I thought guys liked girls to take initiative but it doesn't seem that way?

So I'm on this online dating site and people say "Guys like it when girls take initiative". Many guys messaged me and said they were interested, so I figured, why not take the plunge and message some guys that I am interested in?

So I messaged a few. A lot of them haven't read the messages yet, but a few did, and they haven't gotten back to me. Maybe some don't respond right away, I often wait a few days to respond to mine.

But why won't they answer? I'm attractive and I have a good profile. And they say they want messages, but they don't reply. I don't get it? Just getting frustrated. I figured I'd be different and initiate things for once, and all I'm seeing is that it's not worth it.

Thanks guys. I'm not trying to brag I just have confidence, I'm an attractive girl. I am one of the younger ones on the site which puts me at a disadvantage..I'm 20 and a lot of guys want someone whose minimum age is somewhere between 21 and 24..so I guess that puts me out a bit. But some of them do sound like they would like a girl like me...and the guys who messaged me first all told me I have a great profile and all that..so I guess I'm just discouraged :/


Most Helpful Guy

  • They will.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • keep in mind that on singles sites ,the most crap a guy gets in his inbox from so called interested female members is all kinds of weird fake profiles trying to sell all kinds of creepy sh*t, from phone sex to russian brides.

    So as a guys trawling through his inbox he can be forgiven for deleting an uninitiated message from some one.


What Girls Said 3

  • You either are going for guys who don't see you as their type or you're going for the guys who don't use their profile that much.

  • I think it depends on the guy- some like it, some don't. I think for the most part (in my opinion) guys like to do the pursuing.

    Anyway, I feel like this is a good thing. if ONE guy out of that group replies, then you've found the one that likes you back.

    • Yeah I agree. I guess I just figured that I'm paying for a month so I might as well. I hate pursuing guys, but since they are strangers it doesn't matter as much.

    • Just be patient. You sound like an awesome girl. :)

    • Aw thank you! You just took me a bit out of the bad mood funk I'm in :)

  • i think they say they like it and in theory it SOUNDS good, but in reality they like the chase and I also think we like to be chased and don't really enjoy the rejection that goes along with doing the chasing (which is something guys just get used to/are more familiar with and we're uncomfortable with...just like you're seeing lol)