This whole dating rules thing has got to get sorted out... I for one hate the idea of people being forced into things just because of their gender, I like being who I am, not what society tells me to be, the idea of the guy always paying... just makes me feel uncomfortable because relationships are a deep emotional thing!
The idea that so many girls are spoiled and demand so much makes me feel ashamed to be one, in fact when I'm around guys (I have a lot of guy friends)
I like splitting but I think what people should expect is *the one who asks pays* but its good for the other person to offer to split as well, but nevertheless its only fair, and I don't feel guilty and uncomfortable that way, afterward I think it should always be split except on special occasions like birthdays
I've seen a lot of guys who have no self-respect too, who actually SPREAD the discrimination against themselves... seriously though, who is in charge of putting things like these into peoples' brains?
I might sound like I'm acting against my own gender here... and maybe I am, but its for a good cause! Because relationships can be emotional, and really make you feel great, but only if they're fair!
Now my question here is if the girl asks the guy out, who do you expect to pay? Now think about it for a minute:
- Saying "its only nice/shows respect/its what a gentleman would do" is ONE-SIDED, if you use your brain you'll realize that
- She asked you out, so she should be making the impression, and not expect you to do all the work
- The point is to get to know each other, paying shouldn't be such a big deal
- Its unfair on the guy, especially if he makes the same or less amount of money
I've asked a few guys out before and I fully expected to pay, because why did I ask them out? Because I had a crush on them and I wanted them to like me back, and expecting him to pay would NOT get him to like me it would probably (definitely if the guy has self respect) get him angry!
When I picture my relationship and ones like it in my head, it gives me a warm hearted and cozy feeling of two people being close
But when I picture a traditional relationship... it doesn't trigger any feelings at all to me!
But my point here is;
Girls: Do something to make him feel special too
Guys: Have self respect, don't let her use you for money and if she asks you out and expects you to pay, well... girls, what would you do? I bet you'd be angry! I try to see these things from a guy's point of view and they don't seem fair at all
There's probably so many questions I could ask... but I'll ask "If a girl asks a guy out, who do you expect to pay?" since that's usually where the girl would be the first person expected to make the impression so I'll ask for your opinion on that
Also girls, what would you think if the guy didn't pay?
Please don't troll!
The whole idea that human beings are always treated like this... it just makes me sad
- The girlVote A
- The guyVote B
- Always go Dutch, no matter who asked who outVote C
- Forget dating rules, I prefer "hanging out"Vote D
Most Helpful Guy
Until WWII, it wasn't common for women to work outside the home. WWII saw women not only working outside the home, but doing "men's work": working in factories and the like. That ended quickly after the war ended and the men returned home, but that experience strongly influenced the next generation (the children of "Rosey The Riveter") and resulted in the Women's Movement in the 60s.
It was really in the 60s when women started working outside the home in large numbers. Even then, they were largely limited to "women's jobs" such as secretaries and other lower-wage jobs. It took a full generation to adjust to women in the workplace, but by the 80s/90s, women were doing nearly every job that men do.
What I'm getting at here is that the concept of "the man pays" comes from a time when most women had no separate income, and if she did, it was likely to be much smaller than a man's. Men also had a greater amount of control over everything as a result, so men paying was the only practical solution.
Things have changed greatly since then, and today, there is no reason for men to pay for everything. While it isn't necessary for women to "split the bill" down to the penny, it shouldn't be "weird" for women to expect to pay their way, and to pay a nearly equal portion of the bill.
I'm 41, so I'm "old school" and this was a weird thing for me to accept, but I have. And it would be best if everyone did.
Sure, if one person makes a lot more than the other, that person might pay more, or pay more often. Likewise, if one loses their job, the other might pay until the first person is back to work. No problem. But overall, it would make more sense for everyone if the "rule" was doing Dutch for everything, with exceptions made as needed, rather than the "rule" being "guys pay."1