Will my bad experience in the past ruin trusting my new guy?

I have just come out of a 4 month relationship with someone who I thought was the love of my life (you always do when you're young, right?) I met him when he was still with his girlfriend, and when he was supposedly with me after they had split up, he was sleeping with her and 4 other girls which I knew nothing about. I have been taken for a fool and everyone is probably laughing at me. I feel nothing for him he could die for all I care I am over him so much. But I am not over what he did to me. It has scarred me mentally and drained me physically. He was my first boyfriend and the first person I slept with so it meant something to me :(

But moving on from low lifes, my brothers friend immediately showed interest in me straight after everything was over. And there has been mild flirting between the two of us for years. He is so sweet and I honestly can see it being the making of us two. I have never got on with someone so well in my life. He has an amazing job in his family business with a company car and a lovely family all at the age of 18. I can see us being together for a really long time but at the moment we're just dating. My brother has accepted it and thinks we will be perfect together. The only problem right now is I have major trust issues do to what I have just come out of :(. He has no concerns and I know I probably don't have any reason to be paranoid all the time. But he works extremely long hours at the moment with it being Christmas. He sometimes doesn't text me back. I think its to due with he gets home and goes to sleep because of working like a slave for the last few weeks. It drives me up the wall and I am always paranoid :( How can I learn to trust him and know he is genuine? Because I know deep down he is I'm just a paranoid wreck. Please someone help me :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • These things take time. You're a paranoid wreck now because that horrible guy is so fresh in your memory, but trust me- you learn to forget the past. My current girlfriend hurt me very badly by sleeping with one of my friends and then saying she "settled" for me, but 2 years later that incident means nothing to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with my girl.

    The point is, you will get over this. You just need time. In the meantime you're going to be a bit paranoid- which is completely reasonable considering your situation. It'll suck but the pain will transform you into a better person in the end.

    And just for the record, I hope that guy who broke your heart burns in fiery hell for all of eternity. ;)

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    • Thank you I hope the same thing happens to him :) And thankyou for the advice! I really want it to work this time, but I can't stop myself from thinking things. I think after Xmas when work has calmed down I will see more of him and we will be fine (well I hope it goes this way!)

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    • No that's not what love is made of that's whay settling is made of face it you're a p**** and you had to convince yourself you're not

    • Noooooo! You've made me realize the truth! I let a woman have power over me! I can never call myself a man again! Thank you so much for pulling the rug out from under me! Now I can go get a boob job and embrace my life as a p****. You're the best, dudeman.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 3

  • Is the guy you been with from long island new york?

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  • How old was the guy in your before 4months relationship? and how did you find out that he slept with his girlfriend and 4other girls.. why did you start in the first place a relationship when you knew he had a girlfriend? I mean is obvious that he will always have many girls... and the boy you have now you should try to trust more I mean you guys are just dating isn't it? how old are you by the way?

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    • Im 18, my new guys 18 and the old one was 20. We didn't start why he had a girlfriend nothing had happened until they supposedly broke up.

    • but that's already really bad I mean I wouldn't start a relationship with a guy which is still with a girl together that's just not normal even if the guy says that he is going to break up with her.. don't belive everything what a man says because the most of them are just about to bring you in their bed.. there are some which are not like that but that kinda boys try to get to know you more try to spend time with you without thinking just about sex..

    • Obviously I know I have made mistakes and I was a fool who was in love with someone for the first time, So if you're trying to make me feel better you're really not helping me.

  • it shouldn't. Remember every guy is different, there are nice ones and mean ones. Good luck

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