I've never been on a date.

I'm 18, and I've never been on a date! I've hung out with guys before, but no one has ever said "Hey, would you like to go out with me on friday night?" or "I would really like to take you on a date". What makes a date a date anyway?

Anyway, I'm really distraught over this. I don't think I'm ugly, and I know I have an awesome personality...i was talking with my friends when dating came up in convo. And then I realized that I had never been asked on a date! How unusual is it to be 18, and to never have never gone on a date?


Most Helpful Guy

  • What makes a date a date is different for everyone. People posting here will give you 200 different answers. My view of dating has always been pretty cut and dry. I consider it a date when I'm interested in the person as someone I would like to be in a relationship with. I have friends that are girls that I have no interest in and we all just understand that we are just going out to have fun. Dating has changed radically in our world and people now try new and different ideas. But it all kind still has the same meaning I would think. If you like a guy, or a girl if that's what your into, then you go out for coffee or dinner, or whatever. Your both learning things about each other by engaging each others senses. Again for the cheap seats and the Napoleon Dynamites that can;t think critically, this is my opinion on the subject. Oh, and 1 more thing. It doesn't really matter that your 18 and you are still date free. What is 18, aside from your age? Who cares! You should date when you feel comfortable and ready to do so. If you look at it from some time line kind of mentality, you won't enjoy it as much. So take your time. And if that doesn't work, then let me know. Ill take you on a date. Dress warm with comfy shoes because your going to get your ass kicked at some mini-golf! =) I hope this helps. You'll be just fine I think. - J


What Guys Said 25

  • I don't think it's too unusual to be 18 and not have been taken out on a date before. You got to take into account (lol, I feel like Sherlock Holmes. . . "I deduce" haha) back to business, you got to think that most guys get their licenses around 16, 17, 18, years old. And they get a car, and job around the same time or soon after that. So if by 19 and you don't. . . nah, lol, just messin with ya. But it takes a few things to be put in place usually to take out a girl - job: cause someone got to have money for the bill, car: taken you out implies "picking you up?" right? and an idea of a place to go. Usually by 18 guys are trying to put the three things together. So I have faith that if no guy has been lucky to take you out, it'll happen sometime soon. Some things take time, and an eye to watch out for them.

  • Well, it's been awhile since I was in high school, but even then dating has sort of shifted to hanging out.

    At any rate, a date would be when two people (or two pairs of people in the case of a double date...) do something together with the intent of finding out if they would work as partners. (Okay, more a definition of a first date...)

    Note, going to a party with someone would be a date. Or going to a dance like the prom.

    As long as people are paired off, a bunch of people going to the movies would be a date also. (Even though it might be called hanging out.)

    Being in high school and not being on a date is not that unusual. Or at least formal dates.

    (And I bet that some of the times you've hanged out with guys were casual dates...)

  • How unusual is it? Eh, doesn't sound that unusual. I know plenty of people like that. It's probably no big deal, I guess it depends on how you feel about it. I wouldn't be distraught, guys tend to get more social as they get older, just be careful of the players.

  • "What makes a date a date anyway?"

    It's just an agreed upon time you and the other person make to spend time together. there are no rules on where or what you should do. It should just be a place or event you both enjoy doing or participating in.

    Its also a good way to get to know someone since you are both officially "on a date" that means no one is supposed to bother you. If you see a freind and they walk up to you to talk you just tell them "hey, I'm on a date now" then they are supposed to walk away and leave you two alone.

    For instance if you and your prospect are just "Hangin' out" then anyone can come hang out with you two and join the mix. I guess it doesn't matter whethere you two consider being together a date or not, you are both going to talk to each other the same way, being on a "date" is just an official way of telling other people to leave you both alone.

    hope that makes sense.

  • Remember what I was saying about religion?

    • Obviously guys who only want sex won't date me, and I realize that the majority of guys my age are like that. So in a sense, you make a valid point, but I'm actually talking about guys that meet my standards.

    • Oh so you're talking about somebody kinda like me? Don't let my prickely exterior fool you, I'm a very accepting person.

  • Okay so I figured out your problem. Guess what happened? I checked your profile pictures and it's a no-brainer. The big truth - you are TOO beautiful/pretty. Unless you look approachable in your attitude and personality you would be quite intimidating to 99% guys. And among those would would have the courage would always tend to act a little nervous. Haha. So you need to be a little open to approach and be a little active in hinting like making eye contact and smiling. Work on those and you are done. Duh!

    A word of warning - Your problem comes with an additional problem which you would experience soon in life. You would find that the guys who would ask you out would always be jerks. Why? Because most of the guys who won't be intimidated by you would be the cocky jerks (not all but most). And you would meet a lot of these soon. So be careful.

  • first off ryelee, ur way too pretty to not have gone on a date before =). but yeah where have you been all of high school, in the bathrooms avoiding guys, cause ur situation seems kinda different to me. but I gues what makes a date a date is the chance that the guy wants to possibly go up the next level with u, and not just hang out and chill. I'm no expert at dis stuff but I tried.

    i hope dis helps

  • Its not that akward, luckily it sounds like you have a good self esteem. Maybe the guys you're hanging out with are shy or something along those lines. Try initiating a date yourself, for example say we should get some coffee sometime or something along those lines (just make it small so it doesn't sound akward and sketchy) most guys if they like you will try to set up for a day 2, as in ask for something more official whether it be movies or dinner.

    gl to ya.


