I asked out this girl whose a little outta my league, not hopelessly so though. and I just want her to find me interesting and intelligent and maybe make her like me so I can get a second date. I really like her, and haven't dated for a long time so any help is appreciated thanks
How do I get a second date?
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My own personal date tips... the DON"Ts of dating
DON'T be a Drill Sargent: Sure, women love to talk about themselves but they enjoy a mental break every now and again as well. If all you're doing is asking her questions and not giving any information about you then she's going to feel that she is carrying the entire weight of the date on her solders. It's tedious and opposite of what you should be trying to achieve. Think fun and light.
DON'T focus of the negatives of any situation: Never talk about your ex's. Never talk about how your father developed Alzheimer's and how heavy a burden it was on the family. Never talk about how you hate your job or how you're not satisfied with where you are in life. That's adding weight onto her shoulders. No one likes it when people offload all their problems onto them. It's the opposite of fun and light which is the obeisance you're trying to achieve.
DON'T be afraid to break the physical contact barrier: You can't be acting all calm and reclusive. You've got to show her you are capable of a mature relationship and she needs to feel you find her attractive and interesting. With women that's done more with the senses and emotions then with words. Don't be afraid to set her a little on edge with "acceptable" but "questionable" contact. Open the date with a light kiss on the cheek. Guide her through the door with you hand placed on her lower back. Wrap your arm around her, pull her in close, and whisper into her ear.
DON'T reveal everything about yourself: Women love a good puzzle and they want to feel like you're offering them value for their time. They like it when they feel there is something to be found and discovered in you. Do this by avoiding and steering around certain topics. Maybe your childhood for instance. It doesn't even have to be because you genuinely don't want to talk about it, just so long as she thinks there something being hidden from her. Just like with a good book you need to leave the reader, in this instance your date, wanting to know more.
DON'T be afraid to challenge her: When she makes stance on anything, challenge it. Women do this to men all the time and it's a form of communication that goes out on a whole 'nother level. It's telling her that you're independent and have a mind of your own. You have standards and expectations and you refuse to compromise yourself. It also has other applications but keep it simple for now. If she says, as an example, "I hate guys that watch p*rn" you say, "well then you're not going to like me because I watch allot of p*rn. I've got a scene playing in my head right now with you and that waitress over there, and I've got to say, you're very good" (make this sarcastic or she may castrate you on the spot). Don't be afraid to have fun with this rule and make it playful.
p.s. They should add another XPER redemption feature that allows you to post responses with a larger character limit. I've got 0 characters left and plenty more to tips to give.0
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