Is it possible to develop feelings with someone you haven't met in person yet?

Is it possible to develop feelings with someone you haven't met in person yet?

Eg, you deal with someone on the phone a lot in work and email also etc, you never met them in person but you get on very well and you both get very close and start to trust each other etc. Can also include online dating I guess.

But do people think it's possible to develop genuine feelings in these senarios? Having seen only a photo?

  • Yes
    82% (112)84% (57)83% (169)Vote
  • No
    18% (24)16% (11)17% (35)Vote
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Updates:
an majority for the yes vote but what I'm referring to by saying"genuine feelings" is what if you meet in person and despite previously knowing what they look like, what if there is just no "vibe" or chemistry? is that possible?

i've really gotten to like this guy and not sure whether to trust my feelings for him or whether they're some sort of projection onto him cos he's a nice guy at the end of a phone or email...
Well we met, and eh...lets just say we clicked ;) in more ways than one ;)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's hard to tell you have feelings for people in general. People say you need to live with a person to know them and then you they say you have to be with them for a certain amount of time. It's silly, really. You know when you have feelings and that's all you need to know. Don't go looking for others perspectives when you have proof.

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    • You can become entranced or infatuated with someone over the phone or the internet but until you have actually met them in person and know what they are like in person, it is not possible to develop REAL emotions for them.

What Guys Said 19

  • Feelings are produced from associating something or someone with positive or negative vibes.

    For example, if you don't like a person, negative vibes are associated with the person, because of their behavior, appearance, or just something they've been involved with or done that has a negative impact on you.

    This means, because you've already associated negativity with what ever behavior, appearance or action they've taken, you associate them with that same negativity because they were involved in circumstances that you perceive in a negative light (or vibe).

    This goes the same for positive feelings. This summary being just a simple explanation of how we form specific feeling's for specific stimuli (the things that cause us to feel that way; for example a person etc).

    This is how you've accumulated positive feelings for the person you've never met. Because of the positive vibes you've associated with their behavior, or appearance, or intricate details of when ever you may speak on the phone, or hear from each other, etc.

    These associated feelings can be even effected by the environment - as many psychological studies have been looking into this topic of feeling's association.

    So YES, of course you can accumulate feelings for someone you've never met, because love, or other strong feelings, are merely associations of positive and negative vibes. I have had the same as you (I assume the topic applies to you), many times! Maybe not as strong as you feel them, but that's because my positive associations aren't as strong, but there still there.

    We do this every day with everything - hence why our opinion and behaviors change towards specific things. Because were learning new associations, because were experiencing new positive or negative vibes for that specific stimuli were associating feelings for (which can be anything, it's basically our foundation for building emotions towards everything).

    This is why you hear (or may have heard) or such stories as people marrying animals, or people marrying objects or programmes, like that Chinese guy that married his Nintendo DS cyber girl programme thing on the DS (a girl that speaks to him and is basically designed to give love like them puppies and animal love games you get on there). - Because they've associated positive feelings (similar to or mimmicking love) for these animals or objects.

    Hopefully that makes sense to you. But yes that's my explanation for how you can accumulate/ develop strong feelings for anything - even a person you haven't met, through merely hours of chat on the phone, or online...etc.

    Im not saying you don't know his character, and your feelings are merely illusions, I'm saying that the things you like him saying, doing, feeling, showing, the things you like in his character that you've found from the communication you've had with him, seem desirable to you, and therefore you've now developed feelings for him :D

    Wish all the best if you decide to pursue these feelings

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    • Well directed towards your update. Yes, I assume it could be possible that because the situation and environment isn't familiar with you; when meeting him I mean, it's not going to bring out the same associated feelings for him. But that doesn't mean your opinion of him will change - he's still the same guy you assume him to be, from what you've judged so far.

      It's just that, you will have to become accustomed to those positive vibes you associate with him again, because the situation is new..

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    • Lol, he writes this long answer for you and you just write it off as a 'text book' answer. lol

    • lol... I know Kain6th! What a cheek! ... lol... still, least I helped. I see you've noticed my efforts! lol

  • not completely authentic ones. because you haven't met him face to face yet, you are filling in the "gaps in information" with your projections of what you hope they will be. talking on the phone can gain a pretty strong sense of who someone is but not the whole thing.

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  • I think it is. You see a picture of them (provided it's real) and you like how they look. You hear what they say and it has some kind of effect on you.

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  • If both people are honest with each other during the Q&A phase, it's absolutely possible...and then...the minute they meet, the chemistry will be there.

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    • this is interesting, I'm dying to know if this is true to form. curious to see when I meet him...

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    • Haha thanks! I have to say its exciting. Never thought it was possible to sorta click with someone you'd never met. But when we met in person it was cool. We weren't awkward at all! Anyway I'm just gonna take it easy and stay friendly and see what happens! Its cool tho! Thanks for your help. Its seems you were right! I never thought possible !

    • It IS exciting, isn't it!?

  • Yes, there are people who have gotten engaged and even married without ever meeting in person.

