People who don't talk

On a totally random note, isn't it so frustrating when you meet up with a girl or guy who doesn't talk? Not mute, I mean, but the sort that won't start a topic or get excited or keep talking. I was just thinking about it, because I had a dinner date and she was great for conversation, like 90% of the time we had good talk, except for the last 10% where I started getting serious and she fell silent, lol. But she carried at least half the conversation, which I appreciated.

It was a huge contrast from a girl I met up before her, where conversation was basically ALL me. Like, she carried 10%, and trying to keep some talk going was like pulling teeth, or improvising a comedy show.

So I was just thinking, have you guys and gals run into the same thing like that before? Like, some people are great for conversation, and some just don't talk?


Most Helpful Girl

  • OMG I totally know what you mean!...xX

    I hate carrying the convo! But I don't usually talk that much with people like that because of this very reason..

    It's too much work that they don't seem to appreciate so I don't bother any more.

    I'd rather put my efforts into seeking out a person who WANTS to engage and be involved in the convo...

    The kind of lively convo were you're trying to slip your piece in because you're both so excited about whatever the topic is and you can't get enough of the great company!

    But I do get annoyed at people who go on lol...xX

    • Not to go Charlie Brown on you, but... THAT'S IT! Best answer for someone who spoke exactly what I was feeling, haha! XD

    • lol I knew it the moment I read the question, I was like omg I'm not alone! lol...xX


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What Girls Said 8

  • Yeah, I'm the quiet one...

    I know it drives people crazy, but I'm a listener, not a talker. And I'm perfectly fine with silence--if I break it, it's generally because I feel badly about making the other person uncomfortable, not because I'm uncomfortable. Plus, I am shy. Do I need someone to teach me social skills? No. I can be very talkative when I want to be. There are some people that I just don't warm up to. So you can blame the girl for being quiet, but maybe the two of you just didn't click.

  • Don't be so quick to judge, I try to be talkative and not create awkward moments in convos, I'm super nice and funny, but hell, I'm shy as fu*k and awkward moments/ quiet moments can result. Especially if I'm just getting to know someone. Overtime as I get more comfortable with someone, I become less nervous and can speak to them with ease. People have diff personalities and that should be respected. Some girls who you'd like and considered great conversationalists can easily be labelled chatty and idiotic by others.

    Similarly, a more quiet girl might be considered mysterious, or intriguing or cute/shy by others. I wish people wouldn't go around judging so harshly based on one or two convos with someone. You don't know them enough to decide what kind of a person they are. : /

    • It's unfair of me, but that's life. And it's not mysterious when one person's trying to chat and you just answer questions, it's more like a bored interrogation. She had made clear she liked me, so I decided why not, see how it goes, but the conversation was flat and one sided and I felt so awkward and ridiculous.

      And seriously, most people appreciate a girl who talks. Not that I'm biased, lol, but dinner with the talkative girl was 100x better than meeting with the girl who didn't talk.

    • Show All
    • Lol. It's unfair that chocolate makes you fat, but guess what? I've eaten my share. And if you won't talk when you meet up with someone, they won't care to try to talk again.

    • I'm not talking about someone who is completely silent when you ask them a question, who rolls their eyes at you and appears visibly bored. That's plain rude/disinterest. I'm talking about those of us who are shy/nervous, clearly trying, but can be awkward upon meeting someone for the first time, especially a someone they like. look I really don't care that you don't have patience for those kind of girls. I'm not here to change your mind, I like kind, patient, understanding guys anyway. ;p

  • i think they don't like me so I follow suit and don't talk much either

  • Argh. I know I can be that person..At least initially. I usually just cannot for the love of everything think of a question to ask or story to tell on the spot. I'm fine once something is initiated or there's some context going on around that I can draw from.

    Its a flaw. I know. Its awkward. I sometimes feel like I should have a notecard with a list of topics I know I can jabber on about that are interesting just to remind myself I really do have a lot of random interesting life stories and that people just don't know automatically that I've traveled a lot, that I'm really musical, built a laser, etc etc.

    Blargh. On behalf of the sometimes awkward quiet people I apologize. I'm workin' on it.

    I feel like pulling my own teeth too at those times. Its just as awkward for me as it is for you.

  • I agree it does get frustrating it's happened to me so many times finally I just give

  • I get quiet sometimes when I think the person I'm talking to is an idiot. :)

    • Lol, I'm glad the girl I had dinner with was really chatty then, it's her opinion that concerns me, lol, not the quiet one.

    • Yeah, you and the quite girl probably didn't have much common ground. It's really hard to keep a conversation going in that circumstance.

    • That's the irony! The girl who was really quiet has a *really* similar background to me, though different personality. And the girl who was great for conversation, opposite. Almost nothing in common background-wise, but her and even one of my siblings have commented we're very much alike, personality wise.

  • I hate when that happens. I am like that, but it' really frustrating when my date doesn't talk much, because if I don't have much to say, and he doesn't have much to say, it's really awkward.

    My last date was like that, he was really chatty in text but in person very very quiet. I wasn't even attracted to him anyways. But still you know, it kinda sucks.

    • Yeah, it's nearly painful, when the conversation is all on you.

  • They're just shy and quiet and a bit socially awkward

    • Yeah, but shy and quiet doesn't make for an interesting date, and it's not my job or yours to train someone on social skills, haha.

    • true, but a little patience never killed anyone

What Guys Said 1

  • I talk way more than a normal guy should, I kind of hate that about myself. I'm pretty happy when I meet someone who matches or talks more. Most guys would hate that lol.