money just to put up a profile (fake or real) to entice others to join the site. They are just the eye candy to get the guys with money in the door.

    Well, the site has to have some good people on it. So he checks the matches again. Finds a few that aren't exactly what he is looking for. Maybe they will have a killer personality. He tailors each one and sends them. The game of statistical probability begins.

    The time spent on one message vs the probability that a response will occur. So he decides to increase how many women he contacts. After a few hours and no responses, he decides to spend a little less time on each message. Quantity over quality. 100 e-mail messages, 40 actually look at his profile, only 3 message back, one holds a conversation well but doesn't get past deal breakers. Why start a relationship if she doesn't want kids but I do, right?

    Repeat and fire again. If a decent woman got his message at this point, it seems like it is a lifeless recording. He may have even cut the whole message from the previous girl by mistake.

    Christina,

    Jenny,

    I saw your profile...

    You get where I am going with this. Online dating sucks and it gets worse the older you get. So you want to meet someone? Ever wonder why it was easy getting a date growing up? Some hottie that caught your eye while walking down the hall at school? You have known them for years and something triggered an emotional response?

    You got to know them over time but your age keeps growing as a mortal reminder of impending doom. So what if you decided to hang out with friends of friends? You can already get the inside scoop from your buds and it won't feel awkward. Gives you a chance to get to know them without expectations. They can even relax and be real instead of trying to impress you.

    Sure you risk being stuck in the friend zone but if they are a great person, why not have a great friend? So my advice, long story short... don't do the online dating thing. People want to find the perfect person by the click of a mouse and it just won't happen. Go hang out with friends and network. That may even help out later when you need to find a new job.

    Facebook, Google+, and others help you branch out. Also do similar activities w/friends

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    • lol wow. that was a lot. so basically you think online dating is a waste of time? I go to an all girls college. I don't know how to just walk up to guys and get a date. doesn't happen that way. I guess networking is alright, but I don't even know a lot of people that know that many guys!

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    • whhaatt that's awesome. that is so more what I want haha. thank you!

    • lol that's so true. +1.

  • My only reservation about it is that I feel like I'd be "shopping".

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    • huh yeah. idk. not sure...

  • It works fine if you're cautious about it because there are creeps out there that might be lying and just trying to get into your pants even if it means violating you :\ but ya, time and caution and making sure if you meet them that a friend is with you is best.

    But it can work fine. As long as there is love, trust, and communication it'll be fine. But do try and get together physically. Not sexually, just in physical distance of each other to actually talk face to face and go out and do stuff together. Else you'll never have a real strong relationship.

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    • oh I definitely agree.

  • I think it's crap, but that's because girls don't answer. I felt so good from that... Anyway it's not creepy as long as you avoid certain sites that are kinda shady like plenty of fish.

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  • My brother met his wife of 6 years on an online dating service. I've never done it myself though.

    You can stay safe by approaching it with a guarded mentality. Only meet the people in person you believe aren't creepers.

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    • hmmm okay. I don't want to get kidnapped or something lol.

  • Complete waste of time

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    • haha really, how come?

What Girls Said 6

  • is online dating okay? Yes. If done safely and for the right reasons.

    Safely-

    don't let strangers into your house or go into their house.

    tell others where you're going.

    get a picture first.

    video chat if possible.

    Right reasons- don't fate if

    you're looking for a father figure,

    you need a void filled in you life

    you think love will solve all your problems

    you have issues you need to work on that will be baggage to any partner you have

    you're looking to financially exploit a guy

    you're looking for a sperm donor to use then trash

    how do you avoid creepy people? You can't avoid creepy people. There will always be people who make you uncomfortable.

    Sadly because you're a girl if that person is a guy he'll dismiss you calling him creepy as you think he's unattractive because to most guys if he doesn't think he's creepy you have no right to feel creeped out.

    how do you keep it safe? common sense, basic internet safety rules, and don't trust men who haven't earned it

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    • lol sounds good. very very true!

  • I've been online dating for a while. In my world it's extremely hard meeting new people. All of my friends are married or engaged which makes it hard to get out. I hold two jobs and in school. I have a 7 year old daughter. So where am I supposed to meet people? You need to use caution of course but my last relationship evolved from online dating and he was a great person. I talk with someone for a while by email, then exchange numbers. Talking on the phone can either make or break it. After a few phone calls arrange for a SHORT meeting in a PUBLIC place. Grab a coffee or meet for a drink. Never let anyone know where you live immediately and that advice goes for any type of dating!

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    • very very good point! thanks so much!

  • Its never actually been successful when I've done it, so I don't bother with it anymore- but it is possible for it to work out so it can't hurt to try :)

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  • online dating ? I don't think its a good choice .. because you may be suprised with a person who u'll meet later ..

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  • it's not bad, just don't give your address out :o

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  • not creepy. just another way to meet people outside your usual circle

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    • haha OK, I think I might try it?

    • go for it.

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