  • Guys don't like cats :(

  • You don't think you're ugly? Guys like girls who know they are beautiful; not the shit, or the best thing out there, or the hottest stuff, but just comfortable with who they are. If you like yourself, they will too.

    • But I don't think I'm ugly? lol

  • Yeah I have not been on one ever myself and I'm 17 so I don't think its unusual atall ,for your age but I find it unbeliveable no one would have taken you on a date before , I would think guys must be mad not to take you out ,what about the guy you were going to perform a song for? ,im sure sombody will soon but no its not unusual. Hope I helped

    • I adore him. We are pretty much inseparable, but he's never asked me on a date....like maybe I have been dating him, and I just don't know it? lol!

  • Are you in college? Myself and many of my friends had meaningful relationships in college where neither of them would consider the copious amounts of time they spent together as "dating" but they were actually getting the quality time they needed with no pressure because they didn't look at it as "dating." If you want that sort of ..."lets go to dinner Friday" just remember, when you get that it may turn out bad or awkward because of it formality. Just my humble opinion.

  • A lot of the time people end up in relationships without the dating part because they get to know people through other circumstances. It doesn't mean anything that you haven't been on a date, so don't worry about it ;)

  • Ryelee,

    Thanks for answering some of my old questions.

    Please don't be distraught over not going out on a date yet. I think that I was your age before I went out on my first official date. Usually it was a small group hanging out.

    Soon you will be in college & you will find the guys there much more mature & more willing to take a chance on asking a great looking girls out. They won't be so afraid (all guys are) to be rejected. Play the field a bit. Don't be "exclusive" with the first guy.

    What's wrong with you asking someone out?

    • I guess I'm just SUPER old fashioned. I mean I go out with guys all of the time, and I've had boyfriends....but I've never been on an "official date". What do you consider an official date? lol

    • Show All
    • I guess I've just never had the whole spontaneous "Hi I'm so and so, and I would really like to take you out this friday night" "Pick you up at 7?"

      Like the classic movies! haha .....unrealistic?

    • Well a bit unrealistic. Like we wrote before a lot of guys are probably intimidated by your beauty thinking that she has got to have a boyfriend.

      Are you looking for a stranger or an acquaintance to just come over & "hit" on you?

      So technically you have had dates & been on dates.

      Again I don't know if your in H.S. or college but I'm sure that when you get to college there will be a lot of guys coming by with cheesy pick up lines & YES asking would you like to go out this weekend

  • I am 19 and I have never gone on a date before. I am sure the right guy is there waiting to meet you.

  • dont worry about it... be patient, itll come to you when you least expect it

  • I'm 17 and never been on a date and probably won't go on one any time soon, so I don't think it's a big deal. Being shy sucks. I think part of your not being asked out is your looks. I look at your profile pics and wonder how a girl who looks like that can be single. I think a lot of guys do the same thing. They see this amazing girl and partly because of that, they think she's taken. I know I'm not the best looking guy out there so that makes it even worse for me. I usually think she's way out of my league and some other guy has beaten me to her.

  • I'm in the same boat you are...except I'm a guy. Girls laugh and giggle, but are actually scared to to talk to me. It's weird. I guess their just nervous.

    Your very attractive, most guys are probably intimidated by your looks. Most of them don't have to guts to ask you out. It's a self confidence issue among guys, I think. If I had the chance, I'd def take you out on a date.

    Most guys think your taken. Most guys assume very attractive=stuck up. things like that.

    In truth, I think it happens to guys like myself. Girls think the more attractive guys=stuck up,

    It's the friendly attractive people who get the short end of the stick...and there are a lot them out there.

    Your def frustrated that you have a lot to offer, but nobody sees it. It's just the fact that people do not know how to deal with it.

    Good Luck.

  • ask a guy you like.

  • Your young, that's all, and its not unusual at 18 not to be asked on a date. I mean I'm 20 and I haven't really asked a girl. Guys are probably just scared because your beautiful and afraid you'll turn them down. So don't worry

  • I never say the word date unless it's a joke or something. Like I went out to eat with a female roommate and asked her if she wanted to go on a date but it's definitely not like that. Otherwise it's just hang out or go do this or that. I guess when a girlfriend and I go out it's a date but other than that I dono. Don't worry about it. Nobody's ever asked me out on a date either ;)

  • I wonder if you are a real person? That photo of you in the red dress looks too Hollywood! I looks like you were at a movie premiere! That is kind of strange that you have not been on a official date. Wait until you go to college you will have a lot of guys that will want to "DATE"

    • Hahaha! yes, I'm a real person =P

      I mean, I go out with guys often but they never ask me in a formal way. Is that too old fashioned or something?

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    • Hmmm interesting...so when guys ask me to "hang out" that is equivalent to asking me on a date?

    • Hanging out, huh? Does that mean I date guys then?!?!

