Using a guy for experience, should I? Is it wrong? Yes or no?

I’m a 22 year old female in university.. I've been told I’m “really pretty/cute” etc. But not many guys approach me, maybe 5 that I can remember, although a lot just stare. (I'm not fat or something and I dress well) People find it hard to believe that I’ve NEVER dated or even kissed a guy. So yeah, I feel really inexperienced, childish and like I`m missing out. lol -_- Also, I don’t crush a lot, like maybe 1-2 people per year at most. Also, I’m transgendered. (meaning I've never felt completely "female`) I`d describe myself as equally boyish and girlish if that makes sense, or an effeminate boy. lol

Anyway about a week ago a guy from one of my courses approached me. It turns out we’ve shared a few classes together over the years (we just never spoke much lol). He’s kinda awkward and geeky but he’s really nice. We went for coffee and talked last Friday between classes. It looked like I made a new friend in him until he started suggesting things like going to his house to hang out and watch movies, and going on a picnic sometime. This is all after just talking to him once for maybe an hour. Since last Friday he’s been texting me a few times and called me yesterday but I missed his call. I think he might be looking for a relationship but I’m not interested in him that way. ;p I like him as a friend so far. BUT like I said I’ve never in my life had a boyfriend or dated or anything. I can’t see myself getting physical or anything of the sort with this guy but should I use him for experience? Like date him in a sense?

I feel bad even asking this. It makes me sound so mean. What would you do? Thx

Updates:
ty for the answers but I'm just gonna do what's right for me. I've never been in any sort of relationship, I don't even know how to communicate to a guy that I like him. I have trouble with eye contact and smiling at strangers. I kno this is why I've been single all my life, I'm sending out the wrong message and I end up hurting the guy I like and myself. I'm gonna do what I have to do to practice basic flirting skills and if that means a few innocent dates with this guy so be it. ;p
isn't that why people date anyway, to see if they like someone? some people only go on one or two dates before calling it quits and deciding they don't work out. Nobody's heart is eternally crushed or some ish. People learn to move on.

Guess there's just a lotta butt-hurt guys on this site. I should never have asked this question here. forget it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes. I actually think this may be a good idea. Because trust me, when it comes to the "real thing" you don't want to be awkward and nervous. Trust me, I've been there. Get some experience first. This guy would be a perfect candidate.

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    • thank you! I know what you mean, last year a guy I actually found myself really attracted to was trying 2 get my attention for months. But due to my naivety and inexperience I didn't even recognize the basic signs of flirting or how to react to them/flirt back. I still struggle. I don't want to end up pushing away someone else I really like in the future because I don't know the basics of dating. ;s I feel like I need practice so what would a few dates/innocent flirting with this guy hurt right?

    • Nope I think you should do it. You gotta look out for YOU

What Guys Said 6

  • If you think that going with someone for experience is ok... would dating someone with a fake leg or a wheel chair for experience be ok? These are the things you need to ask yourself before you do them. Turn it around on you and then see how that would make you feel. Something can be very mean when used this way. I say wait till you are honestly attracted to someone then enjoy the experience together.

    Hope this helps.

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  • I wouldn't do it. You don't want to mislead a guy into believing there is some hope of a romantic relationship when you know deep down that there is none.

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  • im sure a lot of guys wouldn't mind being "used" for such vile purposes

    evil shedevil

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    • lol "she-devil" no bish, I'm one of the nicest people I know. nice to a fault, you don't me at all so don't judge me. gtfo my internets thx... he devil.

  • That would be beyond jacked up... Don't do it.

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  • if he just wants sex then I'm sure he would not mind, but if he wanted to actually date, then no, don't do it

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  • Yeah if you don't like the guy don't make him think you do. That's just a waste of time for the both of you and might be hurtful if he figures it out.

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What Girls Said 2

  • No one ever approached me until I got into college. Guys who actually did never did it directly either, they were a bit shy and gave hints. The guys who truly did approach me were drunk or crazy old men who weren't ashamed of their actions of hitting on a girl (I look like 12 years old) even in public/crowded areas.

    You probably just haven't found a reason to have a crush on someone yet in being physically attracted or from actually knowing the guy.

    Don't compare your life that you have to have a high amount of people to actually interact with you in order to gain experience or that you are missing out on life. You might regret following the idea later of how you must have your first kissed happened already or should have tons of dates. My first kiss was actually stolen from me and I was a bit vulnerable because I was curious about the magical affection I would feel. I felt NOTHING, which of course was also an incorrect experience because it wasn't a first kiss with someone I truly care about.

    Anyways it is really a bad reason to just use him for experience. It's good idea to try something once in your life, but don't jump on every train you see passing by. Who knows, the geeky guy might end up being a stalker once you try to break up with him. Or you might get yourself attached to him and he breaks up with you because of karma.

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  • That's a bit mean :/

    Not to be a hypocrite but I dated for the first time recently for the experience, don't get me wrong I liked the guy, I just wasn't really in love or that interested in him. And I don't think he was that interested in me. Well we ended it and now he won't even look in my direction. I felt terrible for days, but he got over me in a snap (I think) luckily and so I moved on too. But I promised myself never to date anyone unless I was really really attracted to them. For one it would just be hurtful if one person is trying hard and the other is not, and men are human also with beautiful beating hearts, feeling, dreams, desires.

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