Tough Situation! Stuck between two guys.

Ill keep it short.

Boy A: Met him, he helped me through a whole wack of personal stuff. We dated off and on. He cheated on me. We broke up. We have been speaking/flirting (mostly on his half) He has some good qualities like he knows me very well and ect, but he has no job, lives with his brother, no direction in life and is a very poor conversationalist. he's sorta manipulative too.. when we argue, he changes the conversation in a way where expressing my feelings makes me the bad guy.

Meet Guy B (Guy A's brother)

Excellent conversationalist.

Hes being flirty with me, telling me that I should come to university down by his place, that I can live with him and hell buy my tickets and everything. Has a stable job, and is looking to buy his own house. (and he is TWO years YOUNGER than brother A! Who is living with Brother B, no job.. ect)

They both have excellent qualities, but I'm feeling a real strong chemistry with both of them and I don't know what to do.

Help!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Guy A does not have excellent qualities . . . He's a cheater, he doesn't have a job, he doesn't have goals and you don't enjoy talking to him. I'd say him knowing you well isn't a quality you can even count, anyone can get to know you well if you let them. Guy B sounds decent, except that he's Guy A's brother. And they live together. Run the other direction.

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    • Blah.. I know.

      I should be, but I feel such a strong pull to Guy B specifically.

      Like, he's becoming someone really important to me.

    • Tread carefully. Friends are loyal, brothers even more so. If guy A really cared for you, then guy B shouldn't date you. If he does anyway, then he's probably lacking some moral fiber, and you don't want that. Just remember to be careful, a lot of feelings may get involved here :o/

    • yep. theyre not super close. they both just wanted out of their mom's house. they don't really talk that much and they live very seperate lives. I am definitly trying to be cautious, and trying to figure out my thoughts and feelings.

What Guys Said 2

  • B. A sounds like an immature version of B ;D

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    • Thanks! But how do I get around the awkwardness of it being his brother? I can see myself with B for a long time. But I'm so worried that A will try and ruin things because I could be choosing his brother over him!

    • you can't get around it - you either choose one of them , or neither of them

    • alright, thanks

  • Well if you decide to go with Brother B isnĀ“t the A dude already included in the live - in package?

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What Girls Said 5

  • How about not messing with any. Brother A. is a looser and if he cheats on you its supposed to be a done deal. Brother B. knows you have slept with brother A. thinks that you are easy and needy and will more than likely use you. However, if you take your time with Brother A. and date a few months without having sex. I don't see what the issue would be.

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    • I don't believe brother B thinks that though. None of the stuff he is saying has any kind of sexual undertones. Why do you think he will use me?

      The issue with Brother A is that he's cheated on me, and has a very manipulative personality. No drive, no job, ect.

  • Guy B without question. Guy A is a dead beat, cheating, jerk. Although I don't know how well dating an old boyfriend's brother is going to go.

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    • Exactly what I'm worried about. since Guy A is has a tendancy to be manipulative and a very short temper, I'm extremley worried he'd want to sabotage the relationship somehow.

    • You can understand why maybe brothers would try to salvage a relationship with each other first. If Guy B is as great as he seems too, he's not going to want to be playing second fiddle to his ass of a brother. If you want it to work, focus your attentions on the right guy, forget the jerk.

    • Yea, absolutley. They are not very close brothers. They tend to fight a lot and don't speak very much to each other. They live very seperate lives.

  • Guy B definitely. If Guy A cheated on you once, he will do it again. Guy B actually seems like he's going somewhere and is not taking a lifelong career as a bum. Seems like Guy A doesn't really help with you self esteem. Go for the guy that actually seems to want you and not take you as a fall back until something better comes along. Best wishes with Guy B:)

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    • Thanks so much. I've definitly been loving the "Oh, I gotta go to work!" not the "What did I do today? Nothing." Ugh! Seeing a guy with that much desire to succeed... *swoon*

  • uh none

    guy B could easily be trying to get in your pants and

    guy A is manipulative and dating manipulative people is horrid, plus no determination etc and you will have to nag him to do stuff

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    • I know guy B is not trying to get in my pants. NONE of the stuff he is saying has any kind of sexual undertones. It all just calling me pretty, telling me that I'm lovely to talk with, ect.

    • Show All
    • There could be sexual attraction on his end but I don't think his flirting/wanting to spend time with me and his motivation to have long, honest conversations is him only wanting to get in my pants.

    • riiiiiight right right

  • Based on your descriptions, guy B...without a doubt! That's up to you, though...going from one brother to the next is navigating some veryyyyy risky waters.

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    • Exactly ! And that's what I've really been worried about. Especially because Guy A has a tendancy to be a little manipulative. I'm SO worried that he's going to try and sabotage the relationship.

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