  • Try being a 23 year old male who's never been on a date.

  • Sometimes, it can be a grey area whether it is a date or not. If he kises you or makes a move, that pretty much proves it's a date, but if he doesn't, it can be hard to say. Friends go out and do things together, sometimes one or both isn't sure what the other wants.


What Girls Said 14

  • I don't think it's you. Honestly, I think it's just our generation as a whole, because 'dating' and relationships are a lot more casual than they used to be. Takes all the romance out of everything. =P I feel you though. I've never been asked out on an 'official' date either. I've had 'things' with a few guys, and a serious boyfriend, but no dates. Not even like, implied dates. I'm always left wondering, haha. It's never like, "Do you want to go ____ with me on __ day? Meet you there at ___. Pick you up at ___," etc. It's always "What are you doing tomorrow? Do you want to hang out?" But I say that to my friends, so it doesn't feel 'official' if that makes sense. It's too sloppy and vague. I'm sure you know what I mean, haha. I like the idea that someone has planned something for me, just because they like me. Especially if they're normally a very spontaneous person, because planning isn't normal for them, so it shows that they really like you and want to do something nice for you even though it's out of character to plan it out. But it hasn't happened yet.

    A date being two people who like each other, hanging out doing whatever at an agreed-upon time, by themselves. Unless it's a double date. Just hanging out with someone you like is different in that you'd feel bad ditching a mutual friend you run into. Whereas on a date, you're on a date, and it's about the two of you, so you wouldn't invite the friend to hang out with you, haha.

  • I didn't go on an official first date until I was 25. Trust me, they can be fun, but usually they're just awkward if you don't really know the person well. Don't feel unusual for having not been on a date. It's not a sign you're ugly or unworthy. It's probably more likely that you're just shy and men tend to be afraid of being rejected when it comes to simply asking a woman on a date-date. My advice if it's still bothering you in the future, ask a friend to set you up on a date with a nice guy, and then don't worry about the outcome. No matter what happens you'll still be able to say you've at least been on one date in your life. Personally, I enjoy non-dates more. There's less pressure and you both have more fun in the end!

  • dates are stressful and nerve wracking anyways.

    you're lucky. hahha

  • happens to the best of us!

    Just be patient, approachable, and let your personality glow. They'll come!

  • In my opinion, this is completely normal! I've never been on a date myself (I'm also 18). I've never so much as touched a guy before! From what I have heard, it's a date if one person picks up the tab for whatever it is that you did (doesn't have to be dinner).

  • Dont worry about it. Your only 18 and you have soo much ahead of you. I haven't been on a date in awhile either but I'm too busy. The time will come. But for now, live it up!

  • ok so I looked at you pics and you're really pretty! maybe guys are too intimidated to ask you out because they think they'll be rejected. if you're interested in a guy, try to flirt with him a lot and be extra friendly so it'll be more obvious that you like him and he won't get burned if he asks you on a date.

  • Don't feel so bad plus you seem like a nice person maybe they're just shy to take it to the next level.

    From my experiences, guys usually pass me along. From what I've heard it's because I was too sweet and sometimes guys don't know how to handle a girl who is sweet who has a good head on her shoulders. In some ways, it can be intimidating. So yeah...most of them left me for someone who was really selfish and just mean...I don't get it either...so I guess we're in the same boat. Obviously I don't know you but maybe my experience can help you if this sounds like you.

    Either way, goodluck and you will find someone regardless =].

    • I haven't been on a date before either basically and sometimes I start to wonder what is wrong with me.

  • Don't worry I'm 22 and I've never been on an official date. I'm not positive, but a lot of people now a days probably haven't had a date. It's usually hang out, relationship, hang out more. Guys don't think to ask you to go on a date anymore. It'll happen it. Maybe mention it to someone before you actually date them and I bet they would love to take you out on a date. (I'm not saying ask him to just subtly mention it.

  • It's ok to be 18 and not been a date. My first date was just a few months after I turned 21. It didn't bother me because I figured I'd find a guy eventually. I did and all my friends think we're really good together.

    I suggest that if you find a guy you like, just ask him out. Maybe to a movie or dinner, whatever you want.

  • i'm almost 18 and never been on a date either, this so called date with my bf.. he took me to mcdonald's and I just wached him eat ( he offered but still)wtf. akward don't sweat it, we have the rest of our lives to go on dates ;)

  • Don't feel bad! I'm in first year university, and its the first time I've been asked out. I've already been on 2 dates with different guys and this had never happened to me before. I would have to agree with everyone else, that maybe it is just an intimidation factor. So take that as a compliment! And maybe you should be the one to initiate the date. :) Some guys are just on the shy side and actually really like it when a girl nudges him in the right direction.

  • i'm 18 and just went on my first! the thing is that you can't just sit around and wait for the guy...if you see a guy you are interested in, warm up to him and if he doesn't ask you, ask him yourself. I know it's pretty nerve wracking (just did it myself) but like other things in life you can't sit and wait for them to come to you, you have to go get it yourself sometimes! good luck! you're not alone!

  • 20. never been on a date. =/ sigh.