Am I a horrible person...and what should I do about this?

Okay I feel like a horrible person, I just turned 21 and I haven't had a girl in a long time, so anyway I work with a girl who's engaged and I knew I didn't have chance, but I started hanging with her a little bit and two nights ago we were in the car and I parked for a minute Because we were tired and she said we should stop and just rest for a little bit, she was kinda laying on me and she kept getting closer and eventually she kissed me and I wasn't even trying to do anything with her and we made out for a good hour...low and behold I thought that was the end of it and she said I couldn't tell anyone and she was sorry but last night she came over and we were watching a movie, but we ended up having sex and I was a virgin and she was waiting till marriage to do it again, and she's still getting married and I really care about her Because she's perfect for me and she's beautiful. I feel bad for the other guy but I really like her and I don't know what to do Because I wanna be with her and she likes me a lot too...am I a bad person and what do I do...?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not a bad person. She's the one that's cheating, she's the one that's doing something wrong.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I agree with anonymous person number 2 about you making a bad decision but not being a bad person. However, I don't think it's your place do or say anything. You need to understand this woman has a commitment with another man. Who are you to give her an ultimatum? Your messing with the other guys life and that's wrong.

    Distance yourself from her, it's the right thing to do. And hopefully she tells her fiance so he can have a chance to decide what's best for himself.

    PS. If she was so willing to do that to her fiance, what makes you think she won't do it to you if you were to get with her? A cheater is a cheater. She will make excuses up to make it seem okay.

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  • it's not your fault she's hoeing around...this sounds very harsh but you can't turn a hoe into a housewife...and if she's already cheating on a guy who she's about to marry...i'd re think that one if I were you. even if you two did get together, there would always be the other guy...and she might miss him sometimes and resent you or maybe blame you for it...think about it..don't go strictly off your emotions on this one...

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  • No if anything she should feel guilty. Not only cheating on her fiance but giving in on her virginity til marriage *unless that was a lie to begin with... I don't know I mean she must have feelings for you or is really good at lieing and making people believe she's a virgin when she gave it up to easily..

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    • she wasn't a virgin she did it when she was younger but never again since that, she was waiting till marriage to do it with her fiance, and still is. Now she won't even talk to me because she says she has too many feelings and doesn't wanna ruin her marriage because he doesn't deserve it

  • well does she really love him? you should ask her about what you feel if she feels like she loves you more than him or what

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  • First off, You are not a bad person because you made a bad decision. Secondly, Tell her how you feel and that you feel bad about how the relationship happened. Tell her she haves to choose him or you and if she chooses him you guys can only be friends. not sex buddies. not secret lovers. Friends. Cheating repeatedly like that is horrible and will change a good person into and ugly horrible one. You must stand firm with what ever decision you make. Make sure that she knows that no matter what you want to be her friend. Good luck and I hope this helped.

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  • Yes both of you are as bad as each other. But worse still, you put yourself in a very sticky and risky situation at work since she's your co-worker.

    If she can do that to her fiances regardless of the reason, she's capable of doing that to you. Quit and resist her, unless you want to play with the fire and put your work in jeapordy. Make it clear that both of you are just co-workers. It's morally unacceptable to be sleeping with someone else's fiance and be a relationship breaker so quit thinking about the prospects of being with someone who can't even be trusted.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You're not a bad person, but you made a series of really bad decisions. You're talking about having a future with a girl who was never available in the first place. Even worse, she cheated on her fiance. Even if you two end up getting together, how do you know you can trust her not to cheat on you? By definition, you can't, because you two became involved through cheating! That's a lousy foundation for a long-term relationship, but you probably won't have to worry about that because I suspect her interest in you is only VERY short-term.

    This situation is a big mess; the best thing you can do (although it's easier said than done) is to walk away.

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    • Well said +1

    • Depends what your definition of bad person is. He put his feelings above that of her fiancee - how would he feel if ithe tables were turned? So in this moment of time, yes he is being a bad person, as he is being utterly selfish. She is a bad person too and yes more in the wrong because she was the one who committed to a relationship. However, everyone is a bad person at one point or another, it's his actions over his whole life which determine how good or bad he is.

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