Coming off as desperate?

Basically I went on a few dates with a girl and it seemed like things were going good. So invited her to an upcoming dance on New Years and she accepted. That was a week ago. After that she started ignoring me, barely answered text messages, avoided me at a social event we both happened to be at, basically giving me tell tale signs she wasn't interested anymore. Now I'm not upset about this at all, if a girl isn't interested, so be it, I'll live, but she never came right out and said it, which irritated me a bit. So after a week of almost complete silence from her, I texted her "So I'm going to assume you're not interested in us being more than friends, but I need to know if you still want to come to the dance with me" and never got a reply. I'm OK with it all, but my close friend said this probably came off as creepy and desperate, something I wasn't trying to do at all. What do you think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Some people just will not come out and say they don't want to see you anymore. They will use non-verbal signals to let you know. That is what this girl did.

    Other people will go to the extreme of doing things to irritate the other person so that the other person walks away or breaks up. I had that happen to me. I have a cousin who told me that is what she does. She said she just cannot tell someone that it is over. So, instead, she will get very flaky and irritate the other person so that they break up.

    I don't think what you did was creepy or desperate. I would do that as well. But, now that you have and she has not responded, it would be creepy to push her any further. Just be prepared for the other very irritating part of this process. Usually the other person, if they ever end up having a convo with you about this, will act like they don't know what you are talking about, never got your message, tell you they do like you, etc. That is super annoying to me, but it happens.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well you needed an answer! a girl who is going to suddenly act like that isn't worth your time. If she gets creeped out by a text that says that, than I would say she is a little weird. She obviously lost interest for one reason or another, it happens all the time, you are not the first. Just stay clear of her and find someone else to go with.

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  • You should call her or talk to her in person. You need to clarify her feelings, sometimes it will make a girl more interested if you are going to pursue her so she knows you actually care and she isn't just convenient.

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What Guys Said 3

  • It's okay man, when I first started dating I did the same stuff (texting, wondering etc..). Probably came off as desperate as she's shown all the signs of no interest you yet you keep on hoping she'll come around.

    The thing is, if a girl is interested she'll return calls and texts, if a girl starts being flaky... mark it down as no bueno and move on.

    I've hung around for girls 70% interested and they finally said "eh, I'll go out with this guy" and basically got a 70% effort on her part on the date. You don't want that and it's waste of money and time. Either she's all in or it's another free night of p*rn and masturbation followed by video games (which is cheaper and better than taking a girl out whose barely interested).

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    • Well perhaps you're right, I had actually dropped it by then, I just really needed clearification on the dance so I could find a different date, probably shouldn't have brought up the "just friends" part. Oh well.

    • don't dwell on it, doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things

  • girls have a 6th sense

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  • Any answer is viable

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