Have you ever been in love with someone you felt wasn't the right one for you?

Their is this guy that I have been seeing and in my heart I feel like he is not the one for me. I feel like at the end of our relationship I'm going to be heartbroken but because I'm falling so deep with feelings for him and I'm so comfortable around him, I don't want to ignore him. When it comes to relationships I set my standards high and he doesn't qualify for any of them. Just so you don't think I'm a shallow person I'll describe what I want and what he has.

I want someone who is college educated, working, stays out of trouble,etc.. things like that. Him on the other hand didn't finish high school, is in and out of jail, does things that in my heart I believe he can careless if he ends up back in jail. He has kids that he takes care of but he doesn't spend time with them. don't get me wrong, he's not a horrible person and I know he can be the best man for someone. I just don't feel he's the one for me. With that being said, its hard to ignore and stay away from someone your falling in love with.

I just want someone who I can spend the rest of my life with, not someone who's gonna be in and out. Anyways I'm 23 and I never had a boyfriend (weird, I know) and he's the only guy that I've been close with. The more and more I'm around him, the more I fall for him. Its sad to say but I recently had my first kiss with this guy. I'm so confused on what to do. I just need some advice from people who've been through this.

PLEASE HELP!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would talk to him and try to find out if he is ever going to change with his life.

    If you think he will, then stay with him...Opposites def attract (YING&YANG) :D

    But, if you think he will bring you down in life, then move on. I know the feeling..sort of..

    and I would not be with my boyfriend still if he wasn't going to change his life..which he did..

    sort of. I may still not be with him in the future though, if he decides to do the things again

    that he has done before. As far as not making something of himself and bringing me down with

    him. That will never happen. I won't let it. Because, I will break up with him first. IF you do not think you are strong enough to break it off with him if things get to the point where you have to..then I would break it off now..or keep my options open for something better to come along...OR talk to him about it..and tell him what you need and how you feel.

    Best wishes xx

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    • He says he will change when I agree to officially be with him. Then he tells me when I fficially marry him! Its like its a everlasting change with him. In order for him to change I have to agree to something he wants. And I just don't believe him. I feel like if his KIDS desnt mpact his life that much for him to change his ways. Me being with him definitely won't make him change his ways. And as much as I want to tell him that I'm scared hell get defensive and be mad.

    • I would tell him he needs to change BEFORE even thinking about marriage. you need to be strong and put your foot down. He thinks he can use this to his advantage because you are new at dating. Put your foot down. Tell him you will NOT be officially with him unless he changes. You need to guard yourself before you please your heart..because your heart can be damaged badly.

What Guys Said 1

  • No need to read your essay. She was my cousin. I at least wanted to be with her all the time, if not love her. Although she was almost illiterate, I still liked her. But then due to some incidents, it made me clear that she was not a good choice for me. You know sometimes you have to leave someone, you just can not spoil your life. Now don't ask me for more details plz.

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    • your cousin, so no more my man, you need morals!

    • @afro...no, you are taking it wrong. We can marry our cousins, its not incest. In our society, just the blood relations are forbidden like sister, aunt.

What Girls Said 2

  • no. I think if you think he is wrong for you, you are not actually in love. love is truth. I don't think its a solely a feeling--like a infatuation.. its real.

    i think you crave this person, perhaps deeply. but you want him to be someone else. you don't respect him. you see him hurting you. you do not trust him. you can not love without trust. without respect -imo- you can't have love. its not love its desire.

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  • I understand and NO, you're not shallow! I have felt that way, you're not alone.

    Uhm... I know everyone has their problems and are not perfect, however this guy seems like TROUBLE! My advice - and you don't have to take it, it's your decision - cut it off before you get anymore involved. You're young and have everything ahead of you! This seems like a SEMI - TRUCK Load to take on! I know it's hard but later you will feel so good for making a good decision in your life!

    ps - We are not talking about overlooking a messy guy, an unattractive guy, a guy with bad habits, a guy whom doesn't make as much money as you would hope. The list you gave is more serious! Time will heel.

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