Girls: Aren't you afraid that a fight with your boyfriend would scare him away?

I'm quite a passive person. So is my boyfriend.

But he did something yesterday that really, really pissed me off. But I still like him very much. We're also kind of in a gray/purgatory zone between dating and relationship.

I kind of want to tell him, hey...that was kinda rude. But I feel like he'd ditch me. Of course, that means it was never meant to be. But aren't you afraid at all? to call him out on something but knowing full well that he will just think you're a b**ch?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nope, but we're not in "a gray/purgatory zone between dating and relationship." A strong, healthy relationship has a foundation that it's been built upon. So even in stormy weather, that foundation holds strong. No couple agrees on everything 100% of the time. There are bound to be misunderstandings and disagreements. And working through those times together builds a stronger bond in the long run. If you're relationship is so unstable that you have to worry about them dumping you over a disagreement, then that doesn't bode well for the relationship.

    Of course there's a difference between arguing over something that's important to you and nagging and nitpicking over every little thing. Obviously if you do the latter any guy will eventually get sick of it. However, if it's something that matters then most guys will understand the need for the argument and won't think you're just being a bitch. If it's something important to you or that you see as a big deal the worst thing you could do is ignore it. Because if he starts to see you as a doormat, you'll get used and treated like one. If you want a healthy relationship then it's important for him to know that you will stand up for yourself when you need to. And if he calls you a bitch and/or breaks up with you over it then you'll know he's not the kind of guy you could be serious with anyway.

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    • And as a side note, if you don't want to come off as a bitch then how you say something is very important. Try to have a calm, understanding tone when you talk to him about whatever's bothering you as opposed to a snippy, accusatory tone.

What Guys Said 1

  • you shouldn't b afraid to tell him about somthin that bothered u

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What Girls Said 4

  • Don't come off as a bitch. Explain what upset you and why. If you argue with him about it, he will put up a defense. You are better coming from the angle of how it affected your feelings. Avoid starting with "you". Try using "I" instead so he is able to sympathize with you and your feelings :)

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  • If you are afraid to express your anger, it will build and turn into resentment. The relationship will certainly end very badly if you allow this.

    In a healthy relationship communication is so very important. Saying, "Hey, that was kind of rude."

    should in no way end a relationship. Sounds like you may have some self esteem issues you need to deal with as well.

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  • Just like amy said..Talk to him about it..but, in a calm and collective manner.

    And, tell him how it affected your feelings.

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  • I think that if your going to b in. relationship with someone you have to be comfortable enough to express your feelings. also every relationship has flights/disagreements, it makes the bond closer. I think it was smart you didn't say anything, but I think you should now. you have had some time to cool off and now you have a vlearvhead. just b honest with him with what annoyed u

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