How to be more "approachable"?

I've had guys ask me out before in high school, mostly they were good friends that I had gotten to known but I had a strict "no dating" policy for myself in high school because I don't think most high school relationships last after graduation anyway. Plus I wanted to focus on studying.

Got into college, and I became really good friends with one guy and he asked me out on a few dates, but we never became official because his parents didn't like me (They're super super duper Christian and I'm not religious, that was the reason if you're wondering).

ANYWAY, so it's not like I've had any trouble meeting guys in the past. I actually have more guy friends I hang out with than girls, because of similar interests. Lol, none of them really see me as a girl though. However, with that being said, I'm a VERY VERY feminine girl. I look very feminine, I wear makeup, I wear skirts/dresses occasionally, and I spend the time to maintain my hair, skin, etc.

I've found out that after high school a lot of guys in my class actually wanted to ask me out but were too shy or intimidated by me to do so? They personally told me, like years later that's how they felt and I found it absolutely shocking. I never saw myself as a not down-to earth person, so there should be no reason that I'm not as approachable as they say I'm not. My best friend also told me that I was intimidating and picky about guys, and that's why no guys really want to talk to me. And this is becoming much more prevalent in college, I'm afraid...

I'm a pretty conservative person and I like to keep to myself, but I'll be friendly and talk right back to you if you talk to me, but it's become increasingly difficult for guys to approach me, and even if guys show initial interest (like sitting next/very close to me, making eye contact and smiling), they won't actually say anything. I'm a bit old-fashioned too though, so I don't really expect myself to start the conversation. Maybe that has something to do with it? Sigh...

What am I doing wrong, and how can I change this? I don't want to seem like a stuck up, high maintenance girl and prevent myself from meeting guys this way. I'm not that way at all. :( But I do have trouble socializing at times...


Most Helpful Guy

  • I didn't read everything you wrote. But to be approachable here's some advice

    1. SMILE

    2. wear clothes that fit your body correctly

    3. Good posture

    4. Bounce to your step

    5. Appear friendly!

    • 1. Smiling is just a myth. I smile all the time. It doesn't work. :(

      2. I do that.

      3. I have good posture when I'm not carrying my backpack.

      4. I don't get this one?

      5. I'll work on this one. I tend to look down all the time.

    • Maybe you could try eye contact that works


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Sweetheart, sometimes beautiful girls are just indimidating, period.There's a lot of pressure when you see a beautiful girl, your breathing gets a little heavier and you can't talk, esspecially when you want to approach her. Its very hard. You need to make the effort to get to know some guys. When they get comfortable with you, I promise you're gunna have more dates then you can handle.

  • Be chill bro , you seem all stressed out, just chillax and take it slow. Be yourself and just go with the flow. :)

  • So what are you doing now? Are you in college? Out working? What are you doing to expose yourself to guys? Not literally, of course.


What Girls Said 2

  • I am 100% like you in this situation. When I get really close to people they tend to tell me that I intimidated them before they've met me. I've tried a couple of simple but good ways to start talking to guys. One of the ways, if you might have them in another class, say " hey you are in my (class)?" He'll say yes and then ask "have you started your hw for it? It's so hard/ easy" and then simply say " oh I'm (name) by the way" he'll most likely say his and you'll respond " oh well it's now to meet you" and just go back to why you are doing. He'll be most likely analyzing the conversation after that which mean he'll be thinking about you, I hope lol. But this just opens the doors to many other great future conversations. Goodluck!

  • Approach the guys first. If guys don't approach you, it may be because you're pretty damn gorgeous. So why not approach them if you know they won't approach you? Most guys would be happy to be approached by a hot girl. :)