Why can't I find a boyfriend?

Everyone else (friends, etc..) have bf's, except for me!

What am I doing wrong?

I am really desperate right now :D

Updates:
I think I'm gonna end up alone my whole life :(
Damn...i didn't expect a profile picture would be such a big deal :S

and no, I'm not a lesbian...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm trying to think of a good reason but I can't. Getting a boyfriends all about luck. Being in the right place at the right time, knowing the right person to know the right person to bring you there to meet the right people to meet the right person, etc. etc. etc. to meet JUST the right person at JUST the right time and either they ask you out or you ask them out and they agree. You can follow the cause and effect right back to something that has absolutely no relevance to your boyfriend - I met my lover because someone I didn't know added me on Facebook the previous year. It was probably to do with my picture or something I had written on my profile. There was no way to predict that that person would pick up on it and add me; it was just impeccable luck.

    So... Think of various cause and effect strings, and go do things that are at the start of that string. If you don't get a boyfriend right now, your life will at least take a very interesting turn, and you'll learn a lot. Don't be too concerned about getting a boyfriend though - want it, but don't be concerned. You've got friends at least.

    Thats really bad advice by the way - I just spent two paragraphs saying 'Go do things'. But I think its among the best you're going to get, because there really is very little to be said for it.

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What Guys Said 35

  • You are either:

    1. Having high standards about things that don't matter:

    I noticed you immediately said no to a guy who asked to meet you in real life. You declined because you don't like meeting people off the Internet. In this same way, you could have other things you don't like, such as always wanting the guy to make the first move, only liking certain kinds of guys, etc. You have to get off your high horse and really ask yourself WHY you don't like certain things. Some of them are justified, but I have no sympathy at all for people who have something against getting to know someone online. It immediately let's me know exactly how ignorant they are. But hey, I guess ignorant girls need boyfriends too, so let's move on.

    2. Always waiting for guys to make the first move:

    If this is your case, then you're in the same situation as a lot of girls who believe that they have THE RIGHT to just sit on their ass and let the guy do all the work. And hey, who am I to tell you not to do this? Here's what I CAN tell you - if you want a guy, and he's not asking you out, you don't get to cry and/or complain about how you can't get a boyfriend. Because you're not even trying. You're waiting for a miracle to happen. And just because it happens to some girls, doesn't mean you should be counting on it to happen with you.

    3. Not making yourself attractive enough:

    This means you dress unattractively. You avoid showing yourself off. You don't want to look pretty. I hate to say this, but... oh wait - no I don't. If you don't at least TRY to look pretty, over 90% of guys aren't going to be interested in you, unless you win them over with your personality (which involves you making the first move). If you're one of those girls who thinks you shouldn't have to be pretty in order to win a guy, then you seriously need to grow up along with the rest of those twats.

    4. You're waiting for THE PERFECT GUY:

    You've seen movies and tell yourself you want a guy just like Noah from The Notebook, and you constantly ditch guys the moment you find out they aren't like that. This sort of links in with the first point, but it's different. I'm gonna tell it to you here - guys like that don't exist. Nobody is perfect, so stop looking for someone perfect and learn to accept people even though they aren't EVERYTHING you've ever wanted. If you don't learn how to do this, you will end up dumping one guy after the other and in the end you will have no one. In the end, ALL of us has to settle.

    Basically speaking, you need to:

    -stop being so picky about how you meet people

    -take some risks, approach guys you're interested in and start talking to them

    -take care of yourself, wear attractive clothing and try being as pretty as you can

    -realize that everyone you meet is going to have things about them that you don't really like

    Good luck to you.

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    • Ok this is just kinda off topic, but why is everyone obsessed with Noah from the Notebook? I know everyone says he's good looking and perfect, but he also slept with another woman while she was gone and then he hurt that woman when he went back to his love. So why are people so fixed on him?

    • I've met countless girls who say they love that movie and want nothing but to find a guy just like that. I used him just as an example though, so you can get off my ass already. I was going to use Edward from Twilight, or one of the Pride and Prejudice guys, or... whatever other chick flick rocks your freakin' boat - my point is still the same. Girls are constantly looking for a guy they read in a book or saw in a movie, without realizing that they don't exist.

