Should love or sex come first?

I know it sounds like a stupid question. Many of you would say that of course love comes first. However, I and my friends encountered such problem before and sometimes the situation is vice versa.

1. I dated a guy before. Our relationship was very romantic, but I did not agree to have sex with him after 2 months of relationship. He then dumped me for that reason.

2. My girlfriend dated a guy and had sex with him in the early stage of relationship. At that time she did not intend to have a long-term relationship. But they ended up getting married.

Some men told me their love grows after having sex with a girl. Otherwise they feel no connection to lead to love. What do you girls and guys think about this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Love, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex, don't plan on it any time soon and we have an amazing relationship filled with love, respect, and fun. We're constantly trying to please one another in any sort of way we think of, we don't have the typical movie and dinner dates usually, usually we bring a blanket walk through stores looking at different things and being silly go back to our vehicles take out some food and drinks toss the blanket in the back of her truck and have a picnic enjoying everything there is to be enjoyed from the company of one another to the clouds in the sky, not because we can't go out to dinner or to the beach, but because we can, but enjoy this that much more, every moment with one another is special.

    So what I mean to say is to have a truly loving relationship you don't need sex, a passion for one another, yes, but not necessarily sex. You'll find who fits you best when you're just being you, whoever that you is. It will take as many days, weeks, months, or years as it may take to find that special someone, but when it happens the time it took seems to make since and no longer matter and all other trials before help to build you to be the right person for the person that's right for you.

    Anyways, best of luck to you and God bless, ALSO Happy Thanksgiving! =D

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What Guys Said 8

  • Personally, I think sex should happen when you're both comfortable with it. I'll stay with a girl even if the sex isn't there. Sex can wait for quite a while. As for love, love needs to happen on it's own. People need to fall in love at their own speeds without forcing it. I don't think sex necessarily helps with that process.

    Neither one should be rushed or forced. It can't work. I don't think either should necessarily come first, and I don't think you need either one to have the other. I do however think that both are at least a little important to a relationship. I think you need one or the other at some point or another, because in some ways it adds some definition. Otherwise the two people dating are really not much more than friends who (maybe) kiss.

    That's basically it. In short, I think they're both important, but neither should be rushed, and neither should come in any specific order. Sometimes these things just happen, or they don't.

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  • Love. Definitely!

    Sex seals things. If you seal something that you don't really like, than break it => you get pain!

    It can work other way around but I have no desire to try.

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  • I would say they intermingle with each other. Most people want love to come before sex, unless they want a hook up. But also, I would say sex helps two people feel more connected to each other which can help love spark or help the bond between the two. Overall, the two come hand and hand with each other.

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  • Love should develop first and you should show your love in ways that are appropriate for the level you've reached in that relationship, sex being among the last things you move onto.

    I personally don't think I could stay with someone who'd outright refuse sex for all eternity. To me sex is probably among, if not THE ultimate tool to show how much I love someone, so sadly enough I'd feel pretty emotionally handicapped if I couldn't do this with my partner.

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  • A wise man once told me that the only place love comes before sex is in the dictionary.

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  • Love

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  • Love of course

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  • i think that sex turns into love.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I agree with what your friends say.

    You can't automatically jump into a relationship loving someone. It is something that takes time and it is something that grows.

    When you like someone you are having sex with them.

    Over time, as your feelings begin to develop you start to make love to them.

    It is something that happens unconsiously.

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  • I want love to come first. Having sex without being in love has never led to love for me. That's just my experience though. I'm sure sex leads to love for some people.

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    • i also want love to come first, but guys just don't think the same way -.-

  • It is actually a very smart question, since we all have different views on sex and varying sex drives.

    I have a very high sex drive and couldn't fall in love with someone who doesn't have a similar one.

    Sex can tear people apart, as you know, or bring them closer together so it depends on the individual person and each circumstance/dynamic of the couple.

    It sure isn't black and white like some people will tell you.

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