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  • Yes , I've had that before...

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  • Of course! Ever fantasized about a celebrity? That counts as 'having feelings'.

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  • Yes, it's possible and the meeting IRL might be a heavy desillusion.

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  • Possible? Yes. But you don't have an accurate/holistic idea of who they truly are, so it's at least partially an inaccurate perception or feeling.

    Is it a good idea? Probably not.

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  • Yes it's possible and I think you can even connect with a person on a deeper level than in person, where it mostly becomes about physical attraction. It's happened to me in the past, but unfortunately she didn't have the same feelings for me.

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  • Sure. As long as both are being honest about themselves then I don't see why not. You're actually interested in something more important than looks and not letting looks get in the way of it. So whooo there.

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  • Yes it is. Been there, done that. I had to put a stop to it, because I knew I was wasting my time in the long run. Not trying to be mean in any way, but, I saved myself some heartbreak in the end. Developing feelings for someone you never met is as possible for the ones you do meet, nothing is out of the question or impossible :)

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  • Yeah, it's possible.

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  • Happens to me all the time. And believe me, I hate that sometimes.

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  • It is possible considering that's how I ended up dating my last girlfriend.

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  • it happened to me with the girl I am with now!

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  • yes I think its possible, no I don't think you should validate those feelings yet.

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  • yes it could happen but it's just a waste of time. If you want someone to talk to when you're bored, he's the one

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    • dont get what you mean, why is it a waste of time if you clearly like talking to this person - a lot.

    • it's a waste of time because you don't know who they truly are. But you could have a friend to talk to when you're bored or when you need it. for example, your friend in GAG

  • I developed feelings for a girl I met online once but when we met in person there was no chemistry :/ ..so that happens

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What Girls Said 20

  • Definitely. I met a dude online (not from a dating site) and we've been chatting for 4 years. We instant message, we send each other letters sometimes, and we know what each other looks like. And I don't know about him, but I'm kinda crazy about him. :) He's so funny and great, I could (and have!) talk with him for hours. I hope we can meet in person at some point!

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  • Yes, you can get to know and like them online. However, it is much different in person. It is very hard to express full feelings/ expressions/ personality online. For instance- 'hahaha lol' we all do it, but how many actually laugh genuinely at it? Not many. Also- sarcasm, very hard to express on writing, text included.

    Without realising it some people may also try to be more then they really are and when it comes to face-to-face meeting they either can't keep up the act or are completely different. Some people live like 2 lives- online and reality. This can also be subconsious.

    I wouldn't declare your feelings to this person now but meet him a few times and get to know him. You will also know if they feel the same if they call, send letters and go out of their way for you, not just online.

    On the other hand- I'm sure there have been successful relationships in the past that have grown from the scenarios you mentioned.

    Hope this helped :)

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  • No. You might decide you like the person, maybe he or she is friendly, but when it comes down to it, you will be developing feelings for the personality that the person project over the phone or internet or whatever. When you finally meet the person, he or she could be completely different from what you think/

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  • no, my friend has done that before & the person she thought was so amazing & connected with her, turned out to be the total opposite when they actually did meet in person. it's different when you don't see the person face to face because you are more likely to be fearless in what you say to them. Don't do it.

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  • Same as Snowfire1335...

    It is possible, because I ended up dating a guy I met through online. And even though we aren't together anymore, we're really close friends still and always will be. I'll say I love him but it's not as boyfriend/girlfriend type "love", it's different cause I know he's always there for me whenever I need to talk to him.

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  • YES... and I don't like it... I prefer to be blunt than to show what I feel... because people take me for granted...well, maybe not for others

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  • Yes, but I don't really agree with it. I feel that you need to meet someone in person to see what theyre really like.

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  • My vote is yes, My friend hook me up with a guy, but before we met we talk a lot on the phone and I develop strong feeling for him. our relationship did not ignite. But now I will say that he is my best friend and I would not change that for the world.

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  • Yes, I think it's possible. But if by "feelings", you mean being in love, then no. But it's entirely possible to genuinely like someone and care for them, even if you haven't met them in person.

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  • I think you can develop feelings, but whether it's a way of finding a partner like on a social website then I don't think it's a genuine way of finding the ONE

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  • it's possible to fall for the idea of them, yeah.

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  • I think it's possible, but those 'feelings' could just be infatuation with the other person, I've herd of it happening, but it has never happened to me.

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  • Why not meet him then and put an end to the ambiguity?

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  • It's possible.

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  • of course it is.

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  • Yes it's possible it's Happened to me a few times, I also met my boyfriend through online talking on the phone most nights and chatting online and had feelings and we've lasted 4.5year in person! X

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  • yeah it happened to me and this guy :)

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  • i personally don't think so. its just attraction.

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    • but how can you be attracted to someone you've never seen?!

  • I've really liked guys I haven't met before and then I've met them and they were either better in person or worse. I don't think you can really tell until you've met the person if you like them or not.

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  • Completely..

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