Tired of Physical Attributes.. Why not Personality?!?

My entire life. I've been the athletic kid. The one who kept up with all sports mostly. Loved playing sports rather than having hard competition. I've been sensitive of others and thoughtful. Hard work to stay fit and have a good healthy body and I was one of the few but many with the toned muscular figure.

So growing up.. all the girls just like my body more than me.

I'm not even a mean person. I'm nice, sincere, respectful, I try to be thoughtful of ones space or ones property. I never try to fight or argue, I'm more about love and passive when it comes to violence I'm the defender not the offender. I'm a good person.

I've only been chased by girls mostly because of my looks.

I'm tired. Sick of looking for the girl with the personality I want cause I get tossed to the side. I use to give in so easy, now I don't and I got a wall bigger than China's on my side. I have such a hard time trying to get with a girl. I guess I might just be a boring guy cause I'm so laid back more than hyped up and wild.

But really, nobody wants that when they are growing up trying to fit in the real world with a job and all...

Why do we judge by looks so much now days, I want personality back in order. Lol.. Loneliness kills, guess that's why I'm here.

  • Physical Attribute over Personality
    0% (0)20% (1)7% (1)Vote
  • Personality Attribute over Physical
    78% (7)40% (2)64% (9)Vote
  • Having Two in one (1person) is to good to be true.
    22% (2)40% (2)29% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd date you. Not because of your looks, though I did look at your picture and you are cute. But because I like laid back people. And you sound smart and kind. And it is really a good thing that you are growing up and have a job. A lot of guys who are "growing up" with a job are a**holes where I live. So immature. A lot of people our age just wanna party it up. I had my partying days and am officially through. I'm stuck right where you are my friend. Except it's super cold here. I wish I lived where you are in your picture. Ahhh, I miss summer time :( Good luck!

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    • Why thanks :) always glad to know someone could possibly want me, but that's the thing. The person is never where I live or where I am. As a kid I grew up moving around the entire world, country to country, continent to across the other side of the world. so I lost a lot of friends never could be situated or have roots somewhere. Wish there was a girl that just ran into me 1 day and asked me out lol

What Girls Said 2

  • I am in the same boat, but obviously I'm a woman. The situation you describe is pervasive in our culture, but tends to be even worse for women.

    I have a lot of good personal attributes - both intellectually and as being a good person; yet good guys I meet only seem to want the girls that come onto them in a feisty and aggressive manner no matter what kind of woman she is inside (I'm sure a lot of good women are probably the same); and most "hungry" guys only want me because of my looks.

    It's made me depressed. I try to chat a lot and socialize with what I find to be good men; but they never make the first move. I've began to think that maybe I should; and risk being shot down; and maybe you should. Even though, it's tough as hell because I've lost a lot of confidence from being single for so long and having men only lust at me.

    I know I have a LOT of good personal attributes but I've never had a man tell me he loves me for who I am before; and that makes me wary of making the first move... but I'm gonna end up single for a long time if I don't.

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    • that sucks to hear. I'm a romance guy, sensitive, sweet, would write you hand written letters before you went to school so you could read it at your desk from class to class while walking. That's the kind of guy I am. one that cherishes every girl I date or am in a relationship with seems tho that every girl takes it for granted and dumps me later. so I've been single for like 6 years now. I havnt had a real relationship in 4rever it sucks really bad. If I knew who you really were id appreciate u!

  • hey, it's not easy finding the right one. Not many people know that there are a lot of girl "players" out there, too. I think you should still open up to girls, but, see how she treats you. Don't rush into sex, wait until you are in love :)

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    • hard not to rush into sex when that's the first thing the girl rushes me in for. I'm an object that moves for them not a person. it sucks not to be seen as a person by most women

What Guys Said 3

  • Stop being neurotic, and stop imagining its just because of 'shallow contemporary society'.

    I think everyone (who gets any interest from the opposite gender) feels the way you do about whatever traits it is that people like. Pretty girls want to be appreciated for their personality. Smart guys with good jobs want to be appreciated for their body and masculinity. Smooth talkers want to be appreciated for their souls. Rich guys want to be appreciated for who they are. Guys who are good at sex want to be more then that. Guys who are good boyfriends want to be wanted as sex objects.

    That feeling is normal. In love, we want to be embraced _in our entirety_. We want people to see us as we are, all facets of us, and desire every one of those pieces. We want to be admired, respected, cared for, lusted after, enjoyed, be found funny, etc.

    All of us have good traits (okay most of us). Don't beat yourself up over them. Don't second guess other people for appreciating them. Recognize these are your own insecurities. There's no point hating your 'good qualities'.

    By _all means_ look for a girl who likes who you really are, but don't be bitter about the fact she lusts for your body. Its a hell of a lot better then her NOT lusting for your body.

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  • Ye it is the thing ain't it? I date a super hot girl, she tends to be shallow. I think the best way to get a good relationship is to not place such a big priority on looks. I mean ye make sure she is attractive and you like her but don't seek this stereotypical bimbo, blond, double Ds etc. Although you can go for that but it is just unlikely they will be a real connection, unless you are like her. Anyway I think the best thing is to find someone you genuinely have fun with, that makes you laugh, where your moments are carefree. Not just intense attraction or passion, have someone that is really your friend first. Just my 2 cents. Good luck

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    • A real girl friend. now that's hard to find where I'm at lol and not just some sex friend to date hah

  • Wow you just found an amazing reason to complain about!

    So far you were doing everything correctly, until now!

    The fault is not about those girls the fault is in you because you have no ability to see when the girl is also interested in you! Like a paranoia!

    But you have an option - start hitting McDonalds every day, forget about grooming and exercise and then when you're "ready" go back to the dating scene!

    Good luck finding your dream girl!

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    • thanks man ha ha yeah I've been a bum depressing from being single kills to a limit. hopefully I don't end up on the biggest loser. been watching that to try and keep me from losing myself lol.

      Thanks for the input man you are right, I'm not living the right lifestyle at the moment but trying to dig myself out this hole

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