Talking to someone after the first date.

I went on a casual date with a guy and I really liked him, and at the end of the date told me to text him, which I did. I told him I'd like to see him again and he said after the holidays would be okay. Is it okay to contact him between this time? I don't want to seem desperate or overbearing. Or should I just wait until after the holidays?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Read The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. It's old school but you're past 30 and it works. You should have told him after the date for him to text you. Men need to pursue. That's how they invest in relationships early. Let him come to you. If he doesn't then he just wasn't that into you. If you keep contacting him, you can't help but look desperate no matter what you say in the texts or calls.

    • I'm 31. That's not exactly oldschool.

    • No but you're old enough to appreciate that human nature is pretty much immutable to change and therefore the ideas in this book are valid. Enjoy! Sorry if I offended.

    • I've read that book and it's ridiculously sexist.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Sure, do contact him. In a responsible way. Show him interest, and see how he responds.

    You'll only look desperate if you keep contacting him and he doesn't reply.

    I don't buy this "pursuing" game. If you like him, show him. If he likes you, he'll show you back.

    Then you'll be all happy and stuff.

    Best wishes :)


What Girls Said 2

  • I think it would be. Why would you have to stop talking to him just because he wants to see you after the holiday's? It's better to keep talking to them, keep it friendly. You know, just ask about his day and stuff like that and wish him happy holiday's. I think you would sound desperate if you keep asking him when you can see him again.

    • I only contacted him twice, that was the night of the date when I saw him online, then a couple of days ago to email a video I thought he might like. But I'm not keeping him updated on every piece of my life because we've just been on one date, and he left town for the holidays. He didn't respond to either, but I keep going on the fact that he said he'll see me again.

  • It is okay to contact him...only to wish him a Happy Holidays. Afterwards, DO NOT contact him again. Calling him more than this one time will make you seem pushy. If he wants to hear from you, he'll call. Let him show his interest towards you, too. :)