Do you think it's cruel to casually date someone?

like without having any real expectations of a future with the person.

Should you tell the person that it would only be temporary?

and If not do you think that would be like lying?

I'm looking forward to some healthy discussion GaG ;)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • me as a girl always expect a serious relationship. many guys I met before just looked for a casual one but they did not tell me, so I got hurt really bad afterward. therefore if you intend to do so, let the girl know. there will be some results

    - she is interested in casual dating and continues such relationship

    - she feels hurt and decides not to see you anymore

    - she feels hurt but still dates you with the hope of changing your mind

    to me, whatever you do, don't make the girl feel bad about you and think you're a jerk

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What Girls Said 11

  • I think its cruel unless you tell them and they want the same thing. I know I get attached easily. If I found out he was only casually dating me, I'd be destroyed. Some girls might want that though. I think its lying if you knowingly keep it from her.

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  • In a way, I think it is. Most girls don't care because most girls these days have lowered their expectations as long as they've found a guy they're attracted to who is giving them orgasms or they just don't have that much respect for themself as a woman or they're just too emotional to see that the greatest value they have in that man's eyes is a temporary place in his life.

    I don't date casually. If it's not serious, head over heels, magnetic, irresistable love then why even waste my time? There are so many other wonderful things I could be giving my energy instead of wasting it on a man who doesn't even view me as valuable enough to keep around.

    You should tell them otherwise you're really an a**hole who deserves karma at it's worse.

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  • No, I don't think you should tell a person you only want to be temporary because of a few reasons:

    -You could be wrong.

    -You may miss out on knowing a great person.

    -Maybe you would end up friends.

    -In a way you are making her choose, ("it's temporary or nothing")

    I think it is best not to make up your mind before you experiencing something. It's not fair to the other person. I think the same chance should be given to everyone.

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  • No, not cruel. You shouldn't directly say that the person is a temporary date though. That's like saying there's someone out there that I permanently want to be with and it's not you, but I still want to date you to mess with your head. The whole point of dating is see if there is a future with the person you go out on a date with. Hope this helps.

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    • This is true thank you ;)

    • I like this answer a lot. I think she understood exactly where the QA was coming from too. I say that because of this line, "That's like saying there's someone out there that I permanently want to be with and it's not you..."

      Plus one from me. :)

  • How would you know it's temporary or casual? I think it's great when people keep an open mind when dating, and don't concentrate on statuses and labels (because I think they up the pressure and change people). But I think that letting someone know they are a flavour of the month probably won't go down well. I think you shouldn't tell them, but should just concentrate on the "now" and see where it goes. Who knows, maybe you'll change your mind?

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    • I like this answer thank you. I dislike labels placed on things like that too. I just wouldn't want any feelings to be hurt. Some things are inevitable though ;)

    • Very true. I think the better way to approach it would be to say, "let's take it as it comes, and not worry about where it's going or whatever. Just enjoy each others company while it lasts".

    • yeah that sounds cool thanks :)

  • Of course you should.It's always the best that the person in cause knows the deets...and what you want.

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  • No, unless they want something else

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  • No?

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  • It's not cruel, but it's not nice.

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  • yes it is if you don`t open up yourself to them since the begining.

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  • I don't think its cruel if you tell them from the begining that you aren't expect for any commitment or serious relationship...There are so many people who made promises but failed to fullfill it...This one is more cruel...

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What Guys Said 3

  • I wouldn't use the term "cruel". You have to be honest about it, though. If you're only dating them to have something to do on a Friday night and not because you're looking for a relationship with them, you need to tell them that. Otherwise they may get more attached and feel like you're neglecting them.

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  • It is, I would never date someone unless I can see myself with them for a long time.

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  • It is my personal opinion that you should let someone know what they are getting themselves into and not lead them on and play with their emotions. If you are just looking to sleep around do one night stands or friends with benefits. It's OK to causal date as in a fling also, so long as they know that's what it is. Whenever you start dating someone (courting), if it lasts past a few dates the perceived idea is that you find them interesting and you are working towards building a relationship with them. You have to have the talk of what we are eventually, so in that moment just tell them that's how you see them... If they say, oh and say they want more then move on... You should not give people false reassurance and move along a relationship path just because it is comfortable. =/

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