Will this make him change his mind?

My ex and I have been working on moving forward and trying again since he cheated on me. He planned this fancy date for this weekend and told me that he wants me to wear a dress and heels. Well, last night I told him that while we were single, I spoke to a couple of guys in a sexual manner. It was right after we broke up and I found out he had cheated twice and I felt used and vulnerable and thought that praise from other guys would make me feel better. I have not talked to them in over a month and will not talk to them again. He is really upset about it and I am worried he is going to not want to try with me and not go on a date with me now. What do I do?

I did not cheat, he cheated and then I spoke to boys in a sexual way AFTER him and I broke up. I have not cheated and never will, and I know he feel awful about what he did to me. I don't want to hear things on how I shouldn't trust him again and "He cheated once, he will do it again" I want to know what to do to make him feel better about me talking to boys while we were single. I need to him understand I still love him and he is still special.


Most Helpful Girl

  • So he cheated on your twice, and you spoke to guys in a sexually explicit way, and HE'S upset? You've got to be joking me. I actually kind of wish you had sex with other men since you wouldn't have been doing anything wrong. Just tell him that him cheating on you felt like a way to tell you to be single, like really. Ugh this bothers me so much!


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What Guys Said 3

  • He needs to get over it. You're the offended party and if he's that jealous, he should readily understand that you needed comfort after he wrecked your relationship. Tell him to just let it go.

    You asked to not hear this but I have to say that the odds of him cheating again at some point are very high so you need to decide if you're up for dealing with that. Don't want you going all Lorena Bobbit on him.

  • I think you should not go to this date. Instead of thinking "fair enough", he's mad at you, showing he didn't learn the lesson. He will probably cheat on you at the first occasion.

    • What do you mean "fair enough"?

    • Well you broke up, you decided to get in touch with other men, it's all fair I think. What did he want you to do. Cry all night and day long with his picture in his hand? He was caught cheating on you, you had the right not to accept it.

      Now he's upset, because he thinks you did out of the relationship what he did during it.

      So he's not respecting you, that's all.

  • Nothing. You did the right thing. It's normal for a cheater to feel insecure about being cheated on themselves. In their heart of hearts, they think if it's impossible for them not to cheat, it's also impossible for their partners not to cheat.

    • I didn't cheat?

    • i never said you did.

      It's normal for him (the cheater) to feel insecure. He will think it's impossible for you not to cheat.

      So you mentioning these other guys, puts him on an insecure footing. Even though you did nothing wrong.

What Girls Said 2

  • I have seen your update but excuse me? He cheated on you not just once, but twice, and you merely TALKED to other guys AFTER you found out he cheated on you and AFTER you dumped him and you feel the need to find ways to make him feel better? Have some respect for yourself, seriously. I know this isn't what you want to hear but my goodness, get a grip. This certainly sounds like an incredibly unhealthy and destructive relationship.

  • You did nothing wrong. You can do whatever you want when you are single. He's the one that did wrong. If he gets upset about this or it jeopardizes the two of you getting back together then he is not worth it.