Have I been overbearing?

Basically I met a girl in the last 2 months that has been amazing. She is everything that I ever asked for or wanted, we have the same basic interests, she is beautiful, charming and funny. So I asked her out and it went great! We went on about five dates and things went every well, hugging, flirting, and general affection were present. For about a week strait almost every day we spent the day hanging out with her friends family and just doing things together.

Then It suddenly stopped. During the first week, before we went on any dates, I spoke to her for between 4-8 hours a night on the phone, it was fun and interesting learning about each other and interests ect. That never really ended, we found less to talk about some nights but universally we were always able to come up with new things or new ideas.

Now I know she has just gotten out of a relationship that went very sour, so I know she wants to take anything we end up with extremely slow, however the last few days we have not really spoken much at all, she has been busy with her friend, and she has blown off possible plans with me several times.

I take it with a grain of salt fully realizing that she may just be busy or may just want to hang out with other friends, and I have no issues with that. However I don't want to lose this girl, I and keeping myself in check not calling her or becoming obsessive but truly I like this girl more then any other girl I've met in my life.

So my question comes to this, after a week of being around her showing affection etc have I been overbearing in my affection enough to drive her away? What would make such a radical change from wanting to be around me and talking to me for endless hours and then suddenly hardly talking at all and blowing off plans?

Finally, what should I do now? Wait and pray, or go forth and give something a shot?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would wait a few days and then talk to her about it. She may be feeling overwhelmed because she really likes you and is afraid of getting hurt again so she's trying to sort through her feelings. I wish you the best!

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    • One major issue with all this is that we are going to be around each other all weekend, we are going to a event and I'm driving her and her brother there. What should I do while I'm around her over the weekend?

    • If you have to be around her, just be try to be loose and natural in your behavior. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. Remember, she hasn't told you she is through with you, or left you yet. Just back off for now, and let her sort things out.

What Girls Said 3

  • Wait a week. she'll probably be wondering what happened to you. you don't wanna make yourself too available to her no matter how much you like her.

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  • A lot of people, especially me have this same question. When is it okay to call? You don't want the person to think you don't have a life or you are obsessed with them, however you also don't want to lose them. I am going through this right now (except I haven't been blown off yet b/c I haven't even tried yet.) If I were you wait 2-3 days, this way you will have new material to talk about. I think it's not good to get to know a person too fast, because later you'll have less to "discover." Give it a shot man, if it fails at least you'll know you did everything you could.

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  • Wait a few days. Give her some time to think about things. Wait like a few days or even a week.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Slow down, and give her some space. It sounds like she is a little overwhelmed by it all now. You said she just got out of a relationship, so she may need some more time. Wait another week or so, then call her again. Don't give up on her unless she makes it very clear that she doesn't want anything more to do with you.

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  • At this weekend event I would just find a place to sit and let her decide if she wants to be around you I mean that would be the best thing to do just don't hang on her cause she may have just needed a lot of attention at first coming out of the sour relationship and now that she's with you she wants a lil space cause that's who she is!! A lot of girls don't like to be smothered so let her choose to be around you for a while and take the initiative!! It will work out just have patience!!

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  • Wait a few days, and then reveal your feelings to her. Tell her you miss her. Yes you risk exposing yourself and probably rejected, but it's better than never trying at all.

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