  • Desperation will end up hurting you more than if you stay single for some time. I didn't date until just recently at age 23. Be patient, and don't force relationships. You may not be doing anything wrong, but you may just not have met the right person for you yet. If you try too hard for a relationship, someone will see how desperate you are, and end up using you, just to toss you away and further your pain. Be friendly, be open minded, but above all, be patient. Make new friends, and eventually you will find someone.

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  • If you compare yourself to others, you will not ever be happy.

    If you find yourself wanting, you will not ever have what you are lacking.

    Appreciate what you have, people, talents and your flaws.

    Love yourself. Give love, because it's the excess of appreciation and love that attracts.

    And, simply be you. Yes, a cliché quote, but if you can't be yourself all the time, who are you?

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  • Are you putting yourself out there? Guys can't meet you if they can't find you.

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  • You have to rule out if you're physically unattractive; most likely you're not.

    Then learn to flirt discretely and well.

    Most like you won't need to flirt well for most guys cause your looks will be enough.

    Wear clothes that are suggestive but tasteful; suggestive but tasteful is crucial, you have to allude your sexuality don't frankly state it.

    Make yourself approachable, approach a girl who is in a pack of girls is more difficult than approaching a single girl; less chance for humilitaion if she says no.

    Dress to impress, ask yourself if you'd want to f***/date you.

    Put yourself in locations where you will find the type of guys you're attracted to, libraries for smart.studious guys, clubs for guys that like to party, the beach/gym for fit guys.

    Remember confidence, smile laugh love life and remember no matter what you're a beautiful person, this doesn't in anyway determine your worth or physical attractiveness, a lot of the time, guys can be shy to approach you cause we elevate the girl to this unattainable level.

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  • hmm just try not giving a crap, I usually find by not giving a damn that girls will naturally come to me which they do. I think when we try really hard it ends up bad... don't know if I was any help lmaoo

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    • Yes, your answer is helpful. Thx :)

  • Confidence is the key, without it no one will really respect you, trust me I know the feeling. Love yourself first before others can love you.

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  • you just play hard to get. Hard to get almot never works. People end up together not because some girl made some guy desperate for her affection, but because these people met up, got together, got to to know each other and liked what they offered physically but most importantly what was inside.

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  • even though this doesn't matter but... you can start off by changing that picture (not to be rude)

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    • Somehow... I don't think her choice of display picture on an obscure question-answer site is going to be a *great* start on her quest for courtship

    • yeah but it's two girls kissing & she's asking why she can't get a boyfriend...it's like, "duuhhh".

    • yes thank you skyscraper... even though this is not a date site, but if you initiate yourself like that in reality dudes are gonna think you're a lesbian and definitely not show interest in you.

  • When your not looking gor one then he will come so stop looking so hard and he will come around that's what happened to me(except it was a girl lol)

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  • DUDE

    there are worse things in life

    you don't NEED boyfriend

    you do stupid things when you want a boyfriend just for the sake of having a boyfriend cause then you're technically leading him on and that's not cool

    Just take it easy and I bet that the second you start thinking/knowing you don't NEED a boyfriend. You'll find one.

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  • Date me :) I've been lonley all my life : /

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  • You're coming off as desperate (you say so in the question). That's why

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  • Heh Heh! I am not making fun of you..(well maybe a little bit) There is NOTHING wrong with your looks...so unless you are a psychob*tch or a total emotional f***up you will have relationships (yes that is plural) with males. Btw..I have seen no evidence of twisted mental disorders from you yet...but males don't really start dating until the early to mid twenties...oh sure..some do... but when couples start pairing off and getting married, this lights a fire under males' asses and they finally get their thumb out and seriously look for a mate...or at least a gf...Ur day is coming..unless you live in isolation...<3...:D

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  • Hello, I will be your jigglelow for the evening.

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  • i wonder if ill be like that with girls lol

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  • I understand how you feel.

    Im 19 and I've never been in a serious relationship.

    Not that I "need" one. But it would be nice to have

    a emotional connection with a nice girl.

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  • someone will come along. Don't worry about it.

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  • cause guys maybe are afraid of you?

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  • Confidence is key and patience is a virtue. Take your time, don't rush it. If you do, you could wind up in a relationship you don't want to be in. You want something that's happy and healthy. Not the latter.

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  • and why is it okay for girls to be desperate but not for guys?

