Should people not date until their life is "set"?

What I mean by set is like..having a career, having a place to live, that sort of thing. Having your significant other in your life is supposedly about "letting someone into your life, when you're already happy". Well then how do you know if that girl/guy is making you happy/sad, if you're already happy. I'm not saying you should be sad but..I'm not saying you should be happy before they enter your life, either.

My point is, people are always dating, throughout high school, college and so forth (even as young as 11). But, why are they doing it when they themselves probably aren't really all that happy with their life?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think people should date when they have a clear idea of what they want in their life. Meaning they know what career they want to do and they are working towards that. We should all have an idea of where we would want to live. That is one of the things you will hopefully have in common with your future spouse.

    You are supposed to depend on yourself to make you happy before getting in a relationship rather than expecting the other person to make your life brighter. That way once you meet someone that you really like then they are going to make life that much better and you will be able to experience what real happiness is.

    People get into relationships for a lot of wrong reasons and that's not a very smart thing to do. Most relationships that start young often end and sometimes badly. Teenagers may get into a relationship just for the heck of it. Some people, a lot of them I know, do it because they are afraid of being by themselves. This leads them to settle in life, which then causes a chain of problems. The end result is a lot of hurt for both parties. That's why ideally it's best to just be patient.

    That being said, I think it's healthy to casually date in order to try to figure out the opposite gender and try to figure out what it is that you want. When you are ready you will have an idea of what to look for. It's all a learning process really, but I don't think we should go into the dating thing having so much expectations, like expecting someone to make us happy, because it always leads to disappointment.

    • You sound like a cynic

    • Show All
    • I get it now. It's not really about being pessimistic, but it's more like lessons/tips I've learned through my own experiences and through observing others.

    • Yes, you may add me :).


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • nah. no one's life is ever "set." and if it is, I don't want to date them.


What Guys Said 3

  • Well my opinion is that when you have a career "set" and your own place and everything and stuff, what reason do you have for having all that? Who do you have to share that "place" and "career" with?

    I think it is important to "date" while finding a career because it gives me a reason to fight. A reason to wake up every morning and work hard. Because I believe that having a career means to have the means to take care of someone, and if there is nobody to take care of, what is the purpose of a career?

  • I've been hung up on this idea f***in sucks...i always feel like I'm missing one thing or another and that no one will give a damn about me if they find out that I don't have something in particular..whatever it may be..lots of money, fancy car, etc.

  • IMHO if you're dating then it implies your life is NOT set. Otherwise you'd be married or confirmed your eternal bachelor status.