What is the point anymore?

I take the initiative. I approach guys first (mostly shy guys) first. I risk my heart and pride. And they only get thrown right back in my face. I always try to stay strong and be positive and try again but I'm tired. Sometimes I wonder if I was better off being one of those girls that just waited for things to happen to them. The old fashioned kind. Maybe I was wrong to think I should make opportunities instead of waiting for them. I just don't know anymore.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, I think it's perfectly fine for a woman to be the initiator. In fact, two of my past long-term relationships were with guys whom I walked up to and started talking to first. If you're just being nice and flirtatious and saying hello, a guy would have to be a huge jerk to not be thrilled by that.

    Maybe it's the places you're trying to meet guys that is the problem, and/or the type of guy you're looking for? Maybe try to strike up a conversation somewhere you usually wouldn't, i.e. the grocery store or whatever. Plus, a guy who is shy can be a problem all by itself, because even if you initiate contact, he may never follow up on it even if he IS interested!

    There's also nothing wrong with being one of "those girls" for awhile and sitting back, catching your breath, and letting the world come to you. I'm all for making your own opportunities happen, but sometimes we can try to hard and it can be good to take a little break to let the world catch up with us, and recharge ourselves.

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    • I met them at school which I would think is a good place since they have their education as a priority...That's something I don't get. The most recent guy has shown obvious signs that he liked me and when I ask him out, he doesn't respond. Plus I find that when I sit back, no guy of quality would approach me. Damned if you and damned if you don't, I guess.

What Guys Said 2

  • Guys -who initiate most - know that you get shot down more often then not.

    But if you're always getting shot down, something's wrong. Do you have any male friends you could get honest feedback from?

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    • I do but they don't really help when it comes to this kind of advice.

    • What do they tell you?

    • Well one in particular would say that I should just date around and have flings here and there. But since I've never had a relationship before, having a fling didn't sound like a good idea to me. I understand that I have to keep trying but this one guy particular just screwed me over because he gave me many hints that he liked and then when I write an email asking him out He doesn't reply. I don't get it.

  • Sounds like you is down. Try, instead of coming onto guys, make them feel like its their idea. Be nice to them, flirt but occaisionally, make sure you touch him in a friendly way every now and again. See how he responds. If he is liking it, you'll know. At which point you up the ante.

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What Girls Said 0

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