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  • Ever heard of of saying when your not looking they will find you.

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    • That saying is bulllllllllllllllll SH*T...I'm just saying because I never look and I never have anyone to find me...

    • ^ disagree. They are not kidding when they say you aren't looking. Any instances that I've had, they all happened when I wasn't looking. This also includes not fretting or hanging all over a guy to get his attention.

    • Agree with candlewax...but you also have to be out there...won't meet anyone within the 4 walls of your house...

  • i said I wanted to meet you u said no. you miss opportunities to meet new ppl.

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    • I don't like meeting people from the internet :S

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    • u can say you don't want to meet me but don't say you have meeting people on the internet. I don't know if I can give you any useful advice cause I'm single lol but I think that when it comes to relationships the girl choses the guy, not the other way around. us guys like to think that we choose our girls but its the other way around.

    • Heey I have nothing against you...but I really don't like it ha ha :D

  • Try initiating

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  • ask yourself, y do I need I bf?

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  • Because of your profile picture.

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  • how come women never ask men out?

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  • (Profile Pic) you are a lesbian?

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  • cause you're a lesbian? what's up with your pic?

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  • You sound like a great person. Sounds like we are in the same place. I wanna get a boyfriend so bad but yet can't find nothing and I know I'm attractive. I guess when the time comes it will come.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 17

  • cause you're a lesbian who is desperate to find a guy. (that's all we know about you from your profile+Q)

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    • Yupp you're so right -________-

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    • #f***yea

      seriously tho,we need more info to judge a person

    • Correction: Balkan-chicks are smart!

  • Stop caring. Seriously. I used to have the same issue, and I just stopped giving a damn. That's when everything started coming forward, both welcome AND unwelcome.

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  • are you sure you aren't a lesbian? Your picture kinda suggests it.

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  • I know the feeling but don't let it over power your daily life. Here's a link hope it helps. link

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  • Maybe the right guy just hasn't come along yet. I don't know you at all, so I can't really answer your question. But @ your update, only if you allow that to happen.

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  • You are very beautiful, I'm sure many men would be more than happy to be with you. You just have to get out more most likely.

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  • Stop comparing yourself to other people. Your time will come.

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  • ^^ this is why.

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  • The answer is in the question. You're desperate, & yes, they pick up on that.

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  • we all say that at one point right now. if you don't look, they come to you if you're busy. if you have everything together then maybe try approaching them.

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  • I've waited my whole life to have a boyfriend, and I now have one, so just be patient hun:)

    You'd rather wait, then be sorry afterwards:)

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  • im sure you will find the right guy everybody needs a somebody

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  • Because its not as easy as it seems period...

    If you just want a boyfriend, like any guy I am sure you can manage to get one, you are good looking girl just met Guys and I am sure they will want to be your bf...

    But If you want someone that you are really attracted too not only physically But mentally too then its hard and will take time and luck...

    I rather be Alone than lower My standards. Would you date any of your friends bfs? Because I wouldn't date My friends bfs If they were single...they are with them because they don't want to be Alone and that's just sad...

    So the trick is just met lots of people that the right guy will come around and never be desperate

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  • Maybe cause they think you're lesbian?

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  • Because men most likely think you are a homosexual.

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  • don't be desperate because that shows through and is not attractive. join more activities, get out more, get to know more people

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  • Well, if you find your profile picture an appropriate representation of you or your lifestyle choices, maybe you are trying too hard. I thought it was interesting that you responded to one person that "just because of a picture you think you know me". Obviously your pic doesn't mean you are a lesbian, but it does tell people about you. I mean, really, you picked it. So, I am unclear if maybe you are coming across the same in your personal life, as someone who thinks being provocative will get them a boyfriend.

    So, knowing that people can do things online they would never do in person, I don't know this is true about you, but you would know. Some girls end up being the one guys go to for sex but not for relationships. Or some girls just come across too desperate, trying too hard by dressing or acting provocative when they really aren't and guys can sense that and back away.

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    • soo true :)

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    • This isn't about changing your personality, this would be about fixing a problem. I don't think being needy and desperate is a personality, it is a problem that should be addressed if you want to enter into a healthy relationship, rather than be ignored or used. Again, don't know if this applies to her at all, but posting a pic like that on your profile is telling.

    • Hmm. Well, permit me to disagree.

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