In the prime of my life, I'm gettin' nothing.

The idea of a "friend with benefits" is appealing because I would be getting physical contact, but I've gone down that road in the past. In my 20's. Those days are over (though I would not completely object to a "friend" like that) but I want a relationship. I'm a serial monogamist. My first love was a fantastic experience, my marriage was good, and both where great physical relationships. Since then, I dated and lived with a man for 12 years who believes that the best relationships are more of a friendship. He has a problem with impotency. I need to be touched by someone I care about.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not to sound conceited, but I would gladly change places with you. Every day I have offers for relationships from men who want lots of sex. I would give you their #'s gladly! I love friends! Guess the grass is always greener on the other side, huh? Anyway, if it is there like it is here, it should be no problem what so ever to find what you are looking for.

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    • Yeah, I'm envious. But I don't seem to find the places (no bars please) where men are available and offering those benefits, let alone relationships. Living in the NW, I meet men on the ski slops, but mostly the golf course. It's gotten more challenging to meet the fun ones since I hit 40, but it still happens. I stay in good shape (big boobs and sz 4-6 pants), have a great smile and friendly personality, look young for my age thanks to good DNA. Any tips?

    • Honestly, I don't go to bars either. Maybe you are just putting off "taken" signals since you are really in a long term committed relationship and people can pick up on that. If you choose to honestly move on, you will be able to relax and just let it happen.

What Guys Said 4

  • Might be time to move on. There are lots of guys our age who are VERRRRRY sexual. I should know! (LOL)

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  • Well they are a lot of people out they just like you and what the same thing like you do because it is not easy to find a guy or woman that is not just some one to have sex with they what more out of it than just that so you are in the same bout as some of us over 40

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  • get out there and meet some men yo! It's easy!

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  • The less we get the more we want it. I'm around your age too... Our youth-oriented culture seems to think that people are beyond sex at 30!

    My feeling is we should not appear too needy, or we tend to alienate what we might get!

    I know that women do peak at your age... but believe me, one can't get it all. Either it's a rich man, a good looker or someone good in bed. Not all three at the same time! Ditto for women... though not necessarily in that order.

    If I were you, maybe I woulnt chuck out an existing relationship, but try to make it work... There are many things that can offer a sexually satisfying relationship apart form a d*ck. Unless his impotency issues make him completely lack the sex drive, so much so that seeking sex is like begging... and that can be humilating (I know!)

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    • "If I were you, maybe I woulnt chuck out an existing relationship, but try to make it work..."

      Indeed!

    • I hear what you're saying, but I have no sexual interest in him at all. There is nothing more to work out with this guy. We live under the same roof for financial reasons only, and to take care of the dog we have together. I'm just looking for some affection from a FWB. My experience in the past has not been with a booty call, no hit it and quit it. It's two friends getting together for something social then we hit the sheets. Makes the line between sex and love less confusing.

What Girls Said 1

  • So get out there and meet some men! Or are you still with the impotant man? Does he object to using his hands on you sexually? Or a vibrator?

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    • I am in the beginning process of getting out there to meet some men. I want to be with someone else, not the one I'm with. And I use the vibrator on myself.

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