How do you just take things slow?

Here's my situation, I've been seeing this girl for the last 3 weeks or so, we've hung out a few times and went on a couple dates, but I would not really consider her my girl friend or vice versa. My problem is that I think she is still feeling me out and isn't quite sure if I'm what she is looking for. I have no problem with this, it's just that every relationship I've been in, I've pretty much gone from 1st date to boyfriend and girlfriend right afterward. She knows that I like her and has even agreed on a 3rd date, but I can tell she just wants to take things really slow. Seeing as I'm not really used to taking things slow, I'm not really sure what this means, do I talk to her everyday or give her enough breathing room as to not come off as clingy? Do I wait for her to make the first move as far as moving our "relationship" further? I know these are probably just simple/common sense questions/concerns, but these are definitely new waters for me


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I disagree with the anonymous guy. Don't play games, and don't date other girls if you really like her. If I found out that someone I was dating (and was pretty serious about) was also seeing other girls, I'd drop him. I have enough respect for myself to not tolerate that, even though the current convention seems to be that when you're dating you can see multiple girls at once. I will only date the guys who are genuinely interested in me, and only me.

    This doesn't mean that you should talk to her 5 hours a day, of course. Maybe a short conversation every day? If she seems busy and has to go during these conversations, make it every other day.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I can empathize with her, I'm usually very guarded and wouldn't jump straight into an exclusive relationship after 1 date. It's only been 2 official dates, just continue to pay attention to her. So far, if you've been calling her every day, continue to do so, unless you know she's really busy. For me, going slow is so that I can have time to think things through, to be sure you are someone I want to have a long term relationship with, so it's not whether you call everyday (I'd like that though) but not pushing her to make a commitment or get too physical without some cues from her. It really is early days. :)

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  • It's new waters for you,however if you really like her,i would suggest giving her time.Some people are more gaurded than others.Not everyone moves fast and you must accept that because everyone is different.Communication is key,and so is rationality.Its ONLY been a very short period of time.For once,take things slow and see where it goes.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Active Apathy, I call it

    Don't talk to her every day.

    Be slow in returning texts.

    Date 1 day a week max.

    And start dating other girls. For some reason, it will make you irresistable to this chick.

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    • I disagree. Some girls like to take things slow...an effort to sort someone out.If he starts playing "games",that could easily result in her not wanting to deal with him anymore.

    • And, what does "take it slow" mean then?

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