How do you text or email someone you want to date?

I am good at talking to people face to face. I have no problem striking up conversations with strangers, both men and women. But once I get their number or email, I always mess things up.

My question has 2 parts:

1. How do two people who are interested in each other text or email? How often? And when you were dating this great guy or gal, how did you two communicate in texts or emails (especially in the early stages)?

2. What shouldn't a guy say or act like when texting or emailing (in the early stages)?

Maybe this will help you think: sweet talking? Small talk? Flirting? Short and to the point? Compliments?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. I would start out slow. Maybe text them in the afternoon with a simple "Hey", it gets them knowing that you were thinking about them. If they text back, great. Keep the convo going, but don't reply too fast. Wait a few minutes. Once you both get comfortable with talking, you'll be able to feel it out. Once you know for sure that they like you and you both are initiating conversation, sending a "goodmorning beautiful. hope you have a great day" is really sweet. I love when a guy does that.

    2. In the early stages, it's best to not sound clingy or possessive. Be casual. Have fun. There is no rush! :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think it should be a mixture of sweet and small talking at first.. every person thinks different in such cases, maybe she doesn't like obstruvely approaches.. be gently and ask her how she is doing and show her that you care about her.. you should give her a feeling of reliability and trust..

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What Guys Said 2

  • If your just starting to talk to a girl, do more than just text. You don't have to call every time, but if your relationship is strictly based on text conversation it could be very awkward when you see each other in person.

    As far as part one for your question: It should be relatively smooth and enjoyable. Personally I would always start to flirt and just make the conversation fun. If your texting though, don't have a deep conversation. If you both are enjoying a text conversation say you have to go, and that you enjoyed talking to her, then make plans to meet up. When you meet with her finish the conversation in person.

    ESPECIALLY in the early stages: Do not text her a lot looking to just talk. (It comes off as very needy/clingy) Keep it relatively short and use texting for light conversation and making plans. Calling is better although some girls don't like to talk on the phone.

    Part 2: You can't possibly know what to say in a future conversation. I've tried it and it never worked. Just keep things fun and flirt with her. If she has fun talking with you I guarantee she will want to talk more.

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  • A lot of people will think it's weired to make a lot of cyber contact when you're interested in someone. They'll think you're compulsively shy or something. I'd say make 2 face to face contactts for eery 1 cyber contact, as a rule of thumb.

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