I've never been on a date.

I'm 18, and I've never been on a date! I've hung out with guys before, but no one has ever said "Hey, would you like to go out with me on friday night?" or "I would really like to take you on a date". What makes a date a date anyway?

Anyway, I'm really distraught over this. I don't think I'm ugly, and I know I have an awesome personality...i was talking with my friends when dating came up in convo. And then I realized that I had never been asked on a date! How unusual is it to be 18, and to never have never gone on a date?


Most Helpful Guy

  • What makes a date a date is different for everyone. People posting here will give you 200 different answers. My view of dating has always been pretty cut and dry. I consider it a date when I'm interested in the person as someone I would like to be in a relationship with. I have friends that are girls that I have no interest in and we all just understand that we are just going out to have fun. Dating has changed radically in our world and people now try new and different ideas. But it all kind still has the same meaning I would think. If you like a guy, or a girl if that's what your into, then you go out for coffee or dinner, or whatever. Your both learning things about each other by engaging each others senses. Again for the cheap seats and the Napoleon Dynamites that can;t think critically, this is my opinion on the subject. Oh, and 1 more thing. It doesn't really matter that your 18 and you are still date free. What is 18, aside from your age? Who cares! You should date when you feel comfortable and ready to do so. If you look at it from some time line kind of mentality, you won't enjoy it as much. So take your time. And if that doesn't work, then let me know. Ill take you on a date. Dress warm with comfy shoes because your going to get your ass kicked at some mini-golf! =) I hope this helps. You'll be just fine I think. - J


What Guys Said 25

  • I don't think it's too unusual to be 18 and not have been taken out on a date before. You got to take into account (lol, I feel like Sherlock Holmes. . . "I deduce" haha) back to business, you got to think that most guys get their licenses around 16, 17, 18, years old. And they get a car, and job around the same time or soon after that. So if by 19 and you don't. . . nah, lol, just messin with ya. But it takes a few things to be put in place usually to take out a girl - job: cause someone got to have money for the bill, car: taken you out implies "picking you up?" right? and an idea of a place to go. Usually by 18 guys are trying to put the three things together. So I have faith that if no guy has been lucky to take you out, it'll happen sometime soon. Some things take time, and an eye to watch out for them.

  • Well, it's been awhile since I was in high school, but even then dating has sort of shifted to hanging out.

    At any rate, a date would be when two people (or two pairs of people in the case of a double date...) do something together with the intent of finding out if they would work as partners. (Okay, more a definition of a first date...)

    Note, going to a party with someone would be a date. Or going to a dance like the prom.

    As long as people are paired off, a bunch of people going to the movies would be a date also. (Even though it might be called hanging out.)

    Being in high school and not being on a date is not that unusual. Or at least formal dates.

    (And I bet that some of the times you've hanged out with guys were casual dates...)

  • How unusual is it? Eh, doesn't sound that unusual. I know plenty of people like that. It's probably no big deal, I guess it depends on how you feel about it. I wouldn't be distraught, guys tend to get more social as they get older, just be careful of the players.

  • "What makes a date a date anyway?"

    It's just an agreed upon time you and the other person make to spend time together. there are no rules on where or what you should do. It should just be a place or event you both enjoy doing or participating in.

    Its also a good way to get to know someone since you are both officially "on a date" that means no one is supposed to bother you. If you see a freind and they walk up to you to talk you just tell them "hey, I'm on a date now" then they are supposed to walk away and leave you two alone.

    For instance if you and your prospect are just "Hangin' out" then anyone can come hang out with you two and join the mix. I guess it doesn't matter whethere you two consider being together a date or not, you are both going to talk to each other the same way, being on a "date" is just an official way of telling other people to leave you both alone.

    hope that makes sense.

  • Remember what I was saying about religion?

    • Obviously guys who only want sex won't date me, and I realize that the majority of guys my age are like that. So in a sense, you make a valid point, but I'm actually talking about guys that meet my standards.

    • Oh so you're talking about somebody kinda like me? Don't let my prickely exterior fool you, I'm a very accepting person.

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What Girls Said 14

  • I don't think it's you. Honestly, I think it's just our generation as a whole, because 'dating' and relationships are a lot more casual than they used to be. Takes all the romance out of everything. =P I feel you though. I've never been asked out on an 'official' date either. I've had 'things' with a few guys, and a serious boyfriend, but no dates. Not even like, implied dates. I'm always left wondering, haha. It's never like, "Do you want to go ____ with me on __ day? Meet you there at ___. Pick you up at ___," etc. It's always "What are you doing tomorrow? Do you want to hang out?" But I say that to my friends, so it doesn't feel 'official' if that makes sense. It's too sloppy and vague. I'm sure you know what I mean, haha. I like the idea that someone has planned something for me, just because they like me. Especially if they're normally a very spontaneous person, because planning isn't normal for them, so it shows that they really like you and want to do something nice for you even though it's out of character to plan it out. But it hasn't happened yet.

    A date being two people who like each other, hanging out doing whatever at an agreed-upon time, by themselves. Unless it's a double date. Just hanging out with someone you like is different in that you'd feel bad ditching a mutual friend you run into. Whereas on a date, you're on a date, and it's about the two of you, so you wouldn't invite the friend to hang out with you, haha.

  • I didn't go on an official first date until I was 25. Trust me, they can be fun, but usually they're just awkward if you don't really know the person well. Don't feel unusual for having not been on a date. It's not a sign you're ugly or unworthy. It's probably more likely that you're just shy and men tend to be afraid of being rejected when it comes to simply asking a woman on a date-date. My advice if it's still bothering you in the future, ask a friend to set you up on a date with a nice guy, and then don't worry about the outcome. No matter what happens you'll still be able to say you've at least been on one date in your life. Personally, I enjoy non-dates more. There's less pressure and you both have more fun in the end!

  • dates are stressful and nerve wracking anyways.

    you're lucky. hahha

  • happens to the best of us!

    Just be patient, approachable, and let your personality glow. They'll come!

  • In my opinion, this is completely normal! I've never been on a date myself (I'm also 18). I've never so much as touched a guy before! From what I have heard, it's a date if one person picks up the tab for whatever it is that you did (doesn't have to be dinner).

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