I'm a bit of a commitment-phobe. Too much, too soon?

I'm a bit of a commitment-phobe - I think anyway.

I've never been in a relationship before, and whist yes I've had what you could refer to as flings, I've never actually been fully involved with a guy in terms of boyfriend, girlfriend. And never really wanted to.

Essentially - I met a guy about a month back and we've become this 'official' couple kind of thing. And now I step back and look at it I can't quite understand how it happened. I met this guy, we had a laugh, flirted a bit. Then he was talking about making it official and I said "I've only known you a couple of days, it's way too early for that."

We were seeing each other a lot, most days, and I slept as his place once - though nothing overtly sexual happened. And then a few days later I had a Facebook relationship request (curse the thing I know, it's the bane of my life). And essentially I thought it rude to decline. Which you know should have been the key sign.

Problem is, I like this guy, honestly I do - I just can't help but think that things are moving way too fast and in a direction I never wanted things to go.

I like him - and I could see myself with him, maybe, but I can't help but feel completely trapped, and sometimes looking for reasons not to see him. And I know that's definitely not the right attitude.

But at the same time, I'm not sure ending it would be wise, I like the guy - and in time, maybe yeah, something could happen when we're both more on the same page - but I feel for me now isn't the right time - and I'm sure he wouldn't really understand that.

I didn't purposely lead the guy on - but looking back, I kind of feel like I have. Has anyone been in a similar situation? - it's not that I don't like him - it's just things got too serious too fast and I don't know what to do.

Updates:
... I did put this in relationships; I'm not asking about sex at all :/

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What Guys Said 1

  • Give the guy a chance I'd say, who knows maybe you'll end up really enjoying being with him. Sure relationships can be scary at times but I feel like they're also great learning experiences, not just about relationships but about yourself.

    Give it a whirl! It's not like you're getting married, if it doesn't work out you can still end it but you can at least say "I tried" and save yourself the god awful feelings of "what if".

    Only take my advice if you're being honest with yourself about liking him though!

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What Girls Said 1

  • Tell him to slow it down. Tho I did go on a date with a guy I've know for a year from school. Already the first date he was talking about this wedding ring that goes in the family, how he is so glad things worked out between me and him, that he has feelings for me? what theee fuuunk, right? Also the day I said yes to going on a date with. A DATE, just a freakin Date! He had told his family about me already and his parents "would love to see me"? Creepy sh*t? Yes?! Did I run away like a mofo? Yes I did!

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