Who normally pays on a first date?

I know it's 2011! That doesn't mean much to me as I'm quite traditional. Anyway I went out with a guy that's been asking me out. I really didn't even want to really go. We had a light snack and a few cocktails. I stepped away for a few moments and when I returned. He told me he had paid the bill and how much it was. He then says. Well I asked you out so it's expected for me to pay. I didn't say anything because he took me by surprise. I'm not at all cheap and don't mind going Dutch or even picking up the tab.

Was it wrong of me to assume he would pay because he asked me out? Is this an indication he's just cheap? Should I mention it to him? Should I give him half the money next time I see him? Is it me or is this weird?

Updates:
If I asked a guy out I would definitely pay and not mention the cost. I don't know why I didn't say anything at the time. It's bothering me and I feel I have to say something.
I had to tell him. He's reply was. Don't worry about it I enjoyed your company and it was worth every minute of it. Maybe next time I'll let you treat me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I believe you are right he asked you out and he should have paid and not said a single word about the cost. And if he wants you to pay next time assuming there is a next time, take him to Taco Bell or Jack In The Box, insist on it.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I would feel so wrong if I would expect my girl to pay on a date, especially on the first. It's just kind of an unwritten rule to me that I'm the one who pays, even if she's the one who asks me on a date. I just want to have fun being with the girl instead of worrying about money. I don't think it's wrong to assume he would pay... and I'm not even that traditional.

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  • In my opinion if I ask the girl out I will pay for the date. If she asks me out I will offer to pay and see if she says she will pay she asked me out, if she doesn't pay I will without saying anything, but I assume she will want me to pay all the time. I don't micd paying to go out but I like the woman to pay some also. If she doesn't want to pay when we go out she should make me dinners and not expect me to pay for the groceries. If I go out with a woman and she never wants to spend any of her money I will break up with her and find someone that is willing to be an ewual in the relationship

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  • His delivery was awkward, but I wouldn't judge on it alone. If you like him, ask him out and you pay next time. If you don't like him, well it was his decision.

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    • Very awkward. This is someone I dated as teenager for a few years and have recently gotten reacquainted with. I don't remember him being cheap but it was a very long time ago,lol. Anyway I just thought it was weird.

  • Well, the traditional way is technically the one who asks pays...but I think rules are stupid as far as this stuff goes. If you wanna pay, pay. If you dont, splitting is perfectly fine. I actually kinda respect girls more who want to pay instead of just relying on the guy to do everything.

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    • I don't normally expect anything from anyone. However if you invite a female out you should pay and vice versa without mentioning the cost. That's just damn tacky.

  • My old fashion way I guess but the man should always pay the bill. You should not feel bad. If you wish you can always ask after a few dates if he prefers going Dutch. Personally I could never feel comfortable with a lady paying the bill or even Dutch. If I likes her enough to go out, how can I even feel Dutch is the right thing? If you make a lot more than him and you like him, maybe treat him sometimes, it will make him feel you care. Good Luck. GLENN

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    • Thanks. I did feel bad but I don't anymore. I'm actually glad that I found out what type of person he is. He's NOT someone I want to be in a relationship with. I will definitely treat him next time or I won't be able to live with myself! and I won't mention the cost, lol. It's good to be able to tell the difference between a gentlemen and a LOSER! Frugal is one thing and it's okay but he went beyond that!

  • Maybe he wanted you know how much it was so you know he wasn't cheap? I do not know if the bill was small or large? I would not worry about him being cheap. He did pay the bill. He just did not word it right.

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  • From my personal experience I'm whipped I pay all of it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • If it was me, I'd give him half the money and never communicate with him again. The fact that he mentioned how much the bill was is beyond tacky and I would take it as if he had some expectation. He seems cheap.

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  • Generally,the one who asks does the paying;)

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    • That's what I thought. I've never paid on a date. Unless we were in a relationship then it was who ever was able to. For the most part my boyfriends have never expected me to pay. I'm thinking that I should offer to give him half the money? I don't like cheap men.

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