It's hard being an Asian girl looking to date amongst white people.

i find that white guys rarely want to date Asian girls unless she's very pretty (doesn't look asian) or has adapted very well into the white social culture.

my mom tells me that I should move back to my motherland or else I'll be forever alone in the US. It seems that she does make sense as I do not have any American friends, and it seems as if only black, latinos, or other Asians approach me. it sucks more that I am living in an area that's populated with rich white people.

i feel very depressed at times and ask myself why I was born an Asian girl. sometimes I want to die, because I know I'll never live a normal life. even if people don't admit they are racist, I know that ALL people are genetically programmed to be racist.

i know there are tons of Asian girls here in the US that are actually quite popular with white people and have white boyfriends as well...how are they able to adapt so well in American culture? what kind of Asian girls appeal to the American public?

i am plagued with low self esteem and sad thoughts. I am actually getting tension headaches from being sad most of the time.

Updates:
i guess my mom brings me down emotionally the most. she says that I will continue to suffer in loneliness as long as I live in America (and also because the economy is going downhill).

sometimes I really want to kill myself or have plastic surgery so I will look like a white girl.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you are thinking about this incorrectly... guys (regardless of race) rarely want to date girls (regardless of race) that have low self-esteem and sad thoughts. Likewise, girls rarely want to date guys that have low self-esteem and sad thoughts.

    First step is going to be allowing yourself to like who you are. This will help your self-esteem. Go mingle, make friends BUT don't think about your race or anyone else's race.

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    • Is there any guy out there that is willing to put up with depression in a girlfriend? Why do people avoid sad people so much

    • The question comes down to whether you want to be happy or not. What would make you happy? What would help you get away from depression? Think about if you were always this way or if there was a point in life you remember being happy with life in general.

      I think everyone can be depressed by different things in life. Some can fight and work themselves out of the hole and some can't. Which are you going to be?

What Guys Said 8

  • It could be the way you're presenting yourself.

    "Sometimes I really want to kill myself or have plastic surgery so I will look like a white girl."

    That doesn't describe the type of girl ANY guy would want to date.

    Also keep in mind, your depression is self induced. You even said guys approach you all the time.

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    • i never said all the time. I said OCASSIONALLY.

      guys never hit on me. they might approach me if we're taking the same classes or in the same school club. and if on that rare ocassion guys do approach me, they tend to be minorities as well. white guys rarely approach me.

    • Well don't attribute your race to your problems. Asian Females and White males is the most common interracial relationship. In some cases, being Asian actually HELPS you.

      "they tend to be minorities as well"

      ^lol, you're complaining about other people doing the same thing you're doing.

  • i don't find that true my two most favorite girls in the world are Asian (2 of 4)

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  • o.O Okay then...

    All I'm going to say is that I'm attracted to Asian women (I'm seeing one, in fact) and white. So, there...

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  • So many guys like Asian girls!

    I would love to date a Asian girl again, my first girlfriend was Asian.

    Ashlee Chang, ha ha get it Lee Chang? I think its funny.

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  • Come to LA and date me then. Asians = hotness!

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  • Asian girls can be sexy! By the way - the same is about white girls! They HAVE to be pretty!

    If they ain't pretty they won't get hit on just because they are white!

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  • Dating Asians = ok

    Dating depressed, suicidal girls = not ok

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  • You chose the wrong coast to live on. A majority of the Asian community in the US lives on the west coast and there are a ton of Asian girls with white guys here.

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What Girls Said 5

  • You need to remember that your race doesn't make you who you are. You need to respect yourself including embracing how you look. I know a lot of Asian girls who are "plain" looking that date white guys. I also know a lot of white guys who love Asian girls. You should try to meet guys somewhere else. Also try to make friends. Friends are a great way to meet people of the opposite gender that you have the potential to date. Just be yourself and laid back.

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  • I really don't think men date Asian girls purely because they're Asian, it also has a lot to do with their personality, compatibility, etc. You're race doesn't define who you are, and like many of the others who've said it before me - learn to love yourself first to develop a healthier mindset. You sound a lot like you're pining for a guy so you can have an emotional crutch and that won't be a healthy relationship either.

    As for adapting to the culture, get out & make friends. Be open-minded & don't be encumbered by racial prejudices which you may have. Get out of that bubble of yours and be positive!

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  • I think it's your depression or your situation. Guys in general want some girl who is happy so you can do what you can and if dating isn't for you right now, once you get independent then it will be more ideal. but if you're always in a negative situation then things will happen to deter dating. you probably are pretty and you shouldn't be so negative :) maybe it's not the time yet to date and you just have to be patient. I believe you can date but only if you're happy with yourself.

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  • I can relate on the mom thing. The best thing I ever did for myself was when I decided to stop listening to people who make me feel bad (my mom included). Go back to Asia or stay in America, the choice is yours, but don't let your mom bring you down. It is your life, not hers.

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  • I am a waitress in an American city with tons of Asians straight out of Asia (they go to the college here) and I will just say, Asians who haven't adapted to American social customs come off as very rude to Americans. I know a lot of the time they aren't trying to be and it is just cultural differences, but it seems rude to us, so we are put off by it.

    Secondly, I have never seen an Asian girl who didn't have beautiful skin and beautiful hair. Also, all of you (or most I have seen) are very petite, which white guys like. As long as you make an effort in your appearance and dress nicely, you are set. You are so much luckier than girls of other races, you are automatically cute by default and you don't have to put in much effort to look good.

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    • trust me, white guys are not as crazy about Asians as they make it seem like it.

      here in nyc, dating is more competitive and white guys choose white girls. there are not enough good Asian guys to choose from.

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    • Then go after black guys. I guarentee you most black guys would be into an Asian girl who isn't super thin. Also, I know a guy who is Asian and mexican and he is beautiful. You can have beautiful babies with guys who aren't white.

    • Im not into